Mighty Titan Overdraft will crumble!

A question about : Mighty Titan Overdraft will crumble!

Hello

I have been browsing and hanging out on this forum a lot of late.

I wondered if I could use some of the browsing time to do something that would actually change my situation! So hence am starting a diary.

About me: live in god's own county (Yorkshire, obvs). 33. Live with boyfriend. Do arty things for a living. Am both good and bad with money eg really good at not shopping, not so great at not just going '!!!! it' and having a takeaway. Have dug out of debts and am pretty good at living on a shoestring (see 'things I do for a living ).

Why am I starting this diary?

- I have an overdraft of Ј1940 that I live in, apart from a Ј500 tax rebate that's currently sat there reducing the amount of interest I pay. I have not really been thinking about reducing this, until a) the bank will start to charge me Ј6 ON TOP of the interest I pay (which is 19.89% and b) I figured out with the amount I can afford to rpay it will take me 3 years . The overdraft comes from not earning enough money, essentially, not really looking to increase income and not having a budget. It's a hangover from studying that I have not shifted.

- It's becoming apparent that if I do want to have kids I'd better get things sorted sharpish. I actually have a decent standard of living, but I do worry about money. Recently I started a business and we had no capital and took no loans...so no money coming in either. Things have improved slightly now but I grew up with young and skint parents, and I would really rather not have that experience for my own children and family.

My boyfriend and I are still a bit separate on our finances. We have known each other for 16 years, been seeing each other for almost 5 years and lived together for four out of those five. I handle household bills. He gets stressed out by talking about bills or talking to utility companies.

In addition to the overdraft I owe Ј180 in self employed NI class 2 contributions (direct debit now set up so I don't get behind) and approx Ј16k on an income linked student loan. I'm not too bothered about the loan. The other week I paid my first PAYE contribution towards it - a whole Ј2.

The plan:

I have Ј500 from a tax refund sat in my account that I have earmarked towards total overdraft destruction. or at least, total overdraft reduction of at least Ј500. I haven't already reduced it because I'm wary that the bank will rescore me and just withdraw the entire facility.

I will be guaranteed Ј741 after tax each month until October which is enough to live on if I'm careful. I'll need to do a budget just to double check this is indeed the case.

Any self employed income I get above the Ј741 I can use towards overdraft reduction...however..

I also have to cover a short holiday (staying at family place, self catering for 5 days) AND work trip to Edinburgh (seeing shows and train fare, should be able to source free accommodation) in August.

I have the grand total of Ј87 put aside for my holiday so far.... This will cover the accommodation (Ј50) and food/booze contribution I would say. I have nothing towards Edinburgh (nothing in business can put towards it so will have to come out of my self employment). Damn. I was really pleased with my holiday fund saving until I wrote that down.

I feel a spreadsheet coming on.

Best answers:

