26
Feb
2015
A question about : Things you never thought you'd ever say
I shall start
Steve (my husband), you hold that chicken while I rub its knees
Best answers:
- Nick, (my boss) I think you should fire my colleague because he is a complete idiot!
- At work this week-
I'll open the shop when I've cleared the ceiling off the floor and we can find the toilet. - Nick, (my boss) please will you fire me, cause I'm an idiot.
- Is death a 10 when we score severity. They'll know that death is going to happen so if it's with warning, that's a 9 isn't it.
- Before you throw it away, let me see if I can fix the stapler.
*pauses, looks at 'broken' stapler*
Or just refill it with staples. - Yes of course dogs have hearts
- "oh look, the moon's moved"
- "You lads alright or do you want pulling off?"
I meant towing their broken down van off a roundabout - I want a dancing broom
(seasonal item in Sainsbugs) - No it's all right i'll get them, it's my round.
- Helping a friend to move house yesterday to a 3rd floor apartment:
"The problem I have is getting it up" - Today.
(Husband to my mother) " I've put the Nut Roast for the badger in a doggy bag " - Yesterday:
"The wire spears & the pigs are on their way" (28mm scale model pigs are tough to scratch build.)
Last month
"Oh, go on then" - to husband's hopeful reading aloud of an email about the cost of a sword blade... - Me to H2B: "You hold it and I'll shove it in - Just make sure the cat doesn't try and eat it"
Me to friend: No wonder it looks funny, - that's a knee not an elbow - you can link Cliff Richard to Charles Manson in about 3 moves.
- (Wife when cleaning inside the washing machine)
I am sick of cleaning out this fluck and muff (should have been muck and fluff) - Well I never thought I'd see Superman doing that to Lois.
- Oh look, your salami's hanging out!
This was said to my 3yr old daughter while eating a sandwich.
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