09 Mar 2015

A question about : Would you ever inform the police of your child's criminality?

As an offshoot from the recent EastEnders tale, what, if anything, would make you grass up your kids to the police.

We will assume in our case that the child is a sixteen year old boy who does not have a criminal record. Which of the following offences would you report him to the police for?

In each the case, he fully admits the offence to you but the chances of him being linked by the police for it by other means, other than you informing on him, are negligible.

You can make multiple selections.

1) Found a couple of cameras in his bedroom, which he shoplifted.

2) Found jewellery in his bedroom, that he had stolen whilst burgling someone's house.

3) Found Class A drugs in his bedroom which he was using for personal use.

4) Found Class A drugs in his bedroom which he was supplying to others.

5) Found on his computer lots of downloaded child pornography.

6) Found a knife in his room which he used to commit a wounding (not life threatening) on another youth.

7) Found in his bedroom a knife he used to threaten a counter assistant whilst committing a robbery in a shop

8) Found a gun in his room which he was storing for someone else.

9) Found a gun in his room which he admitted, under the threat of death, he's been forced to use to murder someone.

10) Found a gun in his room that he had used in a robbery in a shop, during which he'd deliberately shot and killed the shop keeper.

I'm sorry I forgot to put in an option of I'd never grass my kids up to the police for anything.

Best answers:

  • I think it was last year seeing a bank had been robbed in Liverpool at gunpoint. It turned out that the gun was a fake and the lad was about 14 and had previously been of good character. When she found out his Mum marched him down to the police. I can't remember exactly but he got a few years jail and at the time the Mum and many other people thought it was harsh given that nobody had been injured ......... (other than the bank staff who were obviously scared). The thing was, here was this kid who was not one of the regular scallies, and what was going to happen to him locked up with scummy deadbeats. I think i remember seeing the Mum saying she wished she'd never turned him in.
  • Jeez that is way to much information to think about on a Saturday night after a glass of wine! I'm sure the answers will be interesting and I'll come back tomorrow to read and give my reply.
  • I have no kids but assuming I did my answers are:
    yes
    yes
    no (but his butt would be grounded)
    yes
    yes
    yes
    yes
    no (but i would want to know who the gun belonged to and then shop that person)
    no (i wouldn't shop him but if the police came knocking i wouldn't lie for him either)
    yes
  • I'd like to think all of them.
    But replacing child with family member (I'm way too young for children!) I'd probably find it hard to report them for anything.
    Though pigs would fly before they did any of them.
  • I don't have a son. So these doesn't apply to me.
    You also said the child would be 16. That gives me another 8 years to get the replies ready.
    It is very difficult. I have only one child after so many problems. I honestly don't know what I will do. I am a very law abiding person. But would I grass up my daughter to the police? Oh dear! what a horrible situation to be in. Just from instinct I would say yes to everything except 3. From experience, when sad things happen to me mostly heart wins over head. I am not sure if it applies to criminality though.
  • My husband and I said no to all, we as his parents know our son and if this was way out of character, as it would be, then there must be something else going on and we would do our best to deal with it. If he was working his way down the list on his 3rd or 4th possibly less, crime I would I think turn in him.
    Obviously though no of us know exactly how we would react in that situation.
  • Drugs for personal use would be less of a problem for me than shoplifting or killing.
    Drugs for personal use I could talk to the child about, but everything else - down the nick with ya!
  • Interesting question. Will have to think but the one that has currently got the most votes for telling police (child pornography) is the one we didn't inform on a neighbours child for.
    He had recently turned 16 and he hadn't given a great deal of thought to him viewing a website called '15 and topless'. My husband had a word with him about why not to do this (he'd asked husband to have a look at his laptop due to a problem with it- husband works in IT). I suspect most people aren't thinking of scenarios like this.
    Earlier today, our almost 15yo son who'd been watching a borders control documentary started coming out with 'foolproof' (to him!) ways to smuggle drugs. I told him I didn't want him in a foreign prison and that the Prison Officers would tell him what to do more than I did, but DH shut him up the best, he mentioned that he'd be 'young fresh meat'. That did the trick.
  • I would guess all except one, but even then he would me made to take them back.
    When I was 10 I remember stealing a five pound note from school. It was in an envelope in a schoolkids tray\drawer and they just happened to sit next to me in class.
    Later that evening my Mother heard about me running around with this fiver, she hauled me in and confronted me, I still had it on me. In the end she got it out of me (as only Mums know how) and I confessed. Take into account, 30+ Years ago a fiver was a lot of money.
    Unfortunately for me, it turned out this kids Mother lived at and ran a shop down the road.My Mother marched me there, I was made to tell her I had stole this money from school, apologise and hand it over.
    I never EVER stole again. I would hope that I could teach my Son that lesson at an early age, should he ever dare do something like that.
  • Surely as much as you love your kids, there comes a point when if they did anything criminal, you'd realise you've...what's the word...failed? Not really though, because I believe there is an element of "nature" in criminal behaviour. It is not ALL about nurture. So violent crimes (rapes, stabbing...) IMO indicate a level of psychopathy that would not have have been "cured" by the best parenting. It will manifest in different ways whether the child is from a "stable, well to do family" or a "poor" family, because the environment does play a part, but it WILL manifest.
    So to sum up, depending on the crime, I would either get them help after a stern talking to (ie: shoptlifting, fighting), or I would definitely report to the police if more serious and an indication of psychopathy (robbery, rape, stabbing..). There are some things that are unforgivable, no matter who does them.
    Edit: I kinda lost where I was going with that...
  • Probably the most stupid survey I have seen on here. You never know what you would do until you come face to face with any situation.
  • I said "no" to first one - because that would be a case where he would be marched back to the shop with the goods. I meant to say no to 3 because that would be a case to be dealt with by the medics, but can't change my mistake with voting.
    All the others would most definitely be yes!
  • When my son was little, we were in Woolworth, he kept asking for sweets, i told him no and why, he kept on and went very quiet, he took a pick n mix sweet.
    i told him that you can't just take sweets without paying no matter how much you want them, took him to the security guard by the door and told him what my son had done and asked him what he would do about it, the security guard just laughed, i was hoping for him just to have a talk to him, to tell him it was wrong.
    Security thought it was funny.
  • All of them!
  • You forgot to add ......
    "Accidentally killed older half-sister with a small jewellery box"
    Obviously we'd just all have a big hug and forget about it!
    I'm just sitting here discussing this with my 17 yr old. I'm saying "Yes, I'd grass you up for that one, and that one and probably that one" etc etc.
    He just told me....."You'll have a job finding my guns and drugs anyway, you never clean my room hahaha"
    (Which is true!)
  • You'd need to tell the Police about all of them, except possibly nr 8 and nr 3
  • I'm shocked that nearly a quarter of respondents wouldn't report a deliberate murder.