Should men still pay on a first date?

A question about : Should men still pay on a first date?

Poll started 18 Mar 2014

Traditional ideas of chivalry dictate that on a first date, the man should foot the bill. However, in this modern day and age when we’re striving for gender equality, it’s questionable whether gender should have anything to do with who pays on a first date.

Obviously, this poll only makes sense for heterosexual relationships.

Which of the options in this week's poll is closest to your view?

Vote in this week's poll

Did you vote? Why did you pick that option? Are you surprised at the results so far? Have your say below. To see the results from last time, click this

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Best answers:

• I voted for the women should offer but the man should pay option. I have been known to pay my half with a money off voucher, I think it can be a good indicator of compatibility if they appreciate the voucher or think you are strange...!
• Whoever does the asking should pay on the first date, regardless of gender.
  Was it expected that if the woman asks the man on a date the man still pays? Or was it expected that women wouldn't actually do the chasing?
• I've always gone halves.
• Of course whoever issued the invitation should pay! Otherwise I'd be asking potential dates if they like to have dinner, taking them to the Ritz, and letting them pick up the bill.
• I believe the accepted thing is that on the first date that the man should pay, but following that the rule applies that it is whoever asks should pay.
  Having said that, as a woman (in my late twenties) I would NEVER ask a man out for a first date. My mother drilled into me that the man should chase the woman, as it is unattractive for a woman to do the chasing (at least at the start). That's probably not the modern view, but I would say it is pretty true!
• Ironically in the metros rush hour crush today a woman has written in complaining that a guy she likes hasn't asked her out yet. If you don't wish to ask men out fine, that's your choice. However you have no right to complain that no men, or the wrong men are asking you out.
• Perhaps the rules for the 'first date' are simpler so that there is one less variable. For that reason, I feel best to let the man pay on the first date and woman to contribute on subsequent dates.
  We've had great fun negotiating this in practice - over the past 20 years.
• I think this is one of those 'selective equality' issues for some women.
• Either halves or whoever asked should pay. But if one of them chooses something really expensive, they should pay, regardless of whoever asked who out.
• If I asked then I'd offer to pay. But I consider it more "generally being polite, and wanting to treat someone I've taken a liking to" than "an expectation".
  I'm 100% in favour of equality between men and women, but it goes both ways, the ladies shouldn't be limiting their expectations to only when it's to their benefit. Equality means equality, not just switching things so the males end up the disadvantaged gender.
• My wife still teases me for not paying in full on our first date
• A slightly odd poll, as the first two options are the same, they both say 'The man should pay'. Impossible to know which to pick, as you can't predict what the woman will say/offer. I ended up selecting the first one, but they are both true.
  Seems over 50% of both men and women agree the man should pay, anyway.
• I'm genuinely curious. Those who think the man should pay, are they also of the opinion that the man should always be the one doing the asking or do they think that if the woman asks the man out, he should still pay?
• Do women want equality? Then why do so many of them think it's right that the man should automatically pay on the first date ?
• Whoever does the asking should pay, but obviously there's still a bias there because the majority of scenarios will be a man asking a woman out.
  I'm a fan of equality, but I don't think it has to mean the death of chivalry or courtship. You can view a woman as your equal, and still want to woo her with dinner and flowers. Convincing someone you'd be a good partner doesn't have to have anything to do with gender.
• I voted for whoever asks should pay. It would seem strange to me to be invited out and then expected to pay!
• When I was asked out last year, I did ask who was paying and had brought my card with me, just in case I was expected to pay my share. I never once assumed he was going the full bill, which he did.