• Obviously starting this thread was some kind of temptation, as my laptop gave up the ghost yesterday. An entire day wasted trying madly to fix it, then trying to figure out best options for replacement.
  Pretty much wiped out my tax refund by spending Ј389 on a new laptop. It's essential though, I can't work without it. Even more gutting is that my previous laptop was a mac and the new one is a pc build, so that's going to be a whole load of fun with software replacement, moving over mail accounts, multiple shared calendars, learning a new operating system. Plus of course retrieving the data. Most of my work stuff is on dropbox thank goodness, my music is on itunes, my contacts are backed up. I would have preferred to stay with a mac but I can't justify the cost.
  I really just want to cry. I know that's ridiculous but all I can think about is not having that money to reduce the overdraft, having to use a machine I don't really want, the time it's going to take to move everything over.
  I even applied for an argos card so I could spread the cost over 6 months and not have to see it all go in one big lump didn't qualify for it. Not sure what that's about, unless the self employment is sticking a big black mark against me. According to my credit reports on experian and noddle i have an ok rating. But do have bad rating from a few years ago so that might be it.
  And I don't care how money saving it's not, I'm going to go and sit in the local cafe and have a coffee and cake while I try and catch up with everything I didn't get done yesterday
  I should be pleased, it's a new computer and I made sure I got a well reviewed, robust one with good performance for cost (lenovo). And I was able to get it with the tax refund, and I can claim as capital allowance for business. I was sensible and didn't accept my Mum's offer of lending me additional money to get a mac. I was going to need to buy a new computer anyway, but was planning more in 6 months than now.
  I'm still really upset about it though!
• Rethink:
  no, i am not going to the cafe dammit. I'll just make myself a sweet coffee and sit in the garden...
• Happy shiney new diary
  Keep posting!
• Hah. That lasted didn't it?
  So, seeing as I already have a diary, may as well keep within this one.
  So the focus of this diary may change slightly...at least, I have a different reason for the goal.
  Before Christmas my Mum and Dad offered to put up a deposit for a house for me and my partner. To be honest, I had always written this off as an option. We are both self employed and low earning, and I couldn't see how we'd ever get close. I also felt that we prioritised other things above saving for a deposit, and that was fine.
  However, with this option we started to really think about it. My partner's Dad is also able to offer towards the deposit. With both our parent's support, it suddenly started to look feasible.
  I have done some initial research and realised that it might be possible for a) us to be offered a mortgage and b) for it to be affordable. I am NOT interested in getting into a precarious financial position purely to service living beyond our means! In fact when I looked at an example repayment on a 20 year mortgage, based on what I believe we'd be able to borrow (about Ј70k), we would be paying less than we do now in rent. Even with the additional costs, insurances, assurances, maintenance we'd still be paying the same as we do in rent.
  HOWEVER we currently have a stumbling block - I'm the employed one and my business brings in half of what my self employed partner does. Plus, I still have exactly the same debts as I did at the beginning of this diary.
  I have told my parents that it's an amazing and generous offer, but that we probably need a year to get ourselves sorted. I have been having fun looking at auction properties (I come from a long line of house renovators, self builders and DIYers. I think it's a syndrome. I'd rather take on the interesting blank canvas with potential than the well presented teeny tiny house )
  So I need to up my income, which means getting more contracts in my business, and I need to pay back my overdraft of Ј1940.00. And save Ј1000 odd for solicitors fees. And see the mortgage broker who's been recommended to me to figure out my options.
  Problem is, my take home pay this month and for at least the next six months is Ј640.00 and my partner's income doesn't look much more than that at the moment, but he tends to pick up work at quite short notice. It does make budgeting challenging. I need to do a joint SOA and for this I will use his income from the last tax year.
  Although I often run out of money, I have managed not to increase my debt any further during the past year and a half of reduced income and I think although we can't do 'monthly budget' quite like you would with a regular income, I think we are good at living in our means. I will see once I start costing all this!
  So the first steps to figuring all this out is
  - SOA reflecting current position
  - get details and make appointment with broker, so I know what I'm working towards
  - update company forecast to see what's viable to pay ourselves over next 11 months
  - upping income - I am slightly reluctant to take on additional part time work as I spent 4 months working 6 or 7 days a week earlier this year and I think it's counter productive, ie at some point something is going to suffer. Quality of work or my health usually. My ideal would probably be an evening a week (I waitressed my way through university so have lots of experience). This could bring in an extra Ј150 a month.
  -Looking at spending. I have already reduced a lot of outgoing, but there is one I'm considering that's a fatal weakness of mine...takeout coffee! I don't really buy clothes (went mental in Boxing Day sales and spent Ј80 of Christmas money on a coat, a jumper and a scarf) but I have a takeout coffee I estimate twice a week. I am trying to figure out what to do with it. I need pretty immediate and tangible rewards, and denial does not really cut it with me. I am thinking a glass jar and everytime I don't have a coffee I put the money in it? So I see the money adding up and it's like a reward for not having it. Plus I could always have my free Waitrose coffee..
