Faithful Friend & Companion of 18 yrs gone

A question about : Faithful Friend & Companion of 18 yrs gone

My lovely cat Scampi, who has been a faithful companion & friend for the past 18yrs had to be PTS yesterday & I am devastated.

Life without him is so hard to imagine & we have been through such a lot together, some terrible tragedies & losses over the years. Now I feel so terribly alone as really he was all I had in life, most of my family & my closest friend having gone. So many people fail to understand that the pain that the loss of a treasured pet can bring is no different to the loss of a family member.

I just don't know what to do with myself without him. He was a little unwell for the past few months & got worse shortly before Christmas & although part of me knew he wouldn't be with me for many more years, the other part of me hoped for some miraculous recovery, hoping that love was enough to help make him fit & strong again. He pretty much lost the use of his back legs over the previous few days, caused by a blood clot.

I know there is no right way to do things, but how do people know when is the right time to get a new pet? On one level I desperately feel I need one straight away to give me something to live for, but in my mind I know I'd only be looking for a replacement Scamp & am not ready for a completely new personality. So I am lucid enough in my grief to know it wouldn't be fair to be rehoming a new cat until I know I can offer him or her the attention, patience & devotion that they will need. But life is so empty without a furry companion.

Best answers:

• I'm so sorry for your loss, Scampi was very lucky to have you as his owner for all these years x
• So sorry your little Scampi has gone. I understand exactly how you feel. I lost one of my gorgeous boys in April 2013, he was also 18 and it totally broke my heart as I had got him and his brother not long after setting up our first home with my husband. Luckily I still had his brother to give me lots of cuddles, and cuddles he did. After losing his brother he quite often would come up to be cradled in my arms like a baby while he purred happily away. Age caught up with him sadly this summer and I lost him aged 19 1/2. Whilst feeling blessed that I had both my boys for such a long time, I still felt robbed and that they'd gone too soon.
  Happiness returned in a different form to the family when we adopted a stray dog in September. He's young and mad and reminds me very much of my boys when they were little and the kids love him. Still miss my boys though and would love to have another hug with them.
  Much love to you xxxx
• Sorry to hear of your loss. We lost our beloved cat of 22 years in June 2013 at the time I couldn't contemplate getting a new pet. I began to change my feelings on this in the early summer of 2014 and we now have a beautiful 5 month old kitten. You will know yourself when you are ready xx
• I'm sorry for your loss.
  We lost Merlin in June 2012 after 18 years and were devastated. In September 2013 we adopted Tinka, but sadly he was hit by a car a year later. We only lasted 6 weeks without a cat before adopting Pixie. What I will say is they have all had completely different personalities.
  You are right to be wary about rushing to adopt another too soon as it will probably be very difficult to cope with that your new cat doesn't react to you the same way your old cat did.
• I am so sorry for your loss and I truly empathise. I am been through similar recently and I was beside myself. However, for Christmas, I made myself a scrap book of all my cat's pictures and made funny captions next to the pictures. So that we can remember the good times. He passed away suddenly on Remembrance Day.... of all days.
  I have a trinket box of his hairs and biscuits I found since he passed, I have kept his carry cage and placed his food bowls in there as well as the jumper I was wearing on the day he passed away. x
• So, so sorry to hear about the loss of Scampi. He was a lucky cat to have you, and I'm sure you feel lucky to have had him in your life too.
  There's no right or wrong thing to do, everyone's different. When my cat passed I said I was never having another, but it wasn't long til I was owned by another fur baby!
• So sorry big hugs xx
  Womble had to be PTS last January. I realised after a month that I hadn't spoken to anyone outside work /friends and felt stuck indoors.
  By March I started looking. And got really upset when one dog I liked got adopted. However by April I got little Fudge who is currently perched on a cushion with his bum as close to me as he can get.
  I would say you just have to do what's right for you. I still have a little cry over Womble All the time and wish he was here with Fudge.
  Good luck xx
• I'm so sorry for your loss. Our is 2 but I already worry about this time coming.
  A friend lost her cat who had been with her for a long time, through some very bad periods in her life, in April last year. She adopted a new cat about three months later. She just found the house wasn't the same without a cat. The main thing she talked about for a while was how different in personality her new cat was to her old cat.
  She loves the new cat to bits and it's getting easier over time, but it's good you're aware of your feelings and that sense that you can't replace what's lost. A new cat will be different, present different challenges but show affection in different ways and bring you joy and laughter in new ways. I think you'll have a sense when the time is right. x
• Dear Cattie
  I read your post last night but could not reply as I was just so upset for you. I don't know how to help you with your grief, just wish I could take your pain away, but of course I can't, just give you virtual ((((hugs))).
