Early child care options please?

A question about : Early child care options please?

At the risk of hijacking this post, I was wondering whether I could ask a few stupid questions?

I bought a house last year with my now-husband as step 1 of working towards having a baby. So of course we now have a large mortgage (theres no such thing as a small mortgage in Guernsey, and renting costs more than the mortgage). I am the main earner by far, my husband gets paid a pittance working at woolies - so there is no way I could give up work, and I don't want my hubbie to be a house husband and raise my kid. What are the child care options for when they are very young? Can they go to nursery or child care etc when they are just a month or 2 old? Would that mean I couldn't breast feed? (Or if I express could the baby have BOTH the bottle AND the natural way, or does the kid have to have the same all the time?)

Thanks for any info, I just can't find the information out that I need!

Best answers:

• I think they can go from about 6 months, when I had DD2 in 04 I had 6 months paid meternity leave I think its 9 months now, so you could take that if you don't think you could manage money wise whilst doing this do you have any spare money to put a bit by until you have your child?
  Good luck, they are worth everything xx
• Hi gemmaj,
  I have moved your post over to the families board where hopefully you will get more replies.
  Pink
  Hi, Martin’s asked me to post this in these circumstances: I’ve asked Board Guides to move threads if they’ll receive a better response elsewhere(please see this rule) so this post/thread has been moved to another board, where it should get more replies. If you have any questions about this policy please email abuse@moneysavingexpert.com.
• You might find a child minder might take your baby at an earlier age than a nursery.
• Hi I'm a childminder and this would be a good option for you as a childminder can offer you with a very young baby a more personal care and cater for yours and the childs needs . You will be able to express the breast milk and it be fed to the baby at the minders if that was your choice. The babies built up a good bond with the minder and its a real homely type care where they get used to being around othe young children ,though a maximum number is 3 children under 5 yrs.prices vary but you can look around and meet someone you feel comfortable with and has the same childcare ideas and values as you .
  hope this helps
  alison
• Childcare is expensive - will probably cost more than your husband earns, if he earns 'a pittance'. Also, there's no way of telling how you're going to feel until you have actually had the baby. I can't imagine any mother really wanting to leave their baby at such a young age and I think it's pretty selfish actually.
  Why wouldn't you want your husband to look after the baby anyway??
• Hiya, the nursery at my work will take babies from 3 months, I think that this is about the earliest that most will. Does your work not offer any sort of paid maternity leave? I don't know what the regulations are for this sort of thing on Guernsey.
• Hiya, I agree with scooby. I think a childminder is a very good option for parents with a young baby. We (I am one) can often be more flexible and supportive than private nurseries. Generally we are only allowed to look after 1 baby under 1 year old - you have to get special permission from OFSTED to care for more than one eg.twins.
  When you do start looking for childcare (probably whilst you are still pregnant) visit as many places as you can, several times if necessary.
  With a childminder try and have at least one visit whilst they are caring for children as this will give you a very good idea of what is on offer and whether it will suit you. Don't be afraid to ask for references, see inspection reports and don't forget gut instinct. You have to be able to get on well with the childminder as he/she will be an important person in your child's life.
  For private nurseries I would look carefully at the staffing of the baby room -some have a tendency to put the young, inexperienced, trainee staff in the baby room (I know this may cause uproar with some nursery workers out there -sorry!) I say this because I actually care for a baby and a toddler who's mums work in private day nurseries
  Another point - many childminders can offer continuous care ie. as your child grows up they can still continue to offer their services whilst your child goes to playgroup, state nursery, primary school and secondary school until your child is of an age where you are happy to let them stay at home alone.
  Hope this is of help, good luck
• Think it must vary but think I've seen one saying from 3 months, though this was before paid maternity leave went up to 6 months. You could express so the baby could have breast milk. Like others have said childcare is dear if you both work at least 16 hours a week you might get help with childcare costs from tax credits. Check here www.entitledto.com
  If you don't thaen you could see if your employer offered childcare vouchers via salary sacrifice scheme.
  How does your hubby feel about it. Would he be happy to stay at home with baby?
  When you do the figures if childcare is going to take all or most of hubbys wages what about him working part-time evenings/weekends when you are home.
