Money Moral Dilemma: Should we share in sister-in-law's cashback?

A question about : Money Moral Dilemma: Should we share in sister-in-law's cashback?

Here's this week's hypothetical situation for you to cogitate on:

Should we share in sister-in-law's cashback?

My sister-in-law always picks up the bill or buys things and asks us to pay her cash. We know she uses both a cashback site and her points-earning credit card. So should she pass on the savings to us?

Click reply to have your say

This Forum Tip was included in MoneySavingExpert's weekly email
Don't miss out on new deals, loopholes, and vouchers
FAQs
Privacy Policy
Past Emails
Unsubscribe

Best answers:

• Why don't you use cashback sites and a credit card that gives you points? Then you can pay for things yourself, get rewards, and avoid the complications.
  Problem solved.
• Since she is part of your family, I think it is not very nice (to put it politely) if she lets you pay the full price when she is bagging discounts or reward points. She should at least share these with you.
  I agree with the previous comment, that you should get your own cashback or loyalty credit card and start using cashback websites. As I don't know your personal circumstances, I understand that getting a credit card may be easier said than done. Signing up to a cashback site such as quidco only takes a few moments, does not require a credit check and you can earn/save by shopping online or uploading receipts.
• Depends how much you're talking. If it's a couple of quid I personally wouldn't bother.
  If you are bothered next time you go out take your credit card and just pay for yourself or for her too so you can reap the benefits of cash back etc.
  If its a case of she's helping out by organising whatever or helping your cashflow don't be so tight !
  Jen
• If she is booking it all and presumably getting good deals i fail to see why she should, otherwise do it yourself
• Just deduct the cashback amount from the cash you handover to her. If she don't like it she can lump it.
• Id say no. Some of the cashback credit card give back something like a quarter of a penny for every pound spent, hardly a fortune.
  I agree with the people who say do it yourself and that includes paying your own share of a bill on a meal out if you dont want her to gain points from it, you do have options.
• This woman is not only getting money from a cashback site and money from using her cashback credit card, she is also delaying actually paying for the goods by using a credit card in the first place! Several years ago I went out for a celebratory meal with a large group of colleagues from work. At the end of the evening one very astute woman said she would pay for the whole meal on her card and work out how much we all owed and we could pay her back in cash. Some people said "That's really nice of her". I said I would pay for my own meal as I knew what I had eaten! I can't believe some of them thought she was doing it out of kindness! So, no, I agree with the others. Pay yourself with your own credit card through your own cashback site.
• Do you know what, life's just too short to get hung up on a few quid here and there. Let them get on with it and enjoy the company.
• No one makes you agree to do it her way.
  Do it yourself or applaud her money saving - we're not talking life changing amounts of money here!
• I've got to say no.
  She's taken the initiative to earn cash back and points and you don't appear to have protested so far, so it seems a bit late now. I have no issue with letting family members earn points by paying on their card - if I wanted a card that earned me points, I'd get one. It works both ways though as I get to pick up loyalty card points if I'm with them in a shop where they don't have one but make a purchase.
  Why not join a cash back site yourself and get a credit card that will earn you points? That way in the future, you can either offer to pay the whole amount and get her to pay you for her share or else, why not split the bill? Most places will let you .
• The accounts are in your sister in laws name and therefore the points are her’s to spend. If you feel that strongly then I would politely say that you are happy to pick up your own shopping and bills. I would even state that you have realised through reading the wonderful website moneysavingexpert.com, that you are missing out on reward points.
  Ultimately however I think I agree with “elsien” on this one…"life is too short!"!
• Unless you actively use these services yourself you're not actually losing out on anything allowing your sister-in-law to do this. It's such a small reward as well you'd probably be embarrassed to receive it if you asked for your 'share'.
  It's also worth pointing out both these rewards take time to actually be cash in your sister-in-laws hand so she will still be paying full price for the goods herself at time of purchase.
  If it really bothers you take the time and do these things yourself rather than causing bad feelings between you and your sister-in-law asking for a share of the reward.
• As I see it, you have two choices, One put up and shut up or Two go and do your own shopping etc on your own.
• She does not/need not/should not/not required to pass the benefits on to you.
  If the question you really are asking is 'should you benefit', then decline her request to paying for you. Pay and claim any benefits for yourself.
  Any reason she provides for her action is irrelevant. Strap for cash/ not strap for cash and any other reason = irrelevant.
  If she has a problem with you paying and claiming for your entitled benefits then she just informed you of how she values you! You then need to decide if you agree/disagree with her valuation and act accordingly.
  P.S Don't undersell yourself even to your in-laws.
• Next time the matter arises, state assertively that you intend to pay the bills this time, and thence every second time. If she objects, she will actually have to say why on every occasion she wants to pay and get refunded in cash. She will thus expose herself as the money-grabbing, make-money-off-her-own-family, devious creature that you strongly suspect her to be.
  (If you feel really strongly about the matter, you could always try to arrange things so that she becomes an ex-sister-in-law?!)
• If it's your sis in law you've got a problem making a fuss about this because family can cause hell.
  If you get on well with her you could try asking her about this - if it's bothering you, if it doesn't bother you - leave well alone!
  My sis in law is like this - we got - AS OUR WEDDING PRESENT - a tv which she'd got free for all her sales in cosmetics!
  Our wedding car - was a loan car from the garage where my bro-in-law worked, I was made to write a thank you card during my wedding reception, the card I had to provide as well - can you believe it?!
  We paid for all the food and drink at the reception as well - I have nothing to do with his family now, got so sick of them all over the years, after 9 yrs I broke ties with the lot of them!
• She is doing all the work and you are begrudging her a small amount that she happens to get by careful use of her cards.
  Get a life and don't come near me. I only want to meet nice people.
• If this situation was reversed would you pass the savings on to her if you were paying with a cashback card and asking SIL to pay you in cash?
  She's made the effort to set up a cashback card, hunt for the deals etc. so why shouldn't she benefit?
  If you feel put out, pay your own way rather than paying via her.