  I too had a cat who made almost 22 years and it broke my heart when I had to call the vet to come and end his life. That cat had stuck by me through thick and thin and in very sad times would just sit beside me to give support.
  Out there somewhere is a little cat looking for you and in time will find you. It is meant to be.
  Sending you love. Remember you are not alone, you have all us virtual friends. xx
• I'm so sorry to read your post, Cattie - but how priviledged you were to be loved by your puss for so long! Remember him with love - those memories will comfort you in time to come - and although no cat will ever take his place, you will find another cat who will fill the space that he has left in your heart xxx
• So sorry for your loss. My last dog was 18 when we lost her. She had been my best friend since I was 14.
  I don't think anyone but you will know when the time is right to get another pet.
  For a long time I felt that if I got another dog I would be being unfaithful to my dog. After a time that feeling was replaced with a longing for a dog. I knew that that the time was right to get another furbaby. I also remember feeling that I wanted a new dog right away because there was a massive hole in my heart. So there is a part of you that wants to go out right away and fill that hole because you want your baby back. But I'm glad I waited.
  Do whatever feels right.
• I'm so sorry that poor Scampi has gone and you are feeling such loss. When the first cat I had died my grief was intense, I dreamed of him and cried a lot, and I found that writing about him helped a lot. We didn't want another cat straight away as like so many others, it felt like we would have been replacing poor Becky Puss. which felt totally wrong. But a little homeless cat was found by a friend, it was being kept in a youth club and having a rather hard time. We said we weren't ready for another cat, but as she said, he had nowhere to go so we had him. Then shortly after other friends had a litter of kittens that the mother was unable to take care of so we had two of them.
  They were a delight and of course were totally different to our Becky Puss who we still missed but it felt good helping these particular babies who loved each other intensely. So then from three we moved on to many many more and we have lost many in the (approx) 40 years now we have been keeping cats. It still is very sad to lose one, and I swore that with the last lot I would not love them as I didn't want to be hurt anymore. But I've softened .... and accept that these ones who live with us now will have shorter lives than us humans as have all the others.
  Hugs, Cattie X
• So sorry for your loss.
  I had 2 rescue cats years ago, 1 was pts as she had cancer and her sister died a few months later of grief I think. She just seemed to lose her will to live after her sister went.
  A year later, I adopted 2 more kittens who are now 13. I felt guilty at the time but they were never replacements, just different cats needing a better life and lots of love.
  My mum has a 19 year old rescue cat who is not well and the end is very near now. We are both devastated as Lucy has been with mum since dad died and has been mum's faithful companion for the last 18 years.
• It's heart wrenching, I am so sorry for your loss.
• I'm sorry to hear you lost your cat OP, I think you should get another straight away. When one of mine went missing last year it really upset me. In ten years she only went out twice at night and the 2nd time she was never seen again. We think a fox got her.
  Anyway I got another from a rescue after a month, not to replace her as you cant but to offer another a loving home.He is the sweetest most loving cat ever and I cant believe someone got rid of him. What I'm saying is that you clearly can offer a good home and there are so many desperate for a home of their own. So go for it I say and get a male as I think they are more affectionate.
• I'm sorry for your loss, there's no pain like it. I think there's something to be said for getting a new pet straightaway because the house feels so empty without them. A new pet would also help to fill that gaping void, give you some companionship and give you something to focus on. I can also see why people like to have more than one pet so that they're never without when they lose one.
• Dear Cattie
  I have been thinking about you all day. I don't know your circumstances but, would you consider fostering cats for a local rescue? Not only would it give you companionship while each one was with you, but you would also meet many like minded people. And, perhaps in time, the right kittie would arrive. May be worth considering.
  Hope you are feeling a little better now. xx
• I just wanted to say sorry about the loss of scampi, there is never a 100% right time, but in your heart something will trigger and then your know,
  We had a cat when I was a child, I lost him when I was 18, he was 12 years old, ginger, although we did want a cat, the situation was never right as the dog we had wouldn't take to another cat.
  all my life I have been brought up with dogs, they take such a big part of your heart, each dog has had different personalities, yet each one has been loved for themselves, they've been with us through good times, My last dog was 8 when I had my daughter, and to be honest we wondered how he would take to her, I didn't need to worry, they became inseperable, the dog we have now, he's been our rock, as my dad is battling cancer, he's my little angel.
  maybe look at a cat rescue centre, my friend she lost her husband last yr in October, and she now has a kitten from the rspca, the kitten is a rock for her.
  God bless xxxx