Would you invoice a Birthday party no-show?

A question about : Would you invoice a Birthday party no-show?

What would you do if you were sent a Ј15 invoice because your child couldn't make a birthday party? This is what happened when a five-year old missed a dry ski slope party. Do you think it's completely bonkers? Or is it perfectly acceptable? Let us know.

Best answers:

• From what I heard the father of the boy that couldn't attend, had accidentally double-booked and couldn't find the original invite to ring and apologise, but did so via facebook (I presume this was so they had an apology before schooltime, but I don't know the full facts.)
  When you book a child's party/wedding reception/18th birthday party etc you know your budget in advance and pay the price per head, assuming all that have replied with a yes will turn up. If they don't it's annoying but would an invoice still have been sent if that boy was seriously ill/ parent taken ill/died etc. The original invite either needed to state that non-attendance would result in an invoice as they are on a tight budget, or, if not, just suck up the non-attendance. (Surely if money is that tight they could have had a traditional party at home and cut costs down?) If I had the money I would have paid their invoice (if totally skint I would explain so) just to keep the peace/be the bigger person, but apologise again for the non-attendance and that, in a nice way, you hadn't seen anything on the invite about a non-attendance fee.
• That's actually pretty funny - cheered me up so thanks!
  JUst pay it and don't bother accepting any further invites from them?
• I think it's absurd and borderline bonkers.
  Just for the way in which it was done I would take extreme pleasure in telling the parent where to go.
  An invoice was given to the school teacher to be put in the child's bag - she didn't even have the guts to give it to the other parent herself. Had it been me and she approached me and explained her grievance in a mature way I would have offered the Ј15 without even being asked, but to be invoiced via my child...??
  See you in court!
• All I will say is it is soooooooooo annoying when parents say children can go to a party and you arrange food, party bags etc etc......and they don't turn up! This used to happen often at my dd's parties when they were younger. I don't know what happened with this particular story but I'm glad it's highlighted this issue to parents.
• Absurd. Yes, it might be annoying if a kid doesn't show up to a party but it's (a) a kid and (b) a kids party, for gawds sake! A fun part of life and a small part.
  To turn it into a social vendetta is sad. To use a kids party for any reason other than kids fun is sad.
• From what I saw on Good morning Britain yesterday, they had said the boy would be attending, then on the day the father asked the boy if he wanted to go to the party or go out with his grandparents, the boy chose his grandparents so didn't go to the party. Absolutely disgraceful behaviour by the parent. If you've accepted the invitation he should have taken the boy to the party he can see the grandparents any time. Had the child been poorly then that's a different matter that can't be helped. I feel sorry for the family who wasted their money on no shows.
• The main issue I think (that I haven't seen anywhere so far) is that with these sort of parties (and weddings for that matter) the parent/bride/groom usually says - I can afford for 10 kids/100 adults etc to come - Billy/Betty - choose your 10 - then if not all 10 can come they move on to the 11th on the list etc. By not telling them they couldn't come they have deprived another child of attending what sounds like a superb party, the birthday child has had one less person to celebrate with, and the only winner is the venue hosting the party that got money without having to provide the skiiing (but hopefully they got the food for the number of children paid for). And without being there the whole party may have had to hang around waiting for this no show and may have been late starting their activities. Raising the invoice will have hopefully made this father realise that you can't do this sort of thing - and what parent doesn't have a noticeboard where they put all the school trip letters, party invites etc so this father needs a personal organisation course by the sounds of it.
• Regardless of whether the invited child's parents made contact or tried to make contact should not have any effect on the way it was dealt with.
  If I had double booked one of my kids I would probably have made a point of trying to meet the organising parent at school and apologising, with an offer to cover any lost deposit etc, or offering a gift that would more than cover the cost depending on prior knowledge of the parent/child.
  If the parent came to me first, explained they were out of pocket because of my error, of course I would offer reimbursement unless there were extenuating circumstances like illness, a death or impassible traffic etc.
  If I received an invoice through my child all decency and understanding would go out the window. I would probably take my chances with the small claims court, given that there is no prior mention of a non-attendance fee. Would they expect you to pay if your kid had norovirus and you kept him home to prevent the birthday boy getting a dose of the scoots for 24 hours?
• I think invoicing was silly and over the top but the mother may have just been trying to make a point.
  I think the parents of the boy who didn't go are very rude as they should have notified the other parents and as for then running to the papers with the non story! The papers should have told them to get a life and some manners.
• I fully agree with what stephb34 has said. The parents were at fault for giving the child an opportunity to not go to the party. The child has to understand that a promise to attend should be kept. The father said he had no contact details but the mother messaged on Facebook so a lack of communication between the parents. The invoice method was over the top, a simple phone call would possibly have resulted in a donation to pay for the wasted space. The parents should be responsible for their commitments.
• I rather suspect that we have not heard the full story here.
