Marriage preparation

A question about : Marriage preparation

How did you feel before marriage?

Best answers:

• Zen calm. To my family's relief & mild shock.
  We'd been a couple without benefit of clergy for quite a while, so there wasn't much call for "am I doing the right thing", more a sort of "heh. Paperworked." along with the "how are so & so doing with the logistics?".
  With hindsight I should have gone more bridezilla on them so they could have gone through all the motions they felt appropriate but hen night, angst ridden tears, frock furore (well, OK I did do that a little bit)? Not our style. If the folks hadn't wanted a big family bash (& it *was* good to see so many kinsfolk all at once, even if I only got to see them for about 90 seconds each) we could have got away with just the registry office.
  If you are feeling terrified, sneak off, have a hot chocolate & figure out Why. Wrong person? place? time? Hairraising logistics? Plain mad costs? The idea of being related even by marriage to some family member you could happily shove off Beachy Head? Your family? Their family?
  As pretty much up until "I do" you can always say "Won't" & if it's all feeling gruesome now, the sooner you figure why & put everything on pause or stop the better.
  Hoping this helps clarify your thinking?!
• anyone else think this could be a weird spamming build uP?
• I honestly had second thoughts but by this time the wedding was booked and everything was in place.
• Nervous because of all the attention, plus the build up of pressure from a few family-zillas. But it was the best day ever
• Neither of us had any nerves at all. Odd really, because neither of us like being the centre of attention.
  I was dragged out of my slumbers by my best man about an hour before the ceremony, dressed, and driven to the church.
• Oh no, is it Friday? 7th March?10.03? S..t, I knew I was supposed to be somewhere at 9.30. Do you think she will still be waiting? I knew I was too relaxed for my own good.
• Night before I was totally chilled everything was done and I spent the evening with my friends and family watching Big Bang Theory.
  Next morning was fine all morning until the moment my cars were 30 minutes late! That made me nervous as I hate being late for anything.
  In the car I was hold my mums hand and swigging water like a mad person and even told the photographer (a friend of ours) that if he took one more photo I would brake the camera.
  Got to the venue was met by the minister first thing I asked was "is he here" she said yet my response "right lets go" after that I was just fine
• Excited and very loved up
• Excited. Maybe a little bit nervous. We married 5 months after meeting so there wasn't months or years of getting nervous about it
• I was fine on the morning while I was whizzing around making sure everything was sorted, writing my speech and so on - but there was 5 minutes where I was at a loose end and suddenly I started to feel the pressure a bit...So I called my best men over, we had a chat and a laugh, then cracked on again.
• Extremely ill. I could not speak for 48hours prior to the ceremony lol.
  Everything went well apart from the car catching fire.
  JCG
  xx
• I was totally fine until I got my dress on. From then on I became more and more a nervous wreck until I walk down the aisle. It wasn't the vows at all it was the prospect of being the centre of attention. In the end I loved it
• 25 years this year and 26 after we first met and moved in together, both on our second go.
  I come from the kind of family that takes over everything, and I resented it but could not think of a way around it. Then we found that a Tax hiccup took a big lump of our savings, so cancelled the Reg Office do a week before. Sitting in a local club with our best mates (best man and his OH) we told them. "Oh no, why?" - "Can't afford it."
  "Can't afford what? - Thought you had paid for the Office ceremony?"
  "Well yes, but can't afford a do." - "Then we will help! Contact the Reg Office and see if you can still do it."
  Which we did, but kept being put off until the Friday afternoon. Phoned around my boss and our mates, who confessed that they had bought and brewed wine & beer in anticipation some weeks ago. We bought loads of food, spent hours putting it together and crashed. Got up, phoned the family to tell them. Silence, then: "Oh no, can't come, we are too busy."
  Cracked on, the only family there was my wife's: son, daughter, Fil & Mil. Lots and lots of very good friends, none of my family. It went beautifully, we had a great party that night at our house, tried to invite my family but they were still "too busy".
  By 3:30 am I was trying to get everyone out. All food and drink gone, I was letting them out of the door and some were trying to get back into the windows.
  I think, because of the way this happened and the short notice, we simply had no time to be nervous. We just did it. New wife crashed, I stayed up to clean up the mess, which I did not at all resent because it had all been so spontaneously good.
  Next morning she and I came down. She took one look, realised I had cleaned up and said "He would never have..." (meaning her ex) and I said, "And neither would she." (meaning my ex) That's how we started and 25 years later we are probably more in love than ever, I have a family I never thought I would have: great son and daughter, 4 smashing grandchildren. We moved away eventually and the kids followed. I do not miss my own relatives one bit, since that day I have been persona non grata with them, and I could care less.
  The thing to remember about family and weddings, no matter how close you may be, is that it it is YOUR day - the two of you. You will, hopefully, have a family of your own, either "ready made" as mine was, or children of your own. The family you create between you, is really the one that matters.
• Having gone through 2 weddings I was calmer in the months before the first than the second (failure first time gave me more reasons to worry second time). But on the day both times I was so relaxed it was untrue. First time round I was ready far too early and felt that I really shouldn't be watching football on telly but honestly had nothing else to do. Second time I was waiting for nerves to kick in but it just didn't happen
• The first time I was a nervous wreck didn't want to go to the church, and troubled. We were seperated within 6 months.
  The second time I was chillness personified calm, confident - and I'm still married.
• Stood there in my wedding dress just before leaving for the church feeling sick as I knew it was a huge mistake. I couldn't back out as everybody had travelled to be there. I felt even worse next morning; trapped with a man I knew didn't love me.
  It lasted 2 years
• A feeling of foreboding the first time because I was too young, and knew deep down I was marrying the wrong man.
  30 years on, two kids, and then a divorce proved me right!
  The second time I knew I was marrying the right man, I was older and
  wiser, realised that the wedding itself is trivia and not worth getting stressed over, and had a calm and happy wedding day.
  Lin