Inappropriate behaviour in the work place.

A question about : Inappropriate behaviour in the work place.

I'm looking for some advice if anyone can spare it.

I will start by say I need this job, I have been look for another since I found this behaviour escalating beyond banter but I can't find anything suitable to fit in with the hours and pay needed. This may be a case of just keeping my mouth shut, head down and getting on with it.

My boss is a pervert not only to me but a few others also. I cannot report him. He is the highest person in our organisation there is no one to report it to.

He has repeatedly grabs my bum. Just the other day I was sat and turned to speak to him when he shoved his crotch in my face pretending to undo his zip making a comment. There are lots of comments of a sexual comment that I ignore or walk away from but its the physical contact that is making me dread going into work.

I can't tell oh, he would understandably go mad and want me to quit but this is truely not possible.

I've experienced this in various ways during my working life like a lot of women I'm sure, in fact I can't think of a job I've done where male colleagues have not made these comments. It doesn't surprise me but I really don't want my !!!! grabbed

I have told him to stop, avoided being alone if we have to be which tbh is quite a frequent occurrence due to me being his PA I try to stay seated which obviously wasn't an improvement

I like everything else about my job but I know this boss believes women are worthless and the others just ignore him doing it to them otherwise they know they'll be out of a job should they stand up to much.

If I tell him to !!!!!! off he just makes a comment about me being on my period or how touchy I am and can't I take a joke and carries on regardless. I'm left feeling like I'm making a big deal out of nothing. Another one is, you girls didn't use to be like this you knew your place (he's late 50's early 60's)

Has anyone else experienced this and did you manage to get it stopped? We don't really have HR so not an avenue I can use.

Best answers:

• Does he own the organisation as well? (i.e. is there a board or trustees that would be a separate route)
• I male and can honestly say my work place and previous couple of websites have treated women as equals without any sexist comments etc.
  Is there no way you can find another job?
• Let me start my reply by saying you must not resign and look for another job. You my darling are the victim of a monsterous pervert bully and you have done nothing wrong and did not bring this on yourself. People like his man make my blood boil I wish I worked there I would out him for sure. Please don't resign or remain there suffering in silence please don't. What you describe on here is sexual abuse not just harassment (and that's bad alone) I would like you to consider telephoning your local police HQ and make a appointment to speak to a officer you can go to the station they don't have to come to your house if you don't want them to. This man is a monster and I wouldn't be surprised if he has form for assault of a certain nature. You will be taken seriously my love and if anyone should be going its him not you. You must speak to someone about this a friend or family member too. I dread to think how you must be feeling and im concerned for you and wish you well in getting this sorted out post haste if not sooner. Take care hun.
• make a show of taking out your phone to record his "banter" and IF he asks why - simply say you need it for evidence............ this will either stop him or possibly could result in him trying to dismiss you - so i would ensure I had a few recordings as evidence to allow you pursue a claim of sexual harassment........... yes, I realise this is sneaky but sometimes needs must
• I would be putting discrete little hidden cameras around the workplace and record his goings on. Ones capable of putting time and date on recordings.
  THEN go to the police.
• Yeah, I'd be looking at involving the police having gained evidence first. They do pretty unpleasant things in prison to people like that...
• You are the victim of multiple sexual assaults by this man. If others are also victims of this man's behaviour, you must all report it to the police - they will take it far more seriously if there are a number of people all making allegations of sexual assault by the same perpetrator. How long have you been working for this employer?
• Tell him you really must meet his wife sometime for a friendly chat.
• This is sexual assault. Just because it's your boss and it's happening in your workplace doesn't mean it's any less of a sexual assault.
  You say it's not just to you. Have you spoken to other victims? I'd be going to the Police as a group, and I would start now applying to other companies.
  If he has these sorts of opinions now, or considers this behaviour acceptable, then nothing will stop him continuing, or simply sacking you if he's reprimanded.
• Thank you for all your replies.
  He doesn't own the company but is crucial to its success, before he arrived it was apparently failing miserably. I have been told they will do everything to keep him (those up on high who I've never really met)
  I feel indebted to him for various reasons and when he isn't doing this he's okay to work for, which sounds odd I know but I know if he wasn't my boss I wouldn't have my job. I'm good at my job and has nothing to do with my ability to work its just the company are trying to get rid of roles like mine.
  His wife knows what he's like. The others who have experienced similar do not wish to report I have tried speaking with them but I think I'm the only one really bothered by it. The joke about it.
  I can't go to the police, its just not an option. Please don't think I'm trying to be difficult you advice has opened my eyes. I thought I was being a drama queen but realise this behaviour is unacceptable. I am going to ask for a meeting and discuss how much I don't like this behaviour and if it doesn't end I will have no option to report him.
  I think he's a chancer and a womaniser who will get away with whatever he thinks he can. I need to be firm, I don't do well with confrontation which is probably why he thinks he can get away with it.
  I think its upsetting me that I cannot tell oh, I don't keep secrets from him and if I'm worried about anything he's my sounding board.
  I guess I sound weak
• If you don't wish to report him, to those above him to start with, then you will have to confront him, suffer it or leave.
  Choice is yours.