  Could it possibly be that the parents of the children who attended each paid the entrance fee to the venue for their own children and the venue (rather than the parents) raised an invoice on the no-show for failure to honour the booking which the parent then passed on to the responsible party?
  Puts a rather different complexion on it doesn't it?
• I'm of the view that the invoicing is completely bonkers, no matter the reason for it.
  If you feel like you've wasted money thanks to a no-show at a kids party, I suggest you've spent too much money on that party. Kids would be happy with going around to the birthday boy/girl's house and eating some sweets from the pound shop.
  If you're tearing your hair out at the perceived loss of a fiver's worth of Haribo, that's your problem. The same principle applies for any booking fees. You should feel comfortable paying the total amount, no matter how many people actually turn up. If you don't feel comfortable, then keep your money in your pocket.
  As for the moral aspect of not turning up, I'd call up to say my child wouldn't be attending but if that slipped my mind, I wouldn't lose any sleep over it nor fret over my parenting skills. I'd simply call to apologise afterwards.
• There are two issues here.
  Firstly, if you are hosting an expensive off-site event on the basis that the attendee's parents are responsible for the cost you should make it absolutely clear that, once agreed, the parent of the child attending is bound to pay. In fact, take the contributions beforehand.
  Secondly, if you accept a party invitation, it is totally unacceptable to renege on that unless there are dire circumstances which prevent attendance such as illness or a relative's death. Getting a better offer and going with that is simply not on. It's the height of rudeness.
  Having said this, it is questionable whether parents should be hosting events they cannot themselves afford to pay for. And it is insensitive in the extreme to harder pressed parents to be expected to cough up for luxury treats for little ones or to be put in the position of having to explain to their youngsters they must miss out because the treat is unaffordable.
  Whatever happened to the traditional party with games and a party tea? Parents should not be indulging children with expensive, vanity events. It is a form of emotional blackmail to bully other parents into attending and being forced to reciprocate. What sort of moral lesson is this to children concerning money? I am better then you because I had a more expensive party? (Despite the fact that your parents had to pay for it themselves).
  This story is a wonderful revelation of modern morals and manners - or rather the lack of them on the part of the hosts and the guests' parents. No one comes out of it smelling of roses.
• From what I read, I saw it on Twitter and I think the link was to The Mirror, the child had a last minute change of mind due to being offered to go out with his grandparents - now it didn't say if he didn't see his grandparents very often though, but I do think the child should have gone to the party and the parents should not have offered the change unless he didn't get to see his grandparents very often.
  It is unfair to the child who's party it is for a child to not turn up especially if they are good friends, possibly that is why the mum has charged, because her child was very upset at the kid not turning up? I don't know, it didn't say.
  I know in the past my child was upset not to have a close friend turn up and for similar reasons - being ill is a good reason to not attend but to go out elsewhere is not, especially if it is grandparents who you see often - that is wrong on every level and totally bad manners - the parents are wrong to do that as it's teaching bad manners to the child.
  However in this instance the parents of the birthday child are well off and can afford the loss, the parents of the child not attending are not well off and therefore I think it is wrong to charge them in this instance.
  I think a letter telling them what they thought would have been more appropriate.
• Stood up by a five year old.
  "Life's a !!!!!", and it starts young these days!
• I think the time has come to bring children's parties back down to a normal level. This no show child was 5 years old. If the parents of the birthday child want to splash out this amount of cash on an expensive "do", that's up to them but, personally, I don't see the necessity. Take the child out on his/her own for a special treat but in future hire a hall for the friends, let them run around for an hour. Give them some tea and then pack them off with a SMALL party bag. It's all getting far too competitive and it's nonsense. Yes, it is courteous to let someone know if there has been a change of plan but please, don't make so much out of this.
• Firstly, if you are hosting an expensive off-site event on the basis that the attendee's parents are responsible for the cost you should make it absolutely clear that, once agreed, the parent of the child attending is bound to pay. In fact, take the contributions beforehand.
• I think it is perfectly reasonable for the hostess to have sent the invoice. It is exceedingly bad manners to accept an invitation, then not show up because you have received another invite that you prefer better. The father of the boy is at fault in my view as he should have contacted the hostess to let her know that his son would not be going to the party despite having originally accepted the invitation.
  It is not a matter of cost, affordability or even a reflection on the father's parenting skills - it purely boils down to a lack of manners. The issuance of an invoice simply draws the non-attending boy's parents attention to the fact that they are sadly lacking in basic manners. Hopefully the next time they accept an invitation and can no longer attend they will do the right thing and call to cancel.
  No matter how busy you are, if you have accepted an invitation and can no longer make the event, call and let the host/hostess know. If the event had been arranged by one of your friends or family members, I'm sure that you would consider it the right thing to do to let them know if you can no longer make it, and would have done so without further thought. So why not extend the same courtesy for a child's birthday party?