Housekeeping budget

A question about : Housekeeping budget

Im a married dad with a lovely wife and three kids (aged 11,6 and 2)

My wife stays at home to look after the kids.

I want to set a monthly budget for how much she should be spending to look after everyone.

At the moment there is no budget and the month end credit card bill can be eye watering!

So its basically a budget on how much my wife is allowed to spend every month.

This would cover family grocery shop for 5 people (2 adults+3 kids) +clothes and other spending for my wife and kids (books, uniforms, cosmetics, petrol for her car,birthdays,xmas, takeaways, ad hoc treats etc)

Does not include, utility bills, rent, car payments+tax+insurance+maintenance, holidays, my clothing, which would be a separate budget.

Would be interested to know how much other similar sized families are spending, my wife can spend over Ј2000 a month sometimes, the biggest part being the weekly shop, which can be over Ј200 a week sometimes.

How much is everyone else spending?

Best answers:

• It would be a better idea to sit down with your wife and discuss this to be honest.
  Im getting a bad feeling from you to be honest.
  Some of your phrasing is archaic.
  YOU want to set a monthly budget
  She will be ALLOWED a set amount.
  Work out something between you. People on a random forum cannot really advise meaningfully, we have no idea of your lifestyle.
  It maybe isn't the case but its what's coming over, to me anyway.
• Have hinted about her high spending in the past. It never goes down well. I think im going to have to impose some financial discipline before it gets imposed on us, when we run out of money.
  Dont have anyone to talk to about it, hence asking here.
• You need to sit down and work out how much things actually cost, at the standard you wish to buy, then work out the budget.
  No one here can give you an answer - they may shop at Aldi, and you might want M&S Salmon, iyswim. Asda school uniform versus John Lewis, etc.
• Pick your battles. She's landed the clothes & cooking straw. If you are adamant that Ј200 a week is too much (and you are in the right place to find individuals who can make that go 'way further), then suggest a swap - you do the groceries buying for a month & whenever an ingredient is missing, or the food isn't as nice, you cop the flack?
  Also go careful with the wording - if my husband said I was only allowed X for something, not only would I spend every penny of that, there'd be an extra item or four on the credit card. Whereas if he said, the credit card bill has me scared, can we draw up a budget, I might be more willing to sit and listen & join in.
  Essentially you need her cooperation. Or your personal shopping bill may well drop sharply, but the divorce means you lost the war.
  And with a two year old, she probably doesn't have a great deal of personal time to spend outwitting the professional sellers (supermarkets) - so negotiate carefully?
• I'd sit down together and get a piece of paper and make up a plan
• You say you don't have anyone to talk to about it but presumably you can talk to your WIFE about it.. There is a detailed budget tool on MSE you can use together to BOTH decide how much you need/wish to spend on housekeeping.
  https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/ban...udget-planning
• Mc Kneff picked up on the same thoughts as me. .....
  'she needs to be looking after everyone' ....
  'I want to set the budget'
  It sounds as if when you're telling your teenage kids why they can't have all the latest designer clothes. You need to sit down together and look what you've got coming in before deciding the best way it can be spent.
• Ask your wife for advice in the form of "I'm really worried we won't have enough to pay the utilities this month. Can YOU help ME to find a way to stretch our income a bit further." Say it nicely, like you really need her help. This should be a joint project but i understand maybe your wife has her head in the sand at present. Suggest ways YOU could save, e.g. taking packed lunch to work, and hopefully she will reciprocate.
• I agree that it should be phrased nicely, but, *ducks to avoid cans being thrown* if you're paying, you should be setting the budgets. It's maybe the most anti-feminist thing I'll ever say but if your wife is content to be a homemaker and not go out to work to earn money then she should accept that the breadwinner makes the rules when it comes to spending. I would say the same if the situation was reversed.
  You giving her your credit card to buy essentials is not carte Blanche for her to spend whatever she wants and in the long term it will hurt the whole family. She needs to understand this. Yes, it's a difficult conversation but it needs to be had.
  Maybe there's a reason for her high spending that you don't know about. Maybe she's secretly unhappy being at home and relying on you all of the time. Or maybe she just feels like you should keep her in the manner to which she's become accustomed because you're her husband and that's your "job". If it's the latter I'd tell her to grow up. But most likely, there's some other reason behind it.
  Good luck!
• You could put a statement of affairs on the debt free board, you'll get suggestions from helpful people about where you can cut spending. That could be the basis for on-going discussions with your wife about the household finances.
• I think people are being to harsh. She stays at home with kids fair enough - but shes spending Ј1200 a month ...on what? It seems abit selfish to me that he goes off to work and she basicly goes out shopping and spending that amount of money...and maybe a budget is the only way it will calm her down!
  Personally I'd forget the food budget for now, Ј200 is alot but its not OTT with three kids and a spending problem I bet she would be on the fence about that.
  Assuming your not in debt but just looking to cut back I'd probably leave that where it is, I'd focus on what shes buying for the credit card but you will need to talk to her about it and don't just cut her off as people have said divorce bells...I'd aim to do it gradually as well (unless your in debt ofc thats where I'd be putting my foot down)
  We have a santander credit card that gives us cash back we only use it for shopping & petrol and this comes to about Ј450 a month for a family of 4 (including a baby that doesn't cost anything ATM lol) and I generally spend around Ј200 a month, that includes clothes for the kids any extras that you never think about like car parking fees..or takeaways...and if anything is left at end month I'll buy myself something but their usally isn't much.
• How about setting up a SOA, that you both fill in together.
  Showing her that you won't be able to pay the bills or do nice things unless you can set a budget. Sit down talk and decide on a goal you both want
  If you only set a budget for your wife and not your family then that creates bad feeling and could result in her spending more to spite you. Husbands best mate did it so wife racked up 25K in cc debt to illustrate how unhappy she was about it.
  Good luck
• 2000 on shopping is a heck of a lot of money. I earn just over half that and have to pay all the bills and mortgage out of it and still have some left over. I'd sit down and do a budget with her and just explain that you will have to cut back on something and was wondering if she could help you look into it as your then not telling her to cut back but asking her as a partner to be an equal and find things that you both could cut back on to balance the books