How much to spend on Christmas Presents?

A question about : How much to spend on Christmas Presents?

Does anyone else struggle with what to spend on friends, family etc for Christmas Presents? This is the first year I have put all the presents I bought for each person on a spreadsheet with the cost so able to add up for each person. I budgeted for Ј1000 for Christmas - Ј700 for presents and Ј300 for extra food, drink, decorations and 1 Christmas party ticket for my work do - my husband's firm doesn't do one.

I bought presents according to what I thought people would like and managed to keep to roughly the same amount for friends and mum, stepdad, brother, sister, niece and nephew but on adding up the sums for my husband, 2 daughters and son in law I seem to have spent a lot more on one daughter than the other but because the presents are small (but expensive) her stocking is much smaller in physical size. My husband also seems to have dipped out as there is nothing he really wants. I know they won't care about this but I am feeling like I should really go out and buy more for my other daughter and husband. Also as I have spent Ј702 I am already Ј2 over budget so don't want to do that.

Does anyone else worry about this sort of thing and does it take the joy out of present giving to make it so mathematically calculated? I have never worried about it before as never really budgeted for Christmas just bought what I thought people would like and never added up the cost.

Best answers:

• No I worry. My son is 11 and he wants small techno presents. My daughter is 8 and wants games and girly bits. My sons presents are tiny. Small boxes where as my daughter looks as though we have spent millions. Which we haven't just lots of games etc.
  As for the cost? mmmm Have tried not to think ha ha
• I assume your daughters are grown ups as there is a son in law in there too so are more than capable of knowing that the fact one of them has more or bigger parcels and the other smaller but more expensive ones doesn't mean they are been treated unfairly.
  If they were tiny kids I could see your point --and would suggest adding a bit more bulk from the pound store but not for adults or even teenagers who are well aware of what things cost.
• We only have 1 child so no issue with trying to keep kids equal. My parents always had the same budget for me and my brother, and stuck to it. If we wanted something more expensive the grandparents and Aunts and Uncles contributed too, and for really big stuff we had to contribute out of our pocket money.
  Physical size of presents never made any difference.
  For me and my hubby we generally get similar priced presents, but we are flexible. Last year hubby got a new bike for over Ј1000, where as a got about Ј200 of craft stuff. He got a really small birthday present, and I'm getting a Ј500ish present this year. It balances out in the end.
• I shouldn't think your daughters would at all mind if one has tiny, expensive presents and one has bigger cheaper ones. "You've all had the same" - I can remember my mum saying to me. And I can also remember saying to her, it's all lovely, but we're grown up now, spend on the grand kids if you must spend on anyone (I have no kids, therefore I am just a giant kid and will get the things I want for myself as and when I can afford them anyway).
  And it sounds as though it's going to be an awesome Christmas for you. My hubby and I spend Ј50 tops on each other, and we bargain hunt to get what would be dear presents for absolute cheapness.
  If you do get any raised eyebrows, just tell them what an absolute bargainista you've been - and that they really have all had the same.
• It does sound as though one daughter is being penalised for getting married/becoming sucessful.
• I don't have any children, but my mum and dad used to be the same, giving us both exactly the same. It came to a head when my mum walked round to my house with Ј1.60 as she had bought my sister a bucket and didn't want me to think she loved her more!!
  At the moment, my sister (aged 23) gets more spent on her because she needs more and has a young daughter, so less money, whereas I (too near to 30 ) can treat myself more often and would rather not have stuff for the sake of it, only to have to find somewhere for it to live in the house until I've had it long enough not to feel so guilty when I give it to a charity shop.
  Arguably, your married daughter receives more as you also spend on a gift for her husband, there's also more likelihood of her having children sooner that you might want to spoil to. And if she's older, she'll have had more years of presents before your other daughter came along. Plus, there might be a time when your married daughter needs more financial help.
  It sounds like this could have happened in previous years, its just that this time you know about it because you've kept track.
  If you were my mum I'd tell you to stop worrying about nothing and spend your money on yourself for once.
  For your husband, is there a nice bottle of wine he'd like but wouldn't buy, or could you buy a cinema gift card or restaurant gift voucher for the 2 of you to enjoy in January when all the excitement of Christmas is over?
• My mum subtracts the cost of my kids (i.e. her grandkids) from my presents so it is apparently 'more fair'
  I'm honestly not bothered about presents as I'm capable of buying myself stuff I want, but I think it's quite petty to manipulate gift 'amounts' like that.
  You're giving to the person, not the household.
• I am so glad that I don't live in a family that does everything to the penny!
  Neither my brother nor I feel "deprived" yet I know that some years I get more for Christmas than he does, other years he gets more - we are both adults, we earn our own money, presents are just that - PRESENTS - they are appreciated but not expected!
  Seriously, I wouldn't have a problem if I ended up with a pair of slippers & a jigsaw whilst he got a new TV if that's what was most suitable for the circumstances that year!
• I have a fairly big family here in the UK and various countries abroad.
  About 15 years ago we all agreed that the whole consumerism aspect had gotten out of hand (together with postage abroad costs) and the stress and time involved was getting silly and agreed on a budget that could buy each person something like - a novel, a CD, a voucher, a novelty item like bookmarks, wooden spoons, or something home made or amusing etc. Think we started off with 5-10 pounds.
  So this year it's actually around Ј10-15 each person (that includes kids). And I do the same for friends. I might spend a little more if I know it is something they would really like, but not much. My OH is an exception but often the amount is still moderate. This way nobody feels hard done by or that they are spending money they don't have or are being mean or something - in my family at least we all pretty much have everything we need.
  The family motto is that Christmas is about family and friends not about money and presents and this way of doing things has nothing to do with how well off you are (or not) and it takes all the unnecessary stress out of things. We focus on people and always there are lots of phone calls during the holidays all over the globe as well.
  I'm so glad we did this as it's so much simpler and enjoyable (I'm not a real christmas fan anyway!). (I remember well the horrible costs and stress it caused everyone before we started this).
• It seems to me that for most christmas is far too much about material things and the cost, i mean honestly do some of you adults hear yourselves?? worrying about having the same spent on you or not or whether its fair? im 36, married and have 4 children, there is nothing i personally want for christmas from my husband or our parents, me and my husband do not buy gifts for each other, because for us, christmas is about our children and spending time together. my birthday is just before christmas, and i ask for nothing (even from my husband) id rather homemade cards from the children, thats it. if other family members give me money, its an extra present bought for the children.
  im self employed and moneys tight, but i am trying to make december as fun as possible for us all, with new traditions, family walks, movie nights (at home) craft afternoons, school pantos, carol singing. christmas for me is about my family, being thankful for the things i have got, not the material things i have`nt got.
• Me and OH only buy for my family - brother and wife, sister and husband, nieces and nephews and we try and spend exactly the same on them all. It might vary by a pound but not really any more.
  When me and my siblings were young our parents would make sure they spent exactly the same on us - I think they still do. OH's parents on the other hand would always spend far far more on his sister (they only ever wanted a girl). One year she got a stereo system and he got a jumper!
• This time I have saved a lot for celebrating Christmas, I will purchase so many gifts and celebrate Christmas with happiness.