DFB35 Diary

A question about : DFB35 Diary

Dear Diary, I have been reading this forum for the last few days and found it very inspiring! I am in debt and have been since getting my first credit card at 21.. so have been in various degrees of debt for 10 years now.

My aim is to become debt free by 35! I had a few light bulb moments over the years but feel like I have finally woken up and faced the facts in August 2014. I am pleased to say I have not accumulated any further debt since then. Fingers crossed this is how it will stay, however its still very early days and before becoming so sensible i had one last spend on a holiday we had in August - so the real test will be no holiday this year (or for foreseeable future atm).

I will post a little bit more about me and my debt situation later on today, just wanted to finally take the plunge and create a diary.

Total debt exc mortgage Ј19,337 (according to Noddle so a month or so behind)

Best answers:

• The "how I got into debt" story.. I think i this place is great as reading other peoples diaries, I feel like i can also share my story without being judged.
  It first started when me and my husband got our first place together, we spent a few years at his parents working, saving for a deposit and finishing our education (we had a surprise baby quite young so I moved in with him and his parents).
  As soon as we got our place we applied for a credit card to get a few things that our savings didnt stretch to and booked a holiday for us and our little girl who was 4 by this point. We never been away together AND it was my first ever holiday as i come from quite a poor background.
  So this all sounds sensible so far.. what doesnt sound quite so sensible is the fact this holdiay cost us Ј1500 (in 2006!) as my OH was really keen to go somewhere nice and he was used to stay at 4* plus hotels. I am not blaming him as I was very happy to go too
  I dont think this holiday was ever paid off to be honest! Then there was another holiday in 2007 (which cost Ј2000), a few luxury items etc..
  Also at this point to my mum and all the outside world it looked like we were doing very well - both in full time well paid jobs, own our own house etc.. So my mum was struggling and I have put at least Ј2000 on credit card for her. These included some tickets to see a dying relative and when my mum moved house, to help her furnish her place. It might have been more, but i felt very generous "oh just stick it on my credit card attitude". Again I am not blaming my mum who thought we could afford it..
  Roll on to 2008 and we had our second child, not worrying about credit debt, and funnily enough we always had an excellent credit rating so i would just shift one card to another.
  A few years later we took a loan as we were moving to a bigger place and needed money to pay our stamp duty/ solicitors/ few other bits.
  Then we got a car on credit
  And finally another holiday in 2014, a few other bits in between and in Aug when we come back from holiday I realised we owed nearly 10k on credit cards... So I had a bit of a wake up call and took another loan to pay these off.
  So things as they stand now:
  Car loan -Ј1,632
  Loan 1 -Ј6,812
  Loan 2 -10,893
  Total Ј19,337
  Not including Mortgage -Ј157,324
  The car loan runs out in October this year, but the other two loans are finishing 2018 & 2021 respectively - when taking them out I was after the lower monthly payments and wasnt worried about tying myself for 7 years!)
  The plan is to pay everything off (apart from Mortgage) by my 35th birthday (2019) and I want to share my journey with you
• Welcome on board. I have subscribed. I am a few years folder than you (still in my 30s) and had my first LBM at around your age. I wish I had persevered! But I'm back on the wagon again.
  I look forward to sharing your debt free journey with you!
• Sincere Good Luck DFB35 You can do it ..!!!
• Nice to meet you and thank you! Will have a read of your diaries in a mo!
• Ok, just read back on my story and realised that I sounded very defensive... Hubby wants expensive holidays, mums trouble and there is poor little me getting into debt through no fault of my own ... All of this is true but I also have a few things to admit..
  A few times I went through a period in my life where I'd become fixated on having a certain thing.... In particular it was a very expensive designer bags and expensive diamond ring... I seemed to have developed a very disturbing cycle where I would buy a designer bag (and we talking upwards of Ј500+ per bag). Then feel absolutely sick that I've spent this money on a bag so wear it a few times and then sell it on eBay at a loss... This is very weird behaviour but I feel like I can be 100% honest on here. I have done this with about 5 or 6 bags!!! And you can't return it to the shop as they give you a voucher so I would literally sell it at 200 loss at a time?!! What the hell?!