  So that's for starters. Onwards.
• Not exactly the most regular diary keeper am I? Always seem to just manage a week and then the idea of living like this for ever defeats me.
  So, just last week I have got a second waitressing job. I'm paying 20% tax because it's second income. To be honest, that's not so bad. I do a tax return and often the overpaid tax comes back. It's my tax savings!
  It's been tricky this last month to pay the bills, we got in arrears with our rent and mostly because I had a moment of f-it and took my focus off managing my money. Horrible, I bought the arrears up to date but not before seriously thinking we were to be evicted. Apparently that's not the case. But I was really annoyed with myself for letting it get so far. Also does not help with getting a mortgage.
  So I started looking for what would work budgeting wise, the aim being to stay within our means for four months. I've seen others recommend ynab, so I checked it out and really like it. One of my issues is that our income fluctuates month by month, and we do the classic living like kings/paupers. I need to do a budget every month as our income changes, so that changes the discretionary elements of the expenditure. Obv the bills don't change, but if I don't budget we will !!!! the whole lot away with the glee of having a positive bank balance.
  So I sat down last night and made a budget, and got boyfriend to join. Talking about money makes boyfriend really anxious, so I have to approach carefully. If I talk about specifics it's easier eg 'how much money is due to you this month' and 'do you think Ј40 will cover your petrol to x destination?'. He doesn't care how it fits together, give him a clear target.
  This was also the first time I have budgeted 'our' income. We have seperate current accounts and a joint bills account. The bills account has made my life a lot easier - I know how much we have to get there by the date the bills come out.
  I also felt a bit sick when I realised that boyfriend has an income gap for two months BUT I styled it out because if I panicked then he would too. So we just looked at this month, and I worked out we can actually do it. We're pretty good at living frugally, it's the living like kings that can throw us out. I will post this month's plan shortly, but the upshot is we cover everything and have Ј20 each to spend on whatever. This might seem a lot but it should cover entertainment, theatre, caf!s, clothes, trips, hobbies etc I don't like feeling too restricted so appreciate that small flexibility. It's quite possible I may not spend mine.
  Already we have a challenge because boyfriend accepted dinner invite with old friends, plus he has regular social. Regular social costs him Ј6 in drinks plus a takeaway (which he'll skip this week) which leaves Ј14 for dinner with friends. Tricky, we shall see if he sticks to it! I have some work away so that will be a challenge to not spend on food whilst working away all day. Boyfriend also has a gig later in the month he wants to attend. He has suggested selling his old CDs via music magpie, which gives him enough to see gig. I think that's fair enough.
  The other challenge is that his car needs an mot and a lot of work. Plus insurance is up for renewal. Last year we paid in lump sum, can't do that this year. We may be at scrapping car, however he will need for work this summer so we will need to find a replacement by then. I'm going to cross that hurdle next but one step at a time!
• Also forgot to mention spoke to a mortgage broker, will talk to another for comparison and see which we prefer. The one I spoke to chatted for 40mins - I was trying to wind up the conversation being mindful of his time but he kept talking! He would charge a fee of Ј425, Ј125 up front.
  Budget thing is going well, which is what I came by to update. Boyfriend is getting it. He even proposed that we make a list so he can do a cheap aldi shop, Ј40 for week plus Ј10 market purchases. I still had to nudge for meal plan but we have
  Home made fried chicken, potatoes and veg (one half a chicken)
  Chicken noodle soup (other half chicken plus stock from carcass)
  Dal & homemade chapati
  Chilli salad bowls (hairy dieters recipe, boyfriends favourite thing ever)
  Spaghetti bolognese (or penne bolognese, using other half pack of mince)
  Lentils and sausages (using green lentils)
  He will be at home next week so is buying coldcuts and tinned soup for lunches. I'm the cook, if it takes more than 3mins prep he's not interested. I'm doing salads, couscous, frittata for lunches.
  I felt really happy last night, we're really tackling this together. We're close but often have seperate friends/interests, so it's nice being a team.
  I have also agreed that he can spend Ј30 this week and I will spend Ј10. He's not a big spender but this week happens to have two unusual social occasions in.
• I spoke too soon... Boyfriend just found out he needs to pay for accommodation for his next job. He'll be able to claim it back but we won't see that money for 40 days. And seeing as the job is over the Easter weekend, kinda would have been good for the employer to tell us that sooner. Found somewhere for Ј25 a night. Lord knows what it will be like. We got cash back too so might see that at some point. Just have to find Ј100 extra in the income/ reduce the expenditure by Ј100. Good times. Good times.
  Oth, stayed within budget on groceries. Ј38 for the week.
  Eta his meal out turned into takeaway and his mates bought him beers. So saved on that at least.
• Further budget challenges: water direct debit bounced. We pay over 10 months so I got taken a bit by surprise by DD date. It's in the budget but for the end of the month not the beginning. I don't get paid until 15th so will need to persuade boyfriend to put more into joint account. He's pretty much paid all the bills this month so I am worried he'll get despondent! He has started a little character called 'the budget'. He is on board but I think is happier if I steer on finances. I also think he likes to have me make the decisions so he can moan about having to stick to a budget, but will stick to it. For example last night (his final social obligation) he chose to drive and stick to diet coke so he could save money. Funny sausage.
