Money Moral Dilemma: Should I help my smoker partner save money on cigarettes?

A question about : Money Moral Dilemma: Should I help my smoker partner save money on cigarettes?

I'm a non-smoker but my partner smokes around 20 a day which I don't like. Sometimes he spends more than he needs to buying them in an expensive shop when I know somewhere I can buy them cheaper. Should I buy them to save money? Or refuse on principle?

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Best answers:

• Without getting into the fact that he shouldn't be smoking for his health, it's reason enough to stop because of how expensive it is. If the money he spends comes out of a joint source, ie you pool all your finances, it's reasonable to ask and expect him to try and buy the cheapest he can find. If it's his money to waste though, it's up to him where he buys them. If you are happy to buy them for him, you may as well get them cheaper if you can.
• ... talk to him about it ... yawn!
• I'm intrigued as to where you can buy the cigarettes cheaper - is it a legitimate source ? If it isn't, then I would suggest that you work on him giving up cigarettes completely. If it is legitimate, then I would take him there and point out the price and insist that if he insists on smoking, then he buys them there.
• You can mention you saw them cheaper somewhere, and then resume letting him make his own decisions, being an adult and all..
• I would buy them but ask him to give you money he was previously paying. Then put the difference in to a savings jar for something nice.
• You might as well mention it, I'm sure he already knows that you don't want him to smoke.
• If they're going to smoke, they're going to smoke. Help them save money if you can
  My wife has just stopped smoking after 16 years, using 'vapes' (refillable e-cigs) and a nicotine patch. The combined cost of the two is still less than smoking.
  Smoking e-cigs is healthier (i never said healthy...) than 'real' cigs and significantly cheaper - so maybe that's one direction you could push your partner towards.
• Yes, keep giving him cheaper cigarettes if you're eager to collect his life insurance money!
  Seriously, NO! Just encourage him to stop smoking altogether nd help him to prolong his life. Watching somebody die from lung cancer is not pleasant. Not very nice for the victim either!
• If he is daft enough to smoke and daft enough to pay over the odds for his smokes then he's just daft. Find a new partner.
• 'Refuse on principle' - which principle would that be? That you should control his life?
• A true moral money dilemma at last not "an illegal but should I ignore it" one. No-one gives up smoking until they are ready to. Some keep being nagged to give up smoking and flatly refuse, once everybody stop having a go they stop. Another friend is in a care home because she wouldn't pack in and is still smoking even though she knows it is killing her. So I would go with persuade him to buy cheaper or get them yourself but get the money up front.
  You could try asking him if he wants to be in a care home where he is the only one who knows what day it is and has to be wheelchaired outside to enjoy his cigs. The assistants have to do this or it goes against their human rights, the same as they have to ask a dementia patient if they will take their medication - go figure!
• Try getting him to switch to rolling tobacco rather than cigarettes - he will save a small fortune. We switched to tobacco when ready made cigarettes hit Ј3 per pack (a very long time ago) and, whilst we would like to give up, it does keep the expenditure at a much more manageable level than expensive packet cigarettes (Ј12 per week between us, we do smoke less than 10 a day each though).
• Personally I wouldn't take up with a smoking partner. Health, smell & money issues. Don't some smokers have legs amputated?
  A packet of 20 a day it seems would be around Ј250 a month. Wow, wish I could afford such luxuries. At the end of a year a saving of Ј3,000 if he packed in. A nice holiday or newer car. Buy him an e-cig for Xmas.
• Consider some of the other costs of smoking:- air freshener, breath mints, more loads in the washing machine, car cleaning, replacing home furnishings.
  Seriously, find a non smoker, this guy is way too expensive, smells bad in the mornings and is a ticking healthcare time bomb.
• I had similar dilemma in bringing back cigarettes from duty free in Bali for someone (200 for less than the price of 40 in UK). I hate smoking and don't want to be seen as encouraging it but I guess at the end of the day their choice and me not bringing back wont in itself stop them smoking. My moneysaving desire won over - hate to see people getting ripped off or missing a bargain!
  They didn't even ask me to which might be worse!!
  Don't think I will do again though thinking about it.........
• Are you living together? If not, do what my partner (now husband) did - I smoked when I met him and he said he'd never live with someone who smoked - that was incentive enough for me to give up!
  Don't put up with someone who smokes if you don't like it. It will make you ill too as passive smoke is worse. If they don't care enough for you to give up they are not worth staying with - dump them.
• Is your partner independently wealthy? (Has a healthy sum in the bank & other financial assets?)
  Has he made a Will in your favour? (Sure?)
  Has he heard from at least two medics that this will kill him in under 5 years unless...?
  He's still smopking & still with you? Smile, buy him his 20 a day - using his money but from the cheapest source you can, stashing the rest in Krugerrands under your money plant & wait for Anno Domini. Hoping the medics are right.
  Or, if you have to pay something towards this habit, nudge him towards vaping instead just so you can save a bit on laundry. Put this towards a funeral plan. Once you can afford said plan, buy it & put the next tranche towards a really nice holiday. It may be solo, but keep the options open.
  He will keep on or trade down or quit, as if & when he chooses.
  If you choose to facilitate this, then be as financially savvy about it as you can. Only 20 a day may not be worth a cig cruise every quarter, but there are other more pleasant indulgences to enjoy for less across the border. Booze & perfume (always handy for Christmas, do note) as just 2 examples. Just be careful not to overload the vehicle as the police can & will pull you for that.