depression

A question about : depression

Hi there - before I start- I am NOT looking for medical advice, just other peoples experiences of suffering with depression.

I was diagnosed with depression in about 2000, and have been on a variety of anti-depressants. I'm currently in the process of changing from Paroxetine to Venlefaxine.

However, I struggle enormously with day to day life, and have done for years. I can never wake up in the morning, and had major problems with this when I was working, despite having 7- yes SEVEN alarm clocks! I just wouldn't hear them. I find it difficult to get motivated to do anything, and over the last few years, have found it extraordinarily hard to apply myself, or to concentrate on things. Before the baby came along, I would lock myself away for days on end, and just sleep.

Has anyone else had similar experiences?

Best answers:

• Been suffering from depression since 2000 (I was 13), got diagnosed 2002 (15/16). Had a brief period of no depression while pregnant. Started the medication merry-go-round with paroxetine (Prozac) in 2004 with the diagnosis of post-natal depression. Was hospitalised (voluntary) Jan/Feb 2005 where I was prescribed venlafaxine (which is joint top of my list of worst antidepressants side effects wise). Since then tried a lot of different antidepressants- none have worked yet. Along with venlafaxine, the worst antidepressant I've had is lofepramine (since I'd pretty much exhaused the SSRI list that was the most recent one to be prescribed). Am having to stop that one as it's affecting my vision (along with other side effects such as nausea, vomiting, dizziness, increased anxiety, increased suicidal thoughts, sensitivity to the sun) and I have a college course to complete.
  I cannot work, have struggled with my college course, cannot look after my daughter or myself, and need someone to look after me pretty much all day and night. My partner is my main carer and I have a friend in college who looks after me there. If it wasn't for them I wouldn't be able to get out of bed at all.
  ETA: I hope things get better for you soon. Don't let my experience put you off- venlafaxine is a great drug for a lot of people- it just doesn't suit me.
• I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression last year. I was prescribed Prozac which didn't help at all and then prescribed Escitalopram 20 mg (Cipralex/Lexapro) and have been on that ever since. I also attend regular appointments at the hospital with a social worker/psych.
  I'm always tired and if I had my way I would just sleep.
  I can't seem to get myself out of this depressive state. Does it eventually go away or what... :confused:
• Suffered (?) with depression for about 14 years.
  Over the years, my partner has passed away, my daughter has passed away, as has my Mother, so the 3 most influential people basically.
  Had 1 relationship since my partner passed, which did not work out, and don't make friends. I have a flatmate, we got on but argue alot.
  I struggle with motivation/energy/sleep etc, and if I knew how to overcome this, then I would let you all know
  I'm seriously considering jacking in my psychotherapy. It's not working, I don't say much, and get criticised for not saying much, which doesn't help.
  Don't think things will ever change but will fight on.
  Anxiety has risen over the years.........can spend days indoors without going out, bills get forgotten, telephone/door never gets answered.
  I don't do medication, I don't want anything that can affect my mind.
• I was diagnosed with depression in January after years and years of suffering. I just hid under my duvet and cried all the time. The doctor put me on Citalopram and although the side effects were horrendous (I got through them by halving my dose for a couple of weeks on the doctors advice) they did wear off and I haven't had any for a good few months now.
  I'm in St Helens and the most useful they they did for me was depression management. It helped me to deal with my symptoms. How to relax, what to do when I felt low, generally how to cope with all the symptoms. I'd highly recommend anyone suffering to force themselves to go back to the doctors and ask for the same thing.
  I know what you mean tank girl tho, sometimes I have more energy than an entire football time, other times it's an effort to open my eyes! I've found if I get up and immediately start doing stuff the momentum carries me through the day. I also found that if I set myself tasks for the day and if I do them I can reward myself with not doing anything else if I don't want to!
  I also remember what it was like when I first got diagnosed so if I've managed to get up and get myself washed and dressed without a fuss then I count that a good day now!
  Hope you all feel better soon
• I come from a family who suffer from depression. An uncle commited suicide, mum and sister both suffered in the past and Dad has clinical depression (a symtom chemo left him with). Congratulations on wanting to fight it - whether you feel like that or not, the fact you have posted on here means you do.
  I have recently been put on daizapam for a muscle spasm problem. The worrying thing is that in spite of it's being an anti-depressant, I don't feel any more lively or happier than before. Scared of how I will feel when I stop taking it.
  Small wins are good for the soul with depression i.e. getting out for a walk, having a tidy up, successfully eating properly in a day.
  Depression is hard to live with, both for the sufferer and those around them. It's tempting to sleep your way through it, I know it's something I have done.
  Do we expect too much, just by wanting to be happy?