  Likewise we are starting to view houses and he's saying 'you make the final call, because you have stronger feelings on the house. I just want to live with YOU'. I am thinking it's the biggest financial commitment we will ever make, maybe he MIGHT want some input. He does have some clear opinions which I am taking in to account, I just think he's uncomfortable with expressing them maybe? Anyway he really, really likes cellars or basements. He also thinks three bedrooms would be better so we can let one (we use one as a study). I agree with this. He has some areas which he will not consider at all. I also have a couple, although they don't completely match up. The problem is for our budget if we want 3 beds I think we are looking at ones that need work or are further out. Or might not also have a basement as we are going toward semi detacheds with our budget & requirements. He's also interested in a project, as am I, but I'm not sure he really gets how much it costs to get people to do the work or what a conversion entails.
  Also need to check Santander account alerts for joint - could swear I set up alerts for this very occurrence but apparently not, just a letter...so annoying as the whole point of this budgeting exercise is to avoid this situation and stop bounced payments on our credit record.
  Discoveries re my own money emotions... I treat with small value food items. I feel trapped when there's not enough flexibility. I like figuring out how me and boyfriend work with money, I'm understanding him better if not myself. I am a !!!!!!!!!! - other people feel bad about accepting a coffee/meal/drink from someone, I have no problem with it!
  Mixed emotions about how much my parents help/ are helping me out. I'm self sufficient but it has been a very long time since I was able to buy them lunch. They are giving me money for a deposit. They wouldn't give me what they can't afford. I am a 33 year old woman though, it is a bit daft.
• Woah fr33loader is a banned word on here?
• So for clarity, here's THIS MONTHS SOA. Every month is different and so I have given up trying to do a representative one. This is taken from my YNAB budget...It's not showing how much interest we pay - this isn't a minimum payment but basically this month we paid Ј45 on boyfriend's overdraft and will pay approx Ј30 on mine, which is where the surplus appears. I will put some comments in red
  Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet
  Household Information
  Number of adults in household........... 2
  Number of children in household......... 0
  Number of cars owned.................... 1
  Monthly Income Details
  Monthly income after tax................ 819.3 There could be more to come, not sure how much but in region of Ј60, not counting until I see it
  Partners monthly income after tax....... 501.05 This can range from Ј200 to Ј2000!
  Benefits................................ 0
  Other income............................ 120 Boyfriend's dad gives him money every month. I'd like to save this but this month, needs must
  Total monthly income.................... 1440.35
  Monthly Expense Details
  Mortgage................................ 0
  Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
  Rent.................................... 450
  Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
  Council tax............................. 72 think this is over 12 months
  Electricity............................. 22
  Gas..................................... 28
  Oil..................................... 0
  Water rates............................. 25.9
  Telephone (land line)................... 12.5
  Mobile phone............................ 35 mine approx Ј17, boyfriend PAYG
  TV Licence.............................. 12.18
  Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0
  Internet Services....................... 12.5
  Groceries etc. ......................... 190
  Clothing................................ 0
  Petrol/diesel........................... 70
  Road tax................................ 0 expires end of may. Question as to whether we will have a car at that point. Cross that bridge next month.
  Car Insurance........................... 50 Not actually due, expires end of April, will have to go monthly payments so trying to get something in here
  Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 0 clearly something needed here but this month I can't make that happen
  Car parking............................. 10
  Other travel............................ 46 my bus pass
  Childcare/nursery....................... 0
  Other child related expenses............ 0
  Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 0
  Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
  Buildings insurance..................... 0
  Contents insurance...................... 0
  Life assurance ......................... 0
  Other insurance......................... 0
  Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 0
  Haircuts................................ 0
  Entertainment........................... 80 covers smokes, cafes, socialising, anything bought not groceries for the two of us
  Holiday................................. 0
  Emergency fund.......................... 0
  Halifax OD repayment..................... 10
  Natwest OD repayment.................... 10
  Charitable giving....................... 2
  Santander OD charges.................... 18
  Driving Lessons......................... 46.75 I'm really close, don't want to stop these now
  Amazon Prime............................ 9.99
  office 365 subscription................. 7.99 claim back as self employed expenses
  Account fees............................ 9
  Class 2 NICs............................ 21.6
  Total monthly expenses.................. 1251.41
  