• Me again, I just re-read your question gemmaj. With regards to the breast feeding you won't know the answer to that until you have a baby. Some women find it easy to express (my sister), some find it nigh on impossible (me). My sister was also lucky to have an understanding employer (Inland Revenue) who provided her with a private room and refridgeration facilities at work. Also all babies are different, when my sister went back to work it took me two weeks of feeding breast milk with a syringe before I could get my niece to have a bottle (breast is best!! she is still stubborn). Some will happily take both powdered and breast milk and others won't.
• Childcare does cost a huge amount, though. Not sure about where you live, but the average costs in the UK are (for a full-time place) about Ј7,000 per year.
• In the UK employers are supposed to give privacy and facilities for breast-feeding mums, but don't know what the law says in Guernsey.
  How does your husband feel about being a house-husband though? We have a few on the boards if you want to get their perspective on it.
  GOOD childcare is usually expensive! Wherever you are.
• Re Breastfeeding :
  Quote:
• Thanks for all the replies, its good to know what my options will be.
  My work will give me 20 weeks full pay (plus 10 weeks no pay if wanted) or a career break of up to 2.5 years with 10 weeks full pay but I couldn't afford that.
  I also get up to Ј107 per week for up to 18 weeks maternity benefit (I'm not sure if I can claim this while being paid, its all a bit complex!), and then Ј12.75 per week family allowance.
  None of the UK rights apply to me, but at least as I work for the local government "the States" I have a very understanding employer, which is great!
  I have not had a proper serious discussion with Chris and house-husbanding, but he has mentioned that he would happily do it. However, I think he has only viewed it as a holiday, not thought seriously about it.
  Chris does very little around the house (I encourage but its a slow process). He does almost no cleaning and no cooking - his cookery expertise stretches only to baked beans in the microwave. I am trying to convince him to try microwave scrambled egg, but no joy yet. He has also admitted that he is very nervous about handling a baby - supporting the head, not dropping it, etc, and I have not managed to reassure him about it. Finally, Chris' work is a social affair for him - all his friends work with him. He changed job and had to go back to his original job because he missed the socialising.
  To summarise, I think Chris would miss his mates and the social side of work, and also I think he would not be very good - or very interested - in keeping the house clean and cooking while I am at work.
  As if that wasn't enough, Chris and I were raised very differently. Chris was raised by the TV. I was almost denied TV. Chris was raised with the expectation that he would work in a shop. I was raised with my parents expecting alot more of me than shop work. I don't mean to criticise shop workers - that is just how I was raised, and in certain ways I am a bit of a snob because of it. I guess I am a bit worried that Chris will not encourage the kid the way that I would. We have discussed our differences, and Chris knows and agrees that our child will have a TV limit and will be doing more "traditional" pursuits (drawing etc etc etc) but he has always joked that when I am out and he is in charge it'll be TV, TV, TV ... I guess I am just worried that he will fall back on how he was raised.
  Phew, that is rather long and rather bearing my soul and my deepest fears, but I hope that explains why I don't think the option is for Chris to be house husband.
  I don't know how much support I will get from family - I think both sides will love to baby sit but my mother has already made it clear (albeit indirectly) that she would not be a part-time-carer while I work. Not that my parents have never surprised me
  Edited to add - I have been saving Ј100 per month towards my baby fund for several years now. Its not much, but with the mortgage thats all I can afford at the mo. On the plus side it won't be touched for ANYTHING other than the baby!
• Gemma, I have recently gone back to work following 9 months maternity leave and my husband has left work to stay at home and look after our baby. I did have some doubts about how this would work but am now very glad we have taken this option.
  Benefits are:
  1. I can ring my hubbie any time I like to find out how baby is doing
  2. We can live to a good standard on my salary.
  3. There was no hassle trying to find a suitable nursery/childminder.
  4. We can agree how baby will be treated/brought up. You can have a lot more frank conversations with your hubbie than you can with a childminder/nursery if you're not happy with something.
  5. Baby gets lots of one to one individual parental attention.
  It has been hard to come back to work, even though it's what we always planned, but it has helped to know that Baby is with someone he knows, rather than relative strangers. Husband has missed the social side of work, but still regularly plays sport. We are also lucky in that there is a Dads and Babies group nearby, and an excellent children's centre, where hubbie and baby do structured courses - sing and sign, baby massage.
  Your husband will have to learn how to do housework, cook etc anyway, because once that baby arrives you won't have the time/energy to do anything other than looking after the baby for the first three months - it's the best thing you'll ever do though!
  HTH
• There has been some really good advice on this thread so far, but here is my penny's worth...
