Am I being pathetic?

A question about : Am I being pathetic?

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Best answers:

• Do they make cards from husband to wife on the birth of their child? My husband is quite thoughtful but I don't think it would have entered his head to send me a card tbh. Have you sent him one?
  I ask because I have had four and never had such a card. I did get flowers though on each occasion.
• We all have our own things we hold important, If its important to you then it matters. You need to tell him how you feel, explain that to him calmly or the resentment will continue to build. Good luck. X
• If it is important to you then it does matter but if it makes it any easier I don't think it is the norm.
  Some men are card men some aren't. None of my sons are and I have had to train them over the years....the eldest reaped the rewards with his first gf, he would never have bought a birthday card had I not reminded him that such things are important to a lot of women, he would just have bought a present, and, like many people he thinks cards are way too pricy for what they are.
• I find an Amazon wish list invaluable living in a house with 5 males!! I keep it updated and lo, the gifts appear as if by magic.
• CrazyAngel - this will be a bad month to try to train your husband. Mine gets cranky on lack of sleep & sporadic meals (although survival has prompted him to master the sandwich toaster.)
  If he has other womenfolk, share the "wish I got a card" & get them to steer him towards ecards at a minimum. (They are allowed to use sticks without it being dometic abuse.) I believe moonpig also allow you to set up a diary of birthdays, anniversaries etc so they can email reminders through.
  If you think he might learn to interpret an Amazon wishlist, it can't hurt but presents are a poor substitute for listening & thinking & considering. Although if he's doing none of the above, presents are the last resort of the incompetent.
  You've survived this far & kept the relationship going this far - see how it goes. A card needs training. Flowers seem to be easier for them to understand. (Or perhaps florists can wring out wallets more easily.) Soon, if he changes a nappy it'll be worth more than 10 "I love you" notes, so focus on what you need him to learn!
  All the best with your little one, your husband & your relationship!
• Surely if your OH gives you a card now it will just be an empty gesture? There won't be any real emotion attached to it.
  How can any card bought just because he has to buy one actually mean anything?
  I think there are bigger things to concentrate on than this to be honest. You now have a baby and are looking at the future as parents... that is going to be pressured enough... don't add to that by expecting him to suddenly become a whole new and better person.
• I never got a card from my sons dad I never even expected one. I know lots of people who have had children and never heard of a card being given from the father to the mother, the only cards I know to receive are to both of your from friends and family.
  I know you did all the hard work (giving birth etc) but did you give him a card thanking him to help make your beautiful baby, at the end of the day it is him who gave you that wonderful present.
  I hope you are ok OP you will be tired and emotional and it is easy for things like this to get out of proportion, and understandable why you feel like you do, especially if you have been having problems, but I think on this occasion you are expecting too much from him (how would he know he was suppose to send a card when its not something that the majority of people do). See what happens next Birthday I am sure you will get a lovely card then
• It's not about cards or flowers, it is about repeatedly telling a person that something upsets you and they ignore it.....
• What did you write in the card you sent him?
• To respond to the title of the thread, YES.
  https://www.amazon.co.uk/Cognitive-Be...825711-4206511
  Read this book and work through the exercises to change your erroneous thinking patterns. It will help you evaluate feeling the way you do, and to re-prioritise the importance you attach to things like not getting a dead bit of tree from your husband.
  Good luck.
• The traditional gift from husband to wife on the birth of their first child is an eternity ring. Twenty two years later I'm still waiting for mine.
  But cards are from well wishers to both parents, remember, not just to you. So it's a bit odd imho to be sending cards to each other to wish yourselves joy on the birth of your new baby. Did you send him one on becoming a new dad? And if not, why do you think you should have received a card and not him?