  The diamond ring and one designer purse are the only things I have kept after all that buying then taking back malarkey....
  Also I seem to go through periods of ups and downs where I would spend lots of money and feel temporarily up and then come crashing down...
  And holidays, as I mentioned before... We have decided not to go this year, having been on credit card only in August 2014 (pre LBM)... But in January I felt a massive down and very nearly booked one. But I didnt. And again was looking last night but haven't booked.
  When I took our last loan to consolidate our debts I kept 2 credit cards one of which has 10k credit limit (why on earth would they give such a huge credit limit?!)
  I think step 1. Would be to cut up and cancel that card - what do you think?
  Step 2. Would be to do a proper budget to allocate some money toward a future holiday perhaps in a separate account...
  But I will leave that for next post
• My thoughts on step 1: CUT IT UP AND CANCEL IT NOW!!! And yes, I know I'm shouting.. You know it's the right thing to do.
  Step 2: sounds logical
  I've subscribed. Good luck!
• I have downloaded the YNAB app, had a quick read of a few more diaries! So inspiring..
  Need to go now and get on with my housework! But will be back with a plan of action!!
• Since my LBM in August I have already taken these steps:
  1. Cut down on all unnecessary spending ie.. takeaways, coffees at work, meals at work etc....
  2. Looked at the bills to see if we could make any cut backs..
  I am pleased to say that I have cancelled my iPad 3G sim and will just use the wifi (saving of 26 a month!), hubby cancelled gym (wasn't going anyway! Saving 44 a month). We have negotiated a cheaper car insurance from Ј800 quoted down to Ј500 - still expensive but due to an accident and losing no claims last year. Ermm.... I have cancelled some charity DD feel a bit bad but charity begins at home and all that... Monthly saving Ј21. Also renegotiated boiler insurance to Ј13 down from Ј25. Total saved over Ј100 on bills not including car insurance as reduced payment before renewing
  I am constantly looking at my bills and will review any further upcoming insurances, will post SOA at some point as I know some still high... Especially tv/ Internet/ phone package at 72 a month but hubby not budging on this.
  3. I have also cut down on presents, that felt very sad... But we managed not using credit card even though we had christmas both kids birthdays and mine bday during this time (don't care about mine but it's presents for others felt bad). And even Valentine's Day we have not bought anything for each other, having a takeaway instead (not had one for ages see point 1)
  4. I have completely stopped going out! This is very extreme and can't continue as I'm going to end up friend less this is tounge in cheek but I have considered loosing all my friends to further save money haha! joking of course.... Pre LBM I wouldn't think twice spending Ј50 on a night out, taxi home further Ј20ish quid... Expensive presents on friends bdays
  5. Oh almost forgot.. We cut on our food bills, the fact I forgot means we not missing out I have cut our food bills from Ј100ish to Ј60ish a week for family of 4, but aim to cut even further to Ј50
  This not including christmas food, for those two festive weeks we did spend about Ј100 each week.. But we not used credit which was main thing and we hosted this year.
  6. I have bought clothes only with my bday money and encouraged my daugther to buy some clothes with her bday money (again felt mean! She is 13 years old and didn't mind/ enjoyed it but I felt that clothes is a basic thing we as parents should provide her with that she didn't have to spend her bday money on it but something she would decide herself - OPINIONS please? As I said it's done and she didn't mind but I feel bad...
  7. Also as part of kids Christmas present there were given things we would have had to buy anyway (some clothes and their activity gear) is that cheeky/ bad of me? Still they had fab christmas with lots of other pressies too and not on credit!
  What else..... Will add if I think of anymore.. Will be back with a budget for the rest of the month before payday.. Xx
  Edited to add: I have also moved all our DD to come out at the beginning of the month, just after we are paid - made things a lot easier!
• I find it confusing to do a yearly budget (I will check out the YNAB app to see if it helps but it needs Dropbox and pc and I'm on iPad at the moment so will leave it until I'm at work). What I have been doing so far is a very simple income/ outgoings excel sheet. I have a list of yearly payments and I know in theory I need to divide by 12 and put the set amount away each month.. But it just not happening at the moment as I will get confused what's what etc.... And also all our savings are in one lump..
