A question about : I'm a spendaholic :(
Hi there, first of all, here's a poem I wrote about my spending...
My name is ScattyScot and I'm a spendaholic,
It's something I've been wanting to confess,
I have a tendency to spend beyond my means,
Which has left me in a little bit of a mess.
Although I don't spend lavishly,
No TV's, fancy holidays or cars,
I like the odd treat or to treat others,
I just sometimes go a little too far.
I don't regret any time,
That I've said I'll get this.
I had some amazing memories,
Of times I wouldn't have missed.
I always manage to justify to myself,
Every penny I spend I should not.
And I have nothing really to show for my debt,
Just a lot of rubbish I shouldn't have bought!
I just need to learn,
How to control the urges.
To only spend what I need to,
And to stop having splurges!
I don't have a mortgage, in fact I'm lodging with a friend. I have justified spending as finding myself after a hard break up but all I've found is myself in debt and miserable. I have a couple of loans and three credit cards and don't know really where to begin to start sorting myself out properly and permanently. I only have myself to blame! 
Best answers:
- Hi,
I used to be exactly like you for spending. I'm guessing you don't budget at all either. I overspent from the age of 19 to my early 40s when I decided to take myself in hand & we've now been debt-free since 2011. The key is budgeting, something I'll freely admit I thought of as something for boring kill-joy old fuddy-duddies!! I now completely LOVE budgeting & my new greener lifestyle & as I've said before, there is simply no bag of tat I could come home with now that could make me feel as good as being in control of my money does.
There is no situation in life that is improved by being in debt. Whatever money you have coming in from wages, etc, that's your money. There isn't any more. When you put purchases on a loan, card or overdraft, you're spending somebody else's money. If you are having to do that, instead of using your own money, you obviously don't have the spare funds to buy whatever it is so need to be saying 'no' or saving for it. I say this not in judgement, as I've been exactly the same & my partner & I owed around 30k at its worst.
If you're serious about getting rid of this debt, you need to start making different choices right away. Regular good choices become regular good habits & as you start to see the debt coming down, it just becomes more & more motivating. Every spare Ј1 you can free up (or not waste) can be thrown at your debts. Don't leave it as long as I did.
F x - Spot on advice from Foxgloves.
Too many people make themselves poor completely unnecessarily while trying to appear wealthy. - As for as spending money on other people, I never done that for recognition. I've never been a give to receive person. I think I just need to stop arguing when other people offer to pay!
I know in principle what I need to do but it's the practical that I'm not sure about. Do I try and consolidate again after I did earlier in the year then run up more debt? Would I even be considered for consolidation etc? There's some things I can try to do in the meantime like cancel the gym membership, AA membership as I get breakdown cover with my bank, move some of the big things from storage into my friends garage to downsize my storage needs etc. - All of the above and more. Treats and luxuries are a no no until the debt is corrected, there will be plenty of time to buy fancy stuff when you are debt free.
Look at everything you spend on, food, utilities, travel and see where you can make changes, some of these might be minor, others might be radical. - New last verse to the poem....
So time to reign it in,
Which means I'll have to say no a lot.
Time to budget properly,
And stop spending money I haven't got! - Hi ScattyScott,
Welcome to the DFW board and well done on addressing your spending habits.
Just a few things I believe will help others to advise you:
How long are you intending to lodge with friend? Is it a long term arrangement or is housing a priority for you? Also I think if you post a SOA then we will have a little more information to give you relevant support going forward.
Here's the link if it helps, https://www.stoozing.com/calculator/soa.php
Good luck
DB
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