Fathers Day

A question about : Fathers Day

OK, I'll try to keep this short.......

My partner discovered religion about 3 years ago (after previously being quite anti) She talked me into going with her a few times, but my feelings remain the same, so after quite a bit of arguing (and a resultant quite rough patch) we both accepted the others viewpoint, so she goes on a sunday and to a church group one evening a week.

She also takes the kids to church on a Sunday which I am not keen on, but accept. The kids really enjoy it, mainly because its a very progressive modern church so its quite relaxed and the kids do their own thing and get bribed given sweets, cakes and stuff.

Now, we have got into a routine where I just accept that as I don't want to go on Sunday, then we don't do things together as a family on Sunday.

Last year to my surprise and delight my Partner decided not to go to Church on Fathers Day as she accepted it was not my thing and wanted us to spend the day together which was lovely and I really valued.

Fast forward to this year and I was kind of hoping that the same might happen, but I've been told that the kids are putting on a play for the Dads at Church......and my kids have key roles in the play so they have to be there......and in turn the expectation is that I will be there, or what I really mean is I have been told how not fair it would be on the kids / what a bad person I am for not coming.

Net result is that I will go for the kids, but its put me in a grumpy mood all week and I've been made to feel like the bad guy in all of this for not been keen / willing.

Is it that wrong of me to have thought (expected) that my partner may have put me first on Fathers Day?????

Best answers:

• No good comes of religion.
• I have to say that I do think that you are being unreasonable. The kids will have wanted to be part of the church event and also want you to be there. What is your partner supposed to do? Tell them that they can't be in it? It won't be all day of a thing, go with good grace, enjoy your kids, and then do something later as a family.
• Have I missed something OP? Is there a reason why you can't go to church, see your kids in their limelight, then all go off and do family stuff together the rest of the day on Fathers Day?
• I think it is fair that you go as last year your partner didn't go for your sake, so for her sake (and the kids) you should go this year. Also as others have said your kids will have made friends there and I expect will be looking forward to being in the play with them.
  Its only a morning can't you arrange to got out straight after as a family for the rest of fathers day.
• I can see it from both sides, but would tend to agree with the above posters.
  Quote:
• Have to agree with poet123 - leave the religion thing out of it and you've got your kids who have been given key roles in a play to celebrate fathers day - doubtlessly they're proud and excited about what they're doing - and you're grumpy about going to see it...Sorry, but that sounds "unreasonable" to me.
• Ok so you don't want to go but surely the point is it is Fathers Day and your children and trying to do something they think will make you happy. So be a good Father and just go along and enjoy it, I'm assuming it's not going to last 8 hours or something so this is part of being a Father.
  There will be lots of Fathers out there who don't see their children who would give their right arm to be in your position.
  Plus being in a bad mood all weeks strikes me as rather childish to be honest...do you always stamp your feet when you don't get your own way?
  Fathers Day is about children showing their Dad how much they care...this is what your children are doing for you not sure you could ask for much more to be honest, wait until they are older and don't give you time of day then you might be able to moan a bit.
• If school did a nativity play and you were free to go along and see it, would you? If yes, then go; if no, then have a lie in. Either way, smile and enjoy them while they are this age. It sounds like you and your partner are raising lovely children between you.
• You don't have to preach the religion, but for the sake of the kids wanting to make you proud of them, you really should show a little enthusiasm. If it were a Christmas Pantomime and your children were playing lead roles, your heart would melt at their performance.
  Being a Fathers Day treat, makes it more personal than a Christmas panto, whereas the children are performing with a dedication to their Dad. At least pretend to be keen and allow them the chance to melt your heart with pride.
• I can see both sides of this. If I were in your position, I'd be a bit disappointed and annoyed. However, it sounds like this is something that your children want to do. This isn't just your partner's decision.
  I think it's reasonable that they be allowed to go. I think that's out of the equation. I'd consider the two options to be your non-attendance, which is perfectly reasonable as that's your choice, or you turning up but making it clear that it's a one-off and is for the kids.
  I'd think of it this way - it's Father's Day, which is a celebration of the bond between a father and his children. It's a two-way bond. Try not to think of it as your day, but a day about you and your children. Wouldn't it make their day to see that their father is sacrificing some of the day to support them because he's proud of what they're doing even if it's not something he agrees with?
  It's the little actions like that, that are the ones they'll remember when they think about their Dad.
• I agree with those who think it would be a shame for the OP not to go along and see the children in the play. It isn't all day and your children will love you for it.
• Are you serious OP?
  You don't believe in Church but do believe in Card Shop Fathers Day, and get in a strop over it?
  Grow up man.