  So I thought as long as all our monthly DD are paid for and I budget for the food and other monthly expenses I can put whatever is left over at the end of the month into our savings. From there I will decide what to put towards debt overpayments or other expensive yearly outgoings... Don't know if this makes sense? This is what I have been doing since LBM and we have Ј800 in our savings so far. I kid myself and say that's towards loan 1 but in reality I don't know if any of it is needed for yearly bills? I will try to get my head round this.
  Another option is to make regular overpayments of say 100 each month on loan 1 rather than saving for a lump sum pay off - any opinions or advice on this please?
  Anyhow.... Enough ramblings, budget until 24th Feb coming up
• This upcoming week and a bit will be more expensive than usual due to the half term, me going out to see a very good friend and haircuts.
  Money available - Ј700
  Budgeted spend - Ј326
  Money left over for debt busting/savings - Ј374
  For those interested breakdown as follows
  15th - NSD
  16th - hubby Ј30 for his work lunches for the week, even though he is off work from Wednesday due to the half term I know he will take the full Ј30 from experience I'm off to visit some friends but NSD for me.
  17th - I'm going to visit my mum to give her bday present (bought already and spent much less than I wanted, however got her a lovely scarf hopefully she will like! Also adding a bottle of prosecco I have left over from christmas = cheapskate hehe Will have to pay for kids travel tickets Ј10, my travel is free. Car parking for the whole day Ј10 might be less but I'm over estimating.
  Then I'm out with a very good friend who I have not seen for a very long time. I have stopped socialising entirely to help us save and get out of debt so I feel very anxious having to do it... But it's my only chance as she is leaving the country. I will try to be as frugal as I can but I'm sure it won't be less that Ј50
  18th Boys haircut Ј20, will ring up and pay for daughters riding lesson Ј22
  19th - boys cinema trip, tickets Ј9, treats Ј10, parking Ј3 just hope hubby won't buy anything else on impulse (will ask him not to but don't want to be a total control freak)
  20th Will need to buy another birthday present, this time for my sons friend about Ј10
  21st Food shop hoping for Ј60
  22nd daughters riding lesson for next week Ј22
  23rd need to pay for sons childcare for the week Ј70
  Total: Ј326
  To put in savings: Ј374
  Will be interesting to see how the real spends will compare to this!
• I'm back again! This forum is so addictive
  I have decided, after talking to my husband last night (what a romantic Valentine's Day talk haha) that we will overpay loan 2 by Ј100 each month starting this upcoming pay day. The reason we picked loan 2 is because it's a lot easier to overpay (my bank has a link to it so can easily transfer online, with loan 1 I would have to ring up etc).
  With this relatively small overpayment brings the total loan term down massively! I don't know if I calculated it correctly. At the moment we have Ј10,893 at Ј140 a month = 77.8 months or 6 years 4 months.
  With new repayment Ј10,893 at Ј240 a month = 45.3 months or 3 years 7 months.
  Meanwhile still keeping up with the savings and pay lump sums off loan1 as and when we can (so makes more sense to ring up if we have a larger lump to pay off). Also this will allow us to build up savings pot for the MOT, car tax and car service in October. Not to mention christmas and bdays. And possibly holidays but not this year!
  Loan1 is due to finish June 2018 and loan 2 with new repayment due to finish September 2018... Both are under my DFB35 target! PLEASE let me know if I have miscalculated?
  I will update my signature and all set for debt busting starting February payday at the end of the month! Come on guys we can do it! We will become debt free!
  Will do my best to stick to budget until payday and put the money left over in savings. Already worked out extras coming out of next months pay. We are in the middle of doing kids rooms up, but as it's no council tax month we should be ok. Can't believe I'm worrying about next months budget already...
  One week at a time and breathe Xx
• Sounds like a plan coming together to me. I think we feel guilt about not buying for our kids and they don't feel at all shortchanged. It's only for a few years and it's not like you're asking them to buy their own school uniforms. Ease up on yourself. We've all made mistakes and then try to overcompensate. If there's anything actually needed, they will ask.
