A question about : help i'm in bits
Help Were In Bits Here! this link will help explain better I hope!
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/...html?t=1098729
Well it's parents day tommorow (Saturday). As you may know I cant go but I will be going to the passing out parade at the end of his training.
The problem now is I have sooo been looking forward to my son coming home for the weekend. He was told at the beginning of the week he would be traveling home on Saturday missing the parade because of the distance he has to go and the fact that we live so far.
My 12 years old daughter has cancelled an invite to a birthday party so she can collect her brother from the airport. He was asked by the army if he prefered a 17 hour train journey then 1 hour bus and 3 hours ferry of the palne. Of course he said the plane.
In the middle of this week he ws then told he was travelling home on sunday. Great .We all thought ,
We arranged a family get together, well me my daughter and my older son who lives 6 miles away. My daughter is a mess just now home sick for her brother.
My son has just rang me very upset and angry. The caring army
have now booked him to come home on Monday. So he wont be here for the weekend at all.
He was told like all his troop they will be home Saturday to the sunday a week later. Not my son who is deparete to come home. He will be home Monday to Friday. I will be at work and wont get to see him much. My daughter and myself are very upset. I have tried to ring his WELFARE OFFICER and all I get is an answering machine. I ask you where is the support for families.
The excuse he has been given is they cant book flight for Sunday. Guess what I have just checked and yes he could travel Southamoton to Glasgow Then Glasgow to Stornoway on Sunday.
Am I being unreasonable? MY son has been told it has taken 3 people 5 days to book his flight and I could have done it in 10 minutes.
I am now wondering if I have done the right thing letting him go in the army I feel like they are totally useless and not there for my family at all.
I am sorry if I am waffling but I cant get anyone to talk to me from the camp at the moment and I am sat here in tears knowing I have to tell my daughter yet again her brother wont be home as I promised and also knowing my son is at camp very upset too. What can I do?
Am I being silly becuse I miss him or are they just useless? sorry if I offend anyone bit this feels like a disaster and he has only just started his training which he loves.
Any ideas?
Best answers:
- sorry that his plans haven't quite happened as expected - it's a shame when hopes are built up then dashed so quickly
the way I would look at it is.....he is coming home (although a bit later than expected) but....he is coming home - Lou, I couldn't get your link to work. It's too late now but maybe next time when you hear what dates your son is coming home you could email whoever some suggested flight details. Often at work I buy my own flight then claim it back because I always get better (cheaper and more appropriate times) than any booked by our appointed travel agents.
- Thanks frugallass I should be gratefull I know some arn't so lucky it's just this is the 1st time he has been away and I have no family to talk to only my 19 year old son who is a typical stoppy lad and doesnt understand about how we miss his brother. And the army don't seem to want to answer the phone. I am dreading telling my daughter hes not home when she thought he would be. I suppose we have to get used to this. I'm just so mad they cant book flights they are meant to be organising a whole army and they cant organise one lad coming home.
It is harder than I thought it would be when my son is so far away and upset and I cant do anything or talk to the welfare officer there.
Maybe i wil feel better in the morning and maybe they
will answer the phone then - I have changed the link it should work now.
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/...html?t=1098729 - aw I really feel for you - there are some good support networks out there, but it's not always that easy to find them ! He'll be home soon x
- you need to point out to them that he is a minor and they have a duty of care.....he CANNOT be left alone in camp!!! FACT ok.......remember i was based there....i can even get you phone numbers of more important people....PM me if you need them ok
- Good luck little lou pink he ll be home soon .
I can t imagine how worried you must be.Just be sure in the knowledge that he s safe and will return to you. We as a country never seem to manage the easy things like book flights .Just enjoy him while hes home.
PP x - I feel awful saying this but that's forces life. They tell you they will be home one day day and then it gets cancelled until a later date. I've known my husband be a week after the original date. I'm afraid it's one of these things you're going to have to get used to. When they're deployed they don't usually know when r&r will be (if at all) or coming home dates until the last minute. Sorry!!
- agree with Donna. This is only training, what are you going to be like when he has to go to Iraq for 6 months?!
- I'm not judging; just making an observation.
And btw:
I joined the army at 16.5 and was on Op Granby (Gulf War round 1) at age 17. I had my 18th birthday out there!!!
If you feel strongly about your son getting time off, then by all means give the welfare office a call. But he is in training and the training is intense, schedules get changed, instructors have lives, he may be behind on something and needs remedial. I would personally not interfere, he will be home when he can.
Let him stand on his own 2 feet. - try this place https://www.yellowribbon.org.uk/index.php they are a suport group for familes of our heroes.
- I can undersstand how much you and your daughter miss him and it seems thoughtless when plans are changed, but as said previously he is making it back home.
When I was in basic I fell ill over our leave weekend, sometimes they give extra duties.
When my hubby is deployed I haven't told our kids when he is coming back because we have seen others delayed by days or a week or diverted elsewhere. Once you know they are on their way home then tell people. Or just take them out, I have told mine little white lies to get to the airport but the surprise on their faces is worth it and his sometimes I have given the impression we can't meet him also.
He is in the army now, things change even when you think they are set in stone, and yes we can search the internet for things but they have procedures to follow and possibly only a few selected companies they can make travel arrangements through.
And as far as family support goes I am an army wife and it differs for us from unit to unit some good and some not so. It maybe easier when he gets to his first working unit, they won't have so much of a big turn over of people and will get to know your son over a longer period of time.
Try not to worry and enjoy it when he comes home
all the best - A couple of points...
If it ever got out that his mother was ringing up about him coming home, he would be in for an extreme amount of "banter"...leave him alone...he is an adult now...
Get used to disappointment..it is part of forces life, sadly...
I'm sorry if this comes across as harsh, but it's only my 0.02p
And please take note of the first point!!!!!!!!!
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