  Assets
  Cash.................................... 0
  House value (Gross)..................... 0
  Shares and bonds........................ 50
  Car(s).................................. 300
  Other assets............................ 0
  Total Assets............................ 350
  
  No Secured nor Hire Purchase Debts
  Unsecured Debts
  Description....................Debt......Monthly.. .APR
  Natwest OD.....................1914......0.........19.8 as above costs approx Ј25-30 in interest every month
  Halifax OD.....................96.73.....0.........365 I know right? Big, big aim of this budget is to stop boyfriend using this to 'help us out'. It's like our own little unwanted payday loan
  NI debt boyfriend..............320.......90........0
  NI debt me.....................180.......15........0
  Total unsecured debts..........2510.73...105.......-
  
  Monthly Budget Summary
  Total monthly income.................... 1,440.35
  Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 1,251.41
  Available for debt repayments........... 188.94
  Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 105
  Amount left after debt repayments....... 83.94 actually about a tenner once interest comes out
  Personal Balance Sheet Summary
  Total assets (things you own)........... 350
  Total HP & Secured debt................. -0
  Total Unsecured debt.................... -2,510.73
  Net Assets.............................. -2,160.73
  Created using the SOA calculator at www.stoozing.com.
  Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using Firefox browser.
  I also have an income contigent student loan of Ј14000. To be honest in my head it's like graduate tax as will be deducted from wages through PAYE. Last year I made the income threshold for the first time and paid I think Ј60 in repayments. Happy to continue with it on that basis, it's not a priority debt to me.
  So my aims this month are:
  Stay out of ridiculous Halifax overdraft
  Break even
  Reserve Ј10 to 'pay back' ie remain in the account for each of our overdrafts. It's tight and car issue is looming: boyfriend needs for work in May, tax and MOT due end of April, not enough income in April to cover it. Looking in to lifts and borrowing a car.
  Oh and the Ј110 we had to find this month for accommodation is not included in above, it's being subtracted from available budget next month. 'available budget' currently -Ј1398.
  Music Mapgpie all packed up with a hopeful result of Ј45ish pounds to go to boyfriends account. Ј25 will go towards a gig he wants to go to, Ј20 we will put towards next month deficit! Maybe I should be putting it towards debt payments if I'm talking about being 'debt free' but there's enough gaps in our budget and I'd rather be not getting any further into debt at this point.
  We really don't have that much sellable stuff so wondering what else we can shift. Most of our clothes are second hand, we've got a few books but have already sold the ones we can get money for on amazon buy back. I'm considering a car boot but fear being slightly embarassed by how worthless our worldly possessions are! As before, I'm good at not spending money which means don't tend to have brands etc lying about. Will have a chat with boyfriend and see what he thinks.
• Today I am freaking out thinking about how to make the rest of April work. Plus I realised that doing a monthly budget as above is apparently not YNAB suitable, so I have just done one based on our income until I pay myself in 5 days and it's doable...but ...I get paid Ј794 and bills/ rent etc are Ј719
  I am obsessing and focusing so much on this I am letting my work go to pot. I am drifting with work and need to get back on it. if I don't do it, no-one else will do it. I get such stupid anxiety though, always comparing myself to other similar outfits and worrying about whether people think I'm doing a good job...probably because I just need to actually DO a good job...I am a perfectionist and procrastinate. Not a good combo.
  Went to see a house today that I think has real potential, made even more appealing by asking price being right at the low end of our budget. It seems insane to be looking at buying when we are so tight on the budget...on the other hand, our mortgage for a property like the one I saw today would be Ј150 lower than we currently pay in rent. It needs completely redecorating (clearly they had contracted the same worlds worst decorator used by our landlord). The bathroom suite is an alarming shade of blue. It needs a new boiler. But street is quiet with families, lots of house proud gardens, little bit further out than we are now but between two bus routes. Roof might need work and needs insulation. Been on the market a while so could make an offer..
  Boyfriend would need to see it before I start that line..
  OK. Enough thinking and wishing. Where am I at?
  - SOA reflecting current position DONE
  - get details and make appointment with broker, so I know what I'm working towards MADE CONTACT, APPT NEXT
  - update company forecast to see what's viable to pay ourselves over next 11 months DONE
  - upping income - GOT SECOND JOB
  -Looking at spending. I have already reduced a lot of outgoing, but there is one I'm considering that's a fatal weakness of mine...takeout coffee! NOT OUT BUT DOWN..
