Baby shower?

A question about : Baby shower?

Hi, not sure if this is in the correct forum?
Basically, after trying for a baby for 3 years and having 3 miscarriages I am now 24 weeks pregnant obviously I am over the moon although won't be reassured until the baby is here in my arms. I was just wondering what people think about baby showers? I have attended 3, the most recent of which I actually organised. My sister in law had a miscarriage before mine and then went onto get pregnant again 4 months later, I was told by my brother that in no circumstances, surprise or otherwise, did she want a baby shower. I now don't know whether I should have one or if I should just wait and see if anyone plans one for me??

Best answers:

• It is personal to you; nobody but you can answer that. IF you want one, tell your family. If you don't want one, then tell them you don't want one. Most people have some kind of get together, either rbefore or after the birth, to celebrate.
• Personally I don't like them. I think it's really tasteless to invite people to a party where the whole point is that they give you presents.
  They're an American thing, and the tradition here is that we wait till the little one has safely arrived and celebrate the birth then, it's much better. Your friends and family will probably love getting you and the baby gifts when he/she is here.
  Congratulations, and sorry for your losses. X
• I think they're really tacky. I have attended one and vowed never to go to another. I've been invited to several since but have always declined. They create an obligation on people to give multiple presents - one at the shower, one after the birth, and another at the baptism (if applicable).
  Incidentally, it's my understanding that a baby shower is not organised by the mother-to-be. That seems right, given the main objective is to give gifts. Any friend who arranged their own baby shower would appear to be greedy to me, and I'd be distancing myself from them.
• Hello
  I am having a sort of baby shower. I am organising it myself with the help of a friend, I have said no presents please and am saying it's more of a 'going into the baby cave and might not be out until Christmas, goodbye see you on the other side' shower. We are doing a bring a dish event at my house.
  It's a small group of my old school friends, all of us normally meet regularly but I am assuming as the bub is due in October that I will be head down and missing out until Christmas when he is 8-10 weeks old as they all live at least an hour away and no one else will be on mat leave or works part time.
  I asked my friends how they would feel about it and they offered to help. So they have helped co-ordinate the date when everyone is free, we'll be co-ordinating dishes brought nearer the time and I'll be doing drinks. I think if you want one (like I did) it makes sense to talk to those you know you want there and let them know what you want.
• Congratulations on baby!
  IMO, I'm not keen on baby showers. I've been to 2, the first I was sent a gift list like you get at a wedding with things the mother and father to be would like which I found a) expensive, pretty much the baby section of John Lewis and b) rude! I'm not keen on the games etc either which we felt we were felt forced to take part in.
  The second was a very low key surprise one for a friend who had suffered multiple losses and a very difficult IVF journey. This one was lovely as there was no expectation of a gift and it was very relaxed, just celebrating a friends happy news.
  I specifically said I didn't want one with ds as I also think they're just a way of getting people to buy you gifts! Am currently 12 weeks with no 2 and won't be having one this time
• They seem popular in my circle of friends, although we don't do expensive gifts. Usually I have sewn or knitted something, or we provide practical gifts like nappies, bibs etc. It's basically a girly afternoon with cake and nibbles and lots of baby talk! It's also an opportunity for mums to pass on clothes and other things their LO's have grown out of.
  I wouldn't organise one for myself, I think it's something that is usually done by friends or family. If you want to organise a get-together for yourself and don't want presents, then avoid calling it a "shower" - maybe a "Babymoon Gathering" or something, and have an activity that people can join in with rather than provide presents. Maybe they can bring a small object, natural if possible, to hang on a baby mobile (from a pinecone to sheep's wool to a glitter covered-twig!). Could they all bring a single bead to string onto a bracelet or necklace for you to wear during labour? Maybe they could paint your belly with facepaint for lovely keepsake photos!
• I think they are tacky.
  It's almost like having two bites of the cherry - a baby shower gift and a gift when the baby arrives.
  why dont you hold a coffee morning/ brunch instead where you and the girlies can have a natter and plan a date for after the birth when you can organise a night out?
• I organised a baby shower for my sister for her first, and then together we organised a surprise for another sister for her first. There was no baby shower when they were pregnant with their siblings. People brought their presents then and they didn't receive gifts after the birth from those people. Some people came empty handed and said that they would give the gift after the birth.
  It's down to each individual what they want to do and the day/evening can be as simple as you want it to be.
  We used it to gather friends and family, some travelling from a distance, that the mum to be hadn't seen for a while, and wasn't likely to see for a while after the birth and used it to have food, drinks, party games etc and everyone had a great day.
  I know I won't be having one due to me living so for away from family and most friends which I'm quite happy about, similar to yet another sister who had a baby earlier this year and didn't have one....or if she did I wasn't invited! Lol.
• I also did a 'no gift' one . A couple of friends did bring gifts but didn't buy anything when she was born (of course didn't expect them to).
  We did games and had food and was a nice time to catch up with all my girl friends before.
• I made sure I had a night out. After carrying 6lb twins and going through an emergency c-sect I was going to make darn sure that I went out for a curry that I couldn't eat for the last 6 months due to acid indigestion.
• I think most people who have a baby shower don't expect gifts at both the shower and the birth, and really would just like a nice girly afternoon that focuses on the excitement of the upcoming new baby before the chaos begins. After the birth you are tired, overwhelmed, perhaps can't or won't leave the baby for the afternoon, won't be able to catch up properly with friends the same way if you have the baby with you, etc.