• Two years ago i found out i had a degenerative spinal disease, im 37 and the mri results were similar to those of 70-80 year olds, i used to own/run a racecar, train in martial arts and have an active physical job of which i was on the top rung of the ladder, so bang went 35k and the company car along with any future employment hopes, my back is permanently painfull and often locks into position without warning.I was given a range of opiate based painkillers and told they could not operate.I promptly became addicted to the opiates(difficult not to) and still have not sorted out any state benefits, obviously all this sent me into a spiral of depression, not even answering the phone unless i knew it was my wife for the last 2 years. Through my own initiative and determination i have gone from 400mg tramadol, 4000mg of paracetamol and some rather nasty muscle relaxants to only 1000mg paracetamol and some natural herbal dietry suppliments, im getting stronger every day at the moment and life doesnt look to bad. I cant help thinking somehow that the meidcation made things worse, in fact for me they definatly did. I would never advise anybody to stop there medication without consulting a professional first but urge anybody suffering from depression to start researching there ilness thoughroughly, get interested in how and why you feel like you do, the internet is an excellent research tool and the medical profession have a very poor understanding of your condition as depression has so many different faces, i believe depression is a direct result of the lifestyles we lead or are forced to lead, with poor diet being the main culprits. Im planning on starting a degree in nutrition this year and the more i research the more interested i become, its about non refined healthy foods but more importantly about balance, your body needs the right chemicals produced to make you feel good, you need the right diet to produce the chemicals but because your depressed you dont/cant have a proper diet. Its a big vicious circle and a hard one to break, but there is light at the end of the tunnel-its just that you have to be the one to go find the light, the opiates just made everything cloudy for me, i think id rather stick wasps up my bum than be a victim of all that pharmaceutical crap again, 1.1 million people in the uk addicted to prescription painkillers/antidepressants is a figure i find very scary indeed, most of them probarbly arent ill with the reason that they were prescribed the drugs for but now suffer from the side effects of there use and the drugs they are also prescribed to combat the side effects of the origional drug. The pharma companies make money from each and every one of us all throughout most of our lives from nappy creams to toothpaste so do you think its in there interests for us all to get healthy? It didnt used to be like this many years ago. And the only people who can change it is us, but we have to take an interest first
• Depression is all through the family so it was no surprise when I was diagnosed with it. I was given anti-depressants on and off during my teens in the hope it was a temp thing, then my dad collapsed 3 days before my wedding in 2003 when I was 23 and I just cracked up or so it seemed. I was put on Citalopram 20mg one a day but after a while this had no effect so from then to now and with marriage breaking up etc I am now on 3 a day and have regular check ups at the doctors. WIth their supervisionn I did try to lower the dosage down to 1 a day again but within a month I was a nightmare to live and work with so I am back up to 3 a day.
  In my family, my mum, dad, and 1sister are all on "happy pills" the other sister takes St.Johns wart. My nan is also on 'happy pills'.
  I also feel it is hard to get up in the morning and on the way home from work (only a 30 min journey) I tend to have to pull over to stop me falling asleep and have a 5 min power nap! Ever found your self crying and you dont know why - exactly
  You feel like you want ot do more at times and at others you just want to shut the world off and be on your on and sleep cos you never feel like you have had a good nights sleep!! I am improving slightly by getting approx 5 hours a night now instead of 2/3 hours.
  Some people just thiink depression is all inthe head and that all you have to do is to pull yourself together which can be frustrating cos unless you have suffered it yourself you cant sympathize.
  Sorry if I went on a bit xx
• i think the trick for me was to not see depression as an illness but as a symptom of another problem which it very often is, western medicene never treats the problem, only the symptoms. Why treat a persons depression when you can give them pill to make them feel happy and go away, you never get to why your actually feeling depressed this way, its a vicious circle and its so much more difficult to find a way out when your brain is pickled on pharmas.If you can find herbal suppliments that work like st. johns wort then your saving yourselves a lot of side effects, Dr's are limited by what they can prescribe often to there annoyance . Next time you see your GP ask him if he has anything non addictive or dangerous he can prescribe you-the answer will sadly be no.
• Hi
  My sister had very bad depression dianozed about 7 years ago. Real problems with work not being very understanding, She had just got married and really this should have been the time she was happiest but thats when she found she couldn't cope anymore. She had a crying jag at work and then after a couple of months she returned the same happened. She was off work a long time and was taking anti depress, councilling and two breakdowns. She couldn't see the wood for the trees, couldn't get up in the mornings or do anything. She was on prosac but it made her want to kill herself so the doctor changed the tablets.
  Looking back the signs where always there, she is the type which always sees the glass half empty where I suppose I'm the half full type but she's not a moaner and has always solidered on.
  7 years later.....she is still married with a lovely baby girl and is off the tablets, and loving her job (the same one) I'm not saying it will not return as I have learnt alot about this disease from her and know now it can happen anytime to anyone but fingers crossed.
  Good luck and there is a light at the end of the tunnel, 'cos I never thought my sister would be okay again.
• thanks for all your replys guys - its good to know im not the only one!!
  if you havent experienced depression, i think its difficult to understand it. ive lost a relationship, and a job to it. my family all think its just a case of 'thinking positive, and pulling my socks up'.