  so next
  - make appt for boyfriend to see house
  - do our tax returns
  - make to do list for work
  - blitz inbox this eve
  - follow up with broker
• None of those todos done, ffs.
  Tricky evening - did a rec on the bank accounts and realised boyfriend was still spending mindlessly. Not big but as this month is super tight, enough to make us draw in the strings further... I am walking to work and have no spending money until I get paid. Lord I could do with a glass of wine. Boyfriend will have to make do on Ј6 for his regular social.
  I was a bit mad when we totted up his spending and he has spent Ј56 in the past week. This is Ј26 more than we agreed. But I realise he didn't really get the ynab category thing and was still just looking at his bank balance. He was very guilty about it. I'm not sure if him feeling guilty is the best emotion, so I tried to explain it's ok as we are just starting to use this method. There are consequnces that's all.
  This is hard. I have no money until weds. Thinking to go to my parents house tomorrow. Think I will have to walk, it's an hour and a half. I would really like a glass of wine tonight but no dice.
  We were looking at car options. He needs to insure and mot the car. We do not have the money to mot and insure the car. The car is worth Ј150 and will cost up to Ј500 to get through mot. But a replacement could cost us Ј800 which we don't have also. We will have to get insurance on monthly premiums. We could borrow money from his dad, and pay it back Ј200 a month. But that increases our monthly outgoings. I think the best thing is if car costs less than Ј500 to go through mot, stick with it for a bit longer.
  On the plus, scored free waitrose coffee and free hotel chocolat thing through O2. And seeing as we started the month with Ј145 in overdrafts, have cleared those PLUS found Ј100 for unexpected accomm. Which explains why we're skint but am determined not to be using that halifex od.
• Felt quite stressed on fri, built in lovely things yesterday which helped a lot. Some money trickled in as boyfriend got some money back re expenses, I got some cash tips. Ј38.20 which mostly just covered over spends on categories. Ah well!
  Finished second work on fri and realised due to cheaper bus fare had just enough to get small bottle of wine. Paid for it in cash with rest on card. That's how much I wanted a glass. Went and joined boyfriend and friends. Good night for Ј2
  Lovely family day on Saturday. Walks and good food. Enthused about budgeting system, think mum felt bad for us which not my intention. I am glad to be able to put enough in the budget not to walk there & back to work (hr each way).
  Second job last night so busy I had sweat running off my brow as serving people. Makes me slightly regretful we pool tips as I made at least Ј70 off my tables tonight. One table tipped Ј7 on a Ј35 bill, another Ј20 on a Ј110 bill. But hey it's a team effort I suppose. Still I know they tipped highly mostly cos I'm awesome
• Welcome pay week. This week I am going to:
  Phone broker
  Arrange second viewing
  Meditate once a day for 10mins
  Contact of letting agents re maintenance issue (story for another time)
  Make scary work calls
  Reply to tagged emails
  Half hour on 2013/14 tax rtn every day
  Send card to sister
• Well I have been effective the past few days:
  Phone broker DONE
  Arrange second viewing DONE
  Meditate once a day for 10mins
  Contact of letting agents re maintenance issue (story for another time) DONE
  Make scary work calls DONE
  Reply to tagged emails DONE
  Half hour on 2013/14 tax rtn every day DONE to date
  Send card to sister DONE
  Budget is looking OK. I can feel my resolve weaken as I look at how much of my pay will be whisked away in bill paying frenzy OTH, no worries re missed payments or having to transfer/ borrow money from one account to the other.
  So why am I feeling so down?
  Partly is because I looked at our income for the last two years last night as part of our prep re mortgage app. We have basically lived on Ј20k a year between us for the past two years. That's how much profit we made from self employment. We turned over approx Ј24k, but allowable expenses are reasonably high especially for boyfriend as he travels a lot with work.
  If we were not living together, we would be eligible for working tax credit with that level of income. As a co-habiting couple, no deals.
  So on one hand I think we can hold our heads up that we have not increased our debt in that time, and most of the time don't feel deprived. we don't have fancy clothes, car, holidays, food, house....but we don't need them. I often lie in bed with my boyfriend and think about how happy I am to be there with him. It's a story for another time but I haven't always had such a happy time in my relationships.
  On the other hand, we also don't have any assets, insurance, emergency fund, pensions. And it's OK being skint now but being skint when you're older is not where I want to be. I could ditch it all and go get a well paying job. And yet. And yet. I'm not ready to walk away from what I've started!