• Good morning
  I have a few days of work due to half term = bliss
  My kids are older and happy to entertain themselves this morning, so I'm having a bit of time to myself and spent it reading a few diaries and debt free roll of honour thread.
  I think I might still be in denial about the extend of my debts.. I owe over 19k but still thinking about holidays and only prepared to pay Ј100 extra of my debts a month.. This isn't good enough....So I have decided to keep Ј500 as an emergency fund out of my Ј800 savings and put any extra I have on the debt each month!
  So I have made a Ј300 transfer towards debt 2. New total loan 2 - Ј10,593.
  I have also called up and cancelled the credit card I had with 10k limit on it. That felt scary as I was worried it was a safety net in case of an emergency.. But really does anyone need a 10k safety net?! I think not...Ј500 is more than enough for emergency, which I have in savings.
  I don't know why I'm feeling so anxious about it all...
  Now to get through this week and hopefully have another Ј300 left over to pay off more debt.
• Sounds like you are doing brilliantly! It's lovely to feel all focussed and in control isn't it!
  Keep going!
• I was stressing so much about going out last night, even though I was so so looking forward to it! I have completely stopped going out and pretty much stopped drinking, cut down massively on socialising since my LBM.. And yesterday was a big test! I knew from experience that it could potentially be Ј50 of maybe even more as we were having dinner etc.. And I know my friend haha.. But I am very pleased to say I have spend Ј36, I know it's still lots! But we are in London and this was for dinner and then cocktails afterwards which were Ј6 each (and that's a good price! Some places are Ј10+) and travel.
  I had a soft drink with dinner, no starter we still went halves as I'm not one for getting a calculator out after the meal and I bought a round of two cocktails. Felt weird having a drink and usually once I had some I think f@@@ it and don't care about spending. But it didn't happen this time.
  I have confided in her in the past but no one really knows the exact extend of my debt and when you try to explain that you are in debt people just say oh yeah we are too etc.. So then makes you feel like it's no excuse!
  So I have blamed my reluctance to drink on my anxiety, which to be fair is getting quite bad. Another thing, my friend posted some things on facebook about us being out and I know my other friends will question now why I went out when I have been avoiding them all.. I had one message last night asking for a catch up.. I don't know what to do catch up almost always means spending money!
  Will see how the rest of the week works out now re my budget in earlier posts! But the night out was the biggest unnecessary expense and so far so good
• Hi!
  Sounds like you've made great progress so far!
  Re buying clothes etc for your children. Growing up my mum always have the system of putting x aside each week clothes allowance for me and my brother (and her and my dad as well - they still do this now). Whilst my other friends might go shopping with their parents and get loads in one go, if I wanted something I had to save for it. I've never begrudged my mum for this. In fact I was the one with the kickers shoes (yes they were fashionable at the time) and my friends were jealous! But I'd waited and saved for them! It's funny that I'm now adopting the same approach for myself now!
  Re going out with your friends - can you not be honest with them? My friends are all fully aware of my situation so I don't feel obliged to keep up appearances. I haven't had that response from anyone re "so are we" - but even if I did, let them live their life how they want. What you want is to clear your debts. I've realised that everyone's level of debt which they're comfortable with is different. When I said to someone I had Ј10k worth of debt they couldn't see an issue and admitted they have Ј20k worth of debt and a (nice/expensive) car on finance!
  Over xmas some of my friends were meeting for lunch - I ate before I went (some weren't eating anyway) and then drunk water - I didn't feel I missed out on anything as I still had a good catch up. This weekend I'm going to the cinema and then for dinner - I'll take a drink in my bag for the cinema and drive.
  Some people may disagree with me, but I think you need to allow yourself a life otherwise you wont still to it and will go "sod it" go out with your friends and spend loads of money, come home drunk and book that holiday (maybe this is a stretch my hopefully you see what I mean). I give myself an allowance each week so that I do have this freedom.
  Hope this helps.
  (Sorry I've rambled on more than I intended to!)