Children's parties

A question about : Children's parties

Hi there - I'm looking to get opinions on the best thing to do here.

My LO has his heart set on a party for his birthday in the next few months. We've only had one party before, which was a shared party with a couple of friends, so we were limited to numbers and just invited 5 friends each.

This year I'm going to organise a party at our house. I have a short list of definite invitees (around 12 including siblings). But I was wondering if I should keep the invitations for children only, or also invite MY friends to the party.

We recently went to a child's party which had children and (non-parent) adults invited, which seemed to work just fine. I have a friendship group where 1-2 of us have children around the same age, but others do not have children and I'm concerned that those without children may feel that I'm excluding them as they are not parents. However I don't want them to feel obliged to come along and feel like they don't belong there as they haven't brought children.

Any thoughts please?

Best answers:

• Who is the party for? If it's for your child, it's his friends who he wants there (plus accompanying adults, some of whom may be your friends too of course). Why on earth would your adult friends who aren't friends with your son (and aren't parents to any of his friends) feel excluded?
  If one of your non-parent friends happens to be a special friend of his, then invite them too, to help out and give you assistance with maintaining order and/or your sanity!
  Otherwise, schedule a party for your friends one evening when your son is in bed, at which point the fun can be unleashed!
  Bottom line: it's your son's special day - organise the things he wants, not the things you want!
• If you want a party for your friends, just have one another time. But if I was single and/or childless I could imagine a million and one things I'd rather be doing than spending the afternoon at a friend's child's birthday party! I wouldn't feel slighted the least little bit!!
  If really you want them there for an extra pair of hands to help out, then just ask if they'd mind, don't gloss it up that they're invited at your son's request.
  As a child I would have been bloody cross with my mum if she'd invited her friends to MY party... I'm sorry, I don't get it at all!
• This is a tricky one. I don't have children myself but a lot of my friends do. When one of my friends little ones turned one she had a small party. Stupidly it didn't occur to me that I would be the only one without a child, I just wanted to share in the special occasion. I did feel totally out of place. However the same friend also has an older child and when it was his birthday I was again invited. This time I felt a bit more useful as I could help set up the party, top up buffet food, make drinks etc. I suppose I would say to invite your friends, just say it would be nice to see them but understand if a kid,s party isn't their thing.
• Thanks all.
  I don't particularly want my friends there (I find hosting parties hard work and you never really get chance to talk to anyone properly).
  I ask because I worry that my childless friends will feel excluded as some people from the same friendship group will be there, with their children.
  Before I had children I really wouldn't have wanted to go to a kids party (maybe not even now!) but some of my friends feel like they're not "part of the gang" and are left out of things because they don't have children. I don't want to make them feel worse.
  The party is for pre-schoolers so as long as there are games and cake I don't think they'll care who's there...
• I always did my daughters' parties at home (until they were around 12-ish) but I would never have even thought to invite any adults at all other than a friend to help out perhaps if partner was not at home to help that day. Would rather go to the dentist myself than to a child's party
• So do you think I'm being over-sensitive about my childless friends feelings?
• I was at my best friend's daughter's second birthday party (missed her third birthday as I live in a different country and couldn't get home for it). I think of her more as a niece and love her dearly, I was childless and struggling with infertility but wouldn't have missed it for the world, seeing her little face so excited and watching her blow out her candles and open all her presents was lovely. Our other friend and I went together, I think we might have been the only two childless adults there but can't really remember.
  I think it depends on the relationship the adults have with your child. If they're close. I'd say definitely invite them. However make it clear that they shouldn't feel obliged to come if they don't want to or don't feel able.
• I wouldn't ask people without kids. Kids party is for kids and their parents. Keep it simple and don't overcomplicate things. Can't go wrong like that.
  Just my own opinion.
• I have some childless friends who love my son's birthday parties and some who wouldn't come if I offered them a winning lottery ticket
  I usually just mention in passing that we are having food and cake for his birthday on whatever date and they're welcome if they want to come. I don't have any friends who aren't kind towards my son so he's pleased to see whoever shows up. I get a few beers and bottles of wine in, nothing over the top or that won't get used if no other adults show up and leave it at that. I would also never take offence if the people that I mentioned it to didn't come.
• It depends on what kind of party you are having.
  If it is a child centred party with all child appropriate activities where adults really are spectators or if it is a party that just happens to be about the child.
  The first I would only ask childless friends or family especially close to the child.
• I think it depends on the relationship your childless friends have with your children! I don't have kids yet but would feel a little miffed if my best mate had a party for one of her children and didn't ask me - mainly because I have a great relationship with all 3 of her kids.
  Most of my friends tend to ask if I want to go along towards the end of the party when the majority of the kids have gone home apart from the ones who's moms I socialize with so we will all have a couple of drinks while their kids burn off the rest of the cake and pop!!
• If I didn't have kids, a children's party is the last place I'd want to be (unless of course you serve some acohol). I think you'll find most adults feel the same.