  Seeing the income like that also makes me more despondent about our chances of getting a mortgage. And am I insane to even be considering such a big commitment? OTH, we could go on paying someone else's mortgage. At least this way we get closer to owning a home of our own.
  Finally, went back to see house I like and boyfriend is not sure: it's too small. Apart from an initial impulse to shout something about WELCOME TO REALITY FRIEND, I could have seen this coming. He's been saying all the time 'I'm happy if you're happy'. Yeah right. I am not having that line being spun back at me in 5 years when he suddenly comes clean that he never wanted house/ commitments/ whatever else he went along with. There is no way I am going to ask him to put up that amount of money and have him be a passenger in this journey. The thing is, without having got close to a possible house he wouldn't have had this realisation. As soon as things started getting real he realised he did have an opinion.
  The problem is that I've been looking at the finance, arranging all the deals etc so I have a sense about what a good deal this house is. He needs to spend time looking at the market and seeing what's possible. I keep saying to him it's about priorities. On our budget, we have to compromise on area or space. We may be able to get a do-er upper but we'll still need to find money to actually do it up. I don't think he has a sense of how quickly buildings can get expensive when you start doing more than painting them. Or, we could get a higher paid job and look later. Or we could save and add to our deposit (unlikely given our current budget). I need to let him go through that decision making process. Which is annoying, I'd happily make that house a home and I'm not living in the ones he's sent me over so far but I've been here before with him. I must have had this point in the back of my mind when I started moving forward with all the viewings so proactively, because I knew both he and I wouldn't really start to tackle the ramifications of buyign a house until we had it thrust in our faces!
• I had a bit of a despond at boyfriend last night, but we cheered ourselves up by playing computer games together. I have done a LOT of cooking since we started this plan - and I wasn't exactly a slouch before in that department. So last night was persian chicken and saffron pilau rice. i walked round the market until I found a smaller chicken for Ј3. One butcher tried to sell me a very similar sized sorry specimen for Ј5. err no. If you buy whole chickens you can joint and use the carcass for stock, which is exactly what I did. The rest of the ingredients were store cupboard, leftovers for my lunch. Oh apart from big bunches of fresh dill and mint, 75p. I try to grow both in my garden, dill's an annual so need to get that planted and I must be the only person in the UK who can't grow mint in the quantities I would like. It's invasive they say. Not invasive enough for the rate I'd eat it at.
  We have also discovered that happy shopper chocolate is perfectly acceptable, which is a winner when it's between 30p to 50p for a big bar. I had half a pot of creme fraiche left over from a planned meal at the weekend. If you whip the creme fraiche, add a spoon of soft brown sugar, a touch of instant coffee disolved in water then melt approx half to two thirds of the choc bar, cool slightly then beat in to the cream....you have a very close approximation of one of those gu chocolate pots. Really delicious.
  So today I am a bit annoyed because I spent Ј2.92 out of pride on a secret gift thing (also used something that had been sat in my cupboard for years so it was to bump up the value to the Ј5). If I had listened to my reminder last night and not been in a despond, I would have baked some homemade cakes instead of buying fancy ones. And 79p on some cutprice pain au chocolat because I got up too late to sort breakfast. Ugh. This keeping to budget is relentless with the forward planning requirements. I hate forward planning. OK I don't hate forward planning but it feels a bit onerous at times.
• FFS. Set up a Santander 123 account to manage bills. Set up a text alert so that if it falls below a certain amount I know. Discover end of last month, couple of bills started up again and meant it had taken account into overdraft. I don't get a text about this until 5 DAYS after event has happened, by which time another TWO have gone out costing us Ј5 each. We were really tight last month in money but could have transferred over to cover these if I seen them in time. I didn't check online because I have the alert set up all sensible like. In total this will cost us Ј85.. half our food budget for the month, more than our council tax. I hate them, hate them, hate them.
  I equally hate natwest but if I go over my agreed limit on that account, I get a text on the day so I can something to avoid the charge.
  I am going to phone and ask if there's any leeway for reducing some of the charges due to not actually knowing about it and having expected a text. As soon as we got the alerts, we sorted to cover the unauthorised overdraft.
  Of course this does any mortgage application a world of good. Time to shelve this idea for now?
  FFS
  Hate
  Hate
  Hate
  em