  it isnt though.
  perhaps we could all help each other - i think posting on here, and knowing other people are going through the same thing really helps.
  oh, and for what its worth- i havent been out today yet, and am still in my pj's
• Gosh i always felt like i was the only one!
  was diagnosed with clinicall dpression aged 14 ( was suffering long before), i was put on amitryiptiline then, cant actually remeber much about back then. i used to see a child psychiatrist but it didnt really help as she was in her late 50's and probably had no idea wat life was like for a 14 year old at that time, also i couldnt really say wat i wanted to.
  Have basically been depressed eversince, (it didnt help having a contolling boyfriend who loved to play mind games and a narcisistic father!)
  Have always had disturbed sleep - apparently due to depression, and i'm forver tired, i have had the 'black' periods and suicidal thoughts, even cut myself wen i was younger- not very often tho, only if i had a really bad blolw out.
  Then in july 2003 i met DS father and thought finally my life was getting better and going somewhere - how wrong was i?!
  I fell pregnant a few months later, he cheated and gave me the clap, i found out 2 days after xmas he had a daughter (she was born on that day) and then in the february 2004 he left me, and for 2 months told me he was coming back and he never did.
  I then found out he cheated on me practiaclly from day one and had left me for someone else.
  I cried every day for the rest of my pregnancy and beyond, during which time my so called cousin would tell me about girls he had been with etc... little did i know one of them was her! (found that out wen spud was 8 weeks old, the day before my birthday)
  At 31 weeks pregnant i went into premature labour and spent 5 days in hospital on a drip, then wen i was 37 weeks i went into labour and ended up having to have a c-section which gets to me even now - also just afet i came out of the operating theatre my father threatened to kill me and my mum - i was numb from the neck down and petrefied! I couldnt even hold my baby properly for a few hours.
  2 days later DS father told me he was moving in with his gf - the one he left me for (little did i know they had been living together since the day he left)
  was feeling quite down but not too bad until 4 months after DS was born i had a phone call to tell me his father had just had a son born, by the one he left me for which means he got her pregnant while we was together! well that knocked me for 6!
  I plodded along for another few months then one day very bad day took an obverdose, and completely rejected DS, my mum had to take time off work to look after him. i couldnt even bear to be around him - ( feel eternally guilty for that)
  Then i knew i had to sort myself out, i started going to mother and baby group to make new friends and things started picking up, i also moved to be nearer my mum and family.
  I didnt want to go on anti depressants as i had a bit of a speed habit before so i didnt want to become dependant.
  Now i still get down somethimes but i'm nowhere near as bad as before, i have made lots of new friends and even got back in touch with some old school friends. I go out on the weekends and so i get a break, went to butlins for a weekend last sept, it was the longest time i have ever spent away from spud but it done me the world of good.
  I dont really talk about all this stuff as i think people will just think i'm moaning, just want to say thanx to everone who has posted as i now realise i'm not on my own!!
• Suffered from depression myself for a while and was on Ciprofen (I think they were called that).
  Slowly but surly I got over it.
  But, you have to want to get out of the rut. I had to force myself to go out and to mix with people.
  Now I couldn't be better - not on any medication at all and enjoying life
• tankgirl1, you are not alone, but I believe there is light at the end of the tunnel - it's just sometimes that the tunnel is a very long one.
  I was diagnosed with depression in 1992, was in and out of psychiatric wards for a couple of years and tried all sorts of anti-depressants, but I'd say that by the end of 1999 I was more or less sorted. This was as a result of Citalopram (a lifesaver for me with the fewest side-effects I've known from any drug) and 5 years of NHS psychotherapy (also a lifesaver).
  I'm still on the citalopram and happy to take it indefinitely although it did take me 8 months to come off it to start a family. These drugs are not addictive in the sense that you need more and more of it to feel OK, it's just that the brain doesn't like to suddenly have to do without what it is used to.
  I wouldn't wish depression on anyone, it's awful and is a destroyer of lives, including those around the sufferer. I'll never forget what it felt like. It basically wiped out my twenties and stopped my career in its tracks. I've had to come to terms with a life that has been changed because of my illness - but so do lots of people.
  No one with depression wants to feel that way. I would say though, that I believe what my psychologist said to me about labelling yourself. Don't think of yourself as a depressive, think of yourself as a person who happens to have an illness which is depression. Too often we let depression define us ("that's what I am, I'll always be like this") and it means that you don't know what to do with yourself when the depression lifts. You can't do a lot of things when you're depressed, but when you feel better you're still scared of doing them because you're out of practice!
  Lower your standards and don't be so hard on yourself. So what if you're still in your pyjamas? You're seeking help and support from these boards, and that's good for you in the long term. I reckon that means that you will make it.
  Keep posting.
• One of nice things I found with Mirtazapine, is that the lower the dose, the better I slept. Though 'sleep' is a relative term since I was still drinking heavily every day (and night) :rolleyes: