Wife not interested in ЈЈЈ

A question about : Wife not interested in ЈЈЈ

Bit of advice please.

My wife shows absolutely no interest in financial matters. She works full time and doesn't like to spend money as a rule. She is 100% into our kids, her job and has other interests - but money is not one of them.

So I basically run our household finances - pay all bills, make all decisions. I used to make comments from time to time along the lines of do you think we should save X/ take insurance against Y? but she always glazed over really quickly, so now I just do it.

Our wages go into a joint account & I take over from there.

For big spends like her car or holidays, we will talk over what sort of thing we want, and then she will go and choose something with the budget I suggest.

One of my concerns is that if I get hit by a truck, she will have absolutely no idea what and where our assets are- I guess I need to spell it out in a document somewhere? The other concern I have is that I'm not sure this is a particularly healthy way to run a modern family's finances. I also feel quite a responsibility not to screw up.

Any views? Is this an OK situation or do I try to change things?

Best answers:

• I had to check your user ID then...my hubby could have written that except I dont work. If he got hit off his bike tomorrow I would be scuppered.
• I have a similar issue, although in reverse - my husband isn't really interested. He knows where all the paperwork is kept, and has a working knowledge of the different ISAs/bank accounts we have... but would probably miss some 'pots' if I asked him to list where all our money was.
  This has made me a little worried now. I shall also have a think about writing him a list...
• Am I married to you OP?
  As someone has just said, we all play to our strengths. My OH loves playing around with numbers and spreadsheets while I find it all a big yawn. All our money goes into one account each month and he moves it around to wherever it needs to be. We do sit down on a regular basis to go over budgets and plan large expenditure (holidays, house improvements) and he has a record of all the accounts, passwords etc that I can access should he ever be hit by the proverbial bus.
  And while he's doing all of that I'm doing my own thing, whatever that happens to be. Usually the ironing ...
• I know the feeling! My OH has no interest in money except spending it. His wages come into the joint account and I distribute it where it needs to go, bills, car, petrol, holiday etc. Then I give him pocket money once per month and he blows it
  I know what it's like to have all the responsibility, choosing car insurance, house insurance, making sure the bills get paid on time, what's the best way to pay etc. It's a lot of work when your on your own. I supose at least I know things will get done right lol.
  That stuff isn't too bad, it's when it comes to mortgage switching and I have to do it all on my own, it gets to me!!
  He's one of those people who doesn't even open his statement when it comes in, let alone look at the transactions! He has an ISA but doesn't understand or bother to learn what that is. So annoying sometimes.
  I was thinking of keeping a little list for him, but I think if I get hit by a bus today, I will have more fun watching him from the afterlife trying to sort himself out (evil laugh)
• Its the same here but oppsite way round.
  Be lucky your wife is not a big spender!! My OH spends all his usally in the first week and then struggles for the rest of the month
  I cant budget him I have tried so now I just leave him to it, after all its his spending money. (I seperate the bills from his spending money first lol)
  I wouldn't worry to much if the *worse* did happen people have a way of coping. She'd figure it out, although keeping a record of 'where' things are if its comlicated and letting her no wouldn't be the worsed idea...
  If anything was to happen at least she would know where to start, but I wouldn't try and change anything as people are who they are.
• I don't see the point in changing things if they're working. We all have strengths and weaknesses and if your DW is happy not knowing and living within your means then leaver her be.
  My DH set up all of our utilities when we first moved in together, it's all in his name and it's never really occurred to me to think about it. I guess I ought to at least have a record of who we're with and account numbers etc should the worst happen and I need to take control over them! Converseley, he doesn't have much to do with our banking/mortgage so I really ought to leave him a list of our accounts so he'll know what to access/cancel should the worst happen to me.
  I've been meaning to do this for some time TBH but this has reminded me that it's time to take charge and actually make a list for both of us, although I dearly hope it'll never be needed.
• My parents have a loose leaf folder (well my mother has as its her who deals with the finance) and in its all the financial and other information required if she or both of them are run over by a truck. This folder is kept up to date, even has her plot number in the local graveyard in case my dad forgets!
• I deal with all the finances in the house dh just isn't interested and is terrible with money, I was once accused of babying him but the way I look at it if this was a business you would only have one person or department dealing with the finances otherwise chaos would ensue.
  I have a ring binder with all the dates of direct debits, all passwords encrypted of course and all policies passports etc, not only for if something happened to me but so in the event of a fire I can grab the binder and know everything is in it.
• As others have said, there's no harm in playing to your strengths.
  I do the finances in our house, mainly because I've always worked in banking, so I'm used to figure work and admin. I don't find it a chore, I like it. However, we do discuss large purchases and make joint decisions on major expenditure.
  I've made notes about all our accounts etc, so in the event of my demise,he will have somewhere to start.
  My husband does things like decorating, which I'm no good at.
  We are comfortable with the split of tasks
• I wrote an almost identical post some months ago as I'm in an identical situation with my wife. If I mention anything to do with money to her she starts having panic attacks and refuses to talk about it.
  If I get hit by a truck tomorrow she'll be safe in the knowledge that she point blank refuses to move any of our 'savings' from our comedy 0.1% interest current account into an ISA or higher rate savings account. Any mention of it has her shouting at me to stop talking about it. I gave up talking about it with her some time ago. There's just no point as she likes to have all her eggs in one basket so to speak. She has absolutely zero financial sense refuses to see the benefits in moving money around to make the most of it.
  I might just do it without telling her...
• My wife is not really interested in the finances either and I look after everything.
  I use an application called Quicken to manage my finances and have over 10 years worth of data in it. It details every account we have, including savings, credit cards, mortgage etc.
  I then have an encrypted file that has the account numbers, usernames etc, phone numbers of companies. Everything she would need if I wasn't here and she knows how to get to the encryped file and what its password is.
• Was thinking about this today actually as it is the opposite for us, with me dealing with all the finances. Slightly different as we aren't married... we don't even have a joint account! (something i've been hassling my OH about for ages but he keeps changing the subject). Its difficult as I earn twice what he does, so I am happy to pay a bigger share, but for me it's more about the responsibility than the money itself.. Everything is in my name, he wouldn't have a clue who our utility suppliers are, or when the council tax is due... I tell him how much he owes for the bills & he gives it to me.. but it would be nice to share some of the responsibility!!
• I do think writing things down somewhere is a good idea. OH and I have separate finances, but he deals with all of the household bills. I'm the one that's obsessed with budgeting, but I don't care much for dealing with the house!
  I know that if OH wasn't around, I wouldn't have a clue how to deal with the gas, electric or water. I wouldn't know how to go about moving to a new home and getting it set up with everything it needed. I'd love for him to write me an 'Idiot's Guide to Renting a House'! I did bring it up in conversation once, but half-heartedly. There's no easy way to say "You know, if you die, I won't have a clue how to deal with the electric bill".
  I know it's not exactly the same situation, but when you're in a partnership the two halves do different things. I suppose we all have aspects that our other half deals with, and that we don't quite understand.
• but what is that agreement when you sign something to agree---of course it is a will but there is another version when your relationship is in chaos and you split up and you have to get a solicitor to find what everybody is entitled to....???? i need help i know a friend is in this situation
• I am the one who saves, not spends, researches and moves money around to get the bext rates, has multiple accounts etc. - all in my name.
  DH deals with the household bills and despite asking on numerous occasions to get these dealt with in a joint account he has not done so, so I too would be scuppered if he was killed on the M1, except that I have savings so would get it sorted eventually.
  He thinks I am trying to get rid of him if I mention it - LOL.
• It's not as simple as just making a will. Your partner needs to be able to cope without you. To dootherwise is not doing her a favour. I have known many old women who have been totally sheltered from the day to day financial decisions of running a house. When they were widowed they were just at sea and dido not even have a cheque book!