  There are lots of advantages to having your husband at home with your baby, as well as those already posted by others. My husband works shifts, so is at home usually two days a week with our children (aged 2yrs, and six months). Those are the best days for me as I do not have to worry about getting the children ready to take to childcare, getting their bags packed, getting their lunch/dinner ready to send/ then load them into the car, out of the car, race back to the car to the train station, then doing it all in reverse at the end of the day.
  There is also a lot of "stuff" that needs to be done for children that really the parents have to do - like MMR vaccinations, doctors appointments, new shoe fittings etc etc. It makes life a lot easier if your husband can do it rather than having to take time off work. It also means that if your little one is sick then you don't have to panic about who stays at home.
  If you have to rule out your husband staying home, I really recommend a childminder if you can find someone you like. Nurseries have all sorts of great things going for them, and they were initially my first choice for my son when he was a baby. But there were no vacancies at the nurseries I liked, so we looked for a childminder (my son was 7 months old). It was the best thing I did, as she has been fantastic and my son has just one person looking after him and it is in a much more homely environment than a nursery (obviously!)
  From my own experience, you might find it difficult to express milk to give your baby (don't believe all the hype about breast pumps - they are not the same as a baby sucking!) or your little one might refuse a bottle - like both mine did. My childminder ended up giving formula in a cup (but not very successfully) and then I breastfed my son when I got home from work. And then about every hour through the night as he made up for lost time!
  I am not trying to be negative - you will be able to go back to work, but try to have the most time off you can so that the feeding/sleeping stuff is a bit more sorted - a three month old is so different to a nine month old. It is just so so hard being a working mother for all sorts of reasons, and even harder if you have a husband who is not the best domestically - as other posters have said, he has to sort that out. But having a bit more time off means you will have an easier time as you are just juggling the demands of your baby with your own needs, rather than also adding work into the mix.
  Best of luck.
• ALL IMHO...
  Gemma, will your relationship with Chris actually last? You seem, from the posts I've read, that you look down on him for working in Woolies.
  Bottom line is you earn more than him so it makes sense that if one of you is to care for the child then it should be him.
  What's wrong with been a house husband??
  Someone else said a childminder will cost Ј7K.... so that Ј10K of Chris's gross wage. How much does he earn? What I'm getting at is that Chris, if he continues to work, will effectively be working for hardly any money once the childcare costs are taken into account.
  I'm afraid I'm of the old school where I strongly, very strongly, believe that one of the Parents should stay at home to bring the kids up. I've yet to hear a reasonable reason as to why that can't be Chris.
• Although I am not against mothers returning to work (I am one!) I would have to say that I don't agree with sending a child to nursery/childminders when they are only a few months old. I was shocked at how much of a baby mine was when she started nursery at 6 months.
  If you have the option of one of you staying at home, at least until he or she is older, then I would grab it with both hands. So the housework won't get done during the day, it would be exactly the same if you were both at work! So your husband's idea of raising children is different to yours. Would you compromise your views on it, or is it only your husband who would have to fit your ideals?
  I am assuming that you would be returning to work fulltime. I don't think leaving a child in childcare (whatever it is) for 8 or so hours a day when it may not be necessary is beneficial for anyone.
  Just to add, my partner was really nervous before our baby was born about handling her. It took him a few weeks, but he was soon the most confident (and the best!!) dad with her. Yes, he does (or at least did when she was immobile!) rely on the tv more than I would like, but that is his choice. He is just as much part of her growing up as I am. They spend every friday afternoon together without me as I am at work and have a great time. I am really glad that he is able to spend this quality time with her without me poking my nose in. It has definately helped with the bonding.
  Sorry, just one last point, I promise! You should consider that you may not be physically fit enough to return to work so soon after giving birth. With sleepless nights, recovering from the birth etc I know I couldn't have done it. I know some women do, but you need to think of your health as well. If you need to have a c-section, I have been told that the doctors usually suggest that you give yourself at least 6 to 8 weeks to fully recover.
• Though it was hubby who was the bread winner in our family. We were in a similar position when I had eldest. Childcare would have taken most of my wages so I stayed at home to look after him, which meant I could take him to doctors appt, and toddler groups etc. As we needed some extra money coming in when he was 7 months old I found a job working 2 evenings and 1 Sunday morning a week at a convenience store whilst hubby was at home. So I fetched home exactly same amount as if I'd been at work full-time during day and paying a childminder/nursery and the baby always had a parent at home looking after him. After a few months I found a job where I just worked 3 hours each weekday night when hubby came home from work.