Do I have too high expectations?

A question about : Do I have too high expectations?

Hi,

My son is 8 in year 4, and I feel is underachieving. I volunteer in a different school and even the teacher there has offered to tutor him.
He has had hearing loss from glue ear, which has got progressively worse and is a class of monkeys.

He isn't writing clearly, has poor concentration (can't run through a times table fully in sequence), doesn't know 7 and 8 times tables and uses minimal punctuation.
He struggles with logical work, we are doing that at home.

Basically, should i be concerned or is he just being a boy? I have spoken to his teacher this morning again and she assures me he is ok in the class, but they are a fairly low ability class. He hasn't moved up a literacy target since the start of the year.

Thankyou, and be honest. I may cry but I might need reining in a bit.

Best answers:

• I think thier is a big differnce between helping him reach his full potential and doing things because you want him to be better personally (high expectations)
  You could consider privite tutoring or some kind of extra classes (My little brother goes to something called Kip but I am not sure if this is just local or national..)
  Its normal to be concerned but don't push him to hard, at 8 years old he is still growing and its good to teach him to do well at school and do well with his homework etc but he's still quite young.
  Edit: It looks pretty local https://www.kipmcgrath.co.uk/ but could give you an idea of the sort of things you could do.
  (7 and 8 times tables are hard!! I could work them out but I couldn't rhyme them off lol)
• Thankyou Kayalana,
  He will never be a rocket scientist, we just want him to be the best he can be. At the moment I don't feel he is being given the right support achieve that at school.
  Many thanks and I will look at the website link.
  Claire
• Hello, my son is in year one and has glue ear. He sits at the front of the class so can hear and lip read the teacher if he needs to. I know it sounds daft but is your son seated near the front of the teacher?
  I have an 8 year old in year 3 (both my boys also have mild dyspraxia). I volunteer in their school and I am in both of their classes one day a week. Does your school offer extra help to your son in small group setting or even one on one?
  Have you spoken to a senior member of staff? You know your son best and I believe you would know if he wasnt reaching his potential due to his school setting.
• Thankyou.
  He is sat at the front and I have had a chat with his teacher about his concentration. She doesn't deem it a problem. He is in a fairly high special needs class and his teacher is the school SENCO so I am confident she is doing her best within the limits.
  He gets intervention for his handwriting but as he has covered his hearing loss up (even the ENT team have been surprised he hasn't had a problem at school until this year), no one has done anything to help him.
• Also, why do you need to work through times tables in sequence?
• If you think they are letting him down in terms of his potential, then sorry, but if you want it to change, you have to deal with it.
  Rather than talking generally to the teacher, perhaps pick on on particular thing, for example his puncuation and make sure the teacher is focussing on that when setting individual targets for his work. And make sure it's being followed up. Far too many teachers will pay lip service to problems and then not follow them through in the subsequent weeks that follow. (Not saying that this would be the case with your son's teacher).
  With regards to the literacy and tables, they are easy things to reinforce at home. Just keep practising and make sure he is reading to you every day and reading to himself too, something that he really enjoys reading. Some children aren't really inspired by the books that come home from school so you can sort that yourself.
  I remember starting a thread on here years ago about my son's times tables and got lots of good advice. They all just seemed to click at a certain point but I understand your worry.
  Is he being distracted during class? If so, the class teacher can fix that in less than a minute by a quick seating change. Ask for it to happen if it hasn't already.
• Don't despair, he sounds like a typical little boy to me, I've had 3 of 'em! The oldest is left handed (I am too but didn't have a problem writing), we despaired of his handwriting, punctuation was scant. school couldn't really help him, nothing we did helped. I worried even up to his GCSEs that he would get marked down because the assessor couldn't read his writing. He's got 11 GCSEs, 3 A levels and a degree.
  3rd son's writing and spelling was appalling, he never checked anything and couldn't tell the time on a clock with hands until he went to secondary school. He's now at college and hopefully off to Uni next year.
  TBH, I'd be more concerned about the class environment - the disruptive pupils. not great for learning and concentration.
  Are there more boys than girls in the class? That was a problem in 2nd son's year, a smaller year group but it was 2/3rds boys.
• Thankyou all for your replies. I will try and go through everything but if I miss anything, apologies.
  Firstly, I understood it that they learn 1x7=7, 2x7 etc. then they were able to mix and match them. When I say he doesn't know them in sequence I mean he loses track of the number he on in sequential order.
  He reads like a bookworm and I know he understands punctuation but as he is not being pushed it has not been a priority for him to use it until Year 4.
  He had just accepted his hearing loss, I didn't mean covered up as much as compensated for the loss of. He is in a VERY boy heavy class and they are all bad (my son inc.) at distracting each other through mucking about and talking. It seems every time a new child starts its a little boy monkey.
  MrCow, I appreciate that I need to sort this out which is why I am asking for advice. I don't know what to do, and needed some input from people who don't know me or my son to be able to give me objective advice, which I have had.
  He is a darling little boy and I just want the best for him, and am aware that at 8 if I leave it 'til he is 9 or 10 it will be even harder to rectify.
  Thanks all so much for taking time to post advice, keep it coming, I need all the help I can get in this child rearing malarkey!!
  Claire
• I've just got one boy, aged 13 and can identify with much of what ciderwithrosie says! My son has untidy handwriting too. He brought it to my attention when he was in yr 6 that he doesn't hold his pen corrrectly, which I thought wasn't helping matters, until my friend with a girl in his year mentioned her daughter didn't either but had tidy writing.
  1-2-1 tutoring if you feel he needs a boost and can afford it, can bring on fab results in a short space of time. Though I'd personally be more tempted to put this in place (if you are going to do it) when the next academic year starts, rather than now when we are a few weeks off the end.
• I'm 4* (cough cough, 40 something) and I couldn't recite my 7 or 8 times tables, never have been able to but still quite good at maths generally (apart from algebra and fractions lol) and have got on well in life
• Hello both. I think as an adult we compensate for not knowing things, but as a little 'un we don't have the knowledge to do that (we know 7x6 is the same as 6x7!).
  He is such a clever little boy and I am so so scared that by the time he gets to big school we have a problem. I want to be able to nip it in the bud as soon as possible, bring him up to scratch - for where HE can be - and then see how he gets on in year 5.
  If I didn't work in schools I may not know the extent he is behind but I do, and right know i wish i didn't!! I would love to be able to trust the teacher that he really is alright. If we scrape together the tutoring money, it would only be once a fortnight, after all as people say he is a little boy!! I think this would be enough to boost his confidence but not enough to overload him.
  Honestly, thankyou all for replying.
• I have never known my times tables and it has never hindered me other than being embarrassed at primary school, by sevondary nobody cared.
  My ds is now in his first year at secondary school and still doesn't know his, despite us trying for many years to teach him.
  He too is a bookworm and excels at English, literature and language in fact he is 11 and reading at age 18+, I think tables are one of those things you either can or can't do.
  He is actually doing really well in maths now that it is more complex as opposed to just doing sums.
  I would say don't worry.
• Good old tick box education. :-)
  I'm 35 and struggle with 7 and 8 times tables despite having an A level in maths!!!
• Thankyou. Sounds like I am just being a fuss !!!, which I seem to do well. Will just keep an eye on him, practice tables lots and maybe get him some support to bring his writing up to support his lessons at school.
  Thanks all. I knew I could ask here.
  Xx
• I would possibly consider assessment for dyslexia/dyspraxia.. just to rule it out if nothing else. If he has made no progress in a school year then either the teacher is a total lemon or he has a reason he is not picking stuff up.. hearing loss adequately catered for isn't really a reason to make no progress.. if they are ignoring his hearing loss then that too needs addressing.
  My 8 y/o didn't know what 'multiply' meant.. I moved her school!
  If the teacher isn't assisting him knowing he has issues and the senco isn't interested.. speak to the head for a start.. write a list of your issues and take that with you to make sure all your worries are covered.
  I'd be kicking up a storm!
• The times tables are learned easiest by "rote".....just practice, practice, practice with him. I used to use the walk to school/childminder to recite a different one each day. This was for around 10 minutes at a time, any longer and my DS's concentration would wander (typical boy!)
  We also used to recite one at bedtime....I once heard him saying his times tables in his sleep!
  If he's a bookworm, he will absorb a lot of grammar and spelling simply from his reading material, you're lucky in that sense, I wish my DS would read something other than gaming mags or comic books. Although all reading is a bonus....try to make sure that he is reading books at or slightly above his reading ability, it won't hurt to stretch him a little. If he doesn't like a more difficult book now, he will probably go back to it later on.
  The hearing loss could well be a factor, I have quite severe hearing loss in one ear and I always found it difficult (and still do) to hear what someone is saying if there is a lot of background noise. Could you get him moved to a different class, even for just a term to see if he improves?
  Try not to put too much pressure on him, keep encouraging him but remember that not everyone is academic, and a lot of boys are slow learners at this age. Terrible handwriting is endemic now, they aren't picked up on it at all until much later. Not that it should be a problem, look at any doctor's handwriting!