Please advise me, God I need some clarity...

A question about : Please advise me, God I need some clarity...

I have posted about this a couple of times but have some full facts now that might enable somebody somewhere to guide me?

My wife, having had an affair for the last 11 months has decided to leave me. We have 2 children involved aged 7 and 12, and I am gutted. We are also poor as a result of poor financial planning, and I guess we are classic credit crunch contributors.

We live in a house that is worth at best Ј300000, with a mortgage of Ј174500 (interest only) - yes I know we are idiots. worse, we have 4 adults named on the mortgage and a declaration of trust that gives 2 of them (my parents in law) a minimum of Ј150k if we sell, and half of whatever a bigger sum may be.

We have a personal loan with a current settlement of Ј12024.37

A credit card with Ј8500 outstanding (in my name although she has a duplicate card with her name on it)

Another credit card with Ј7354 outstanding (in my name via the bank where we have our joint current account.

The borrowing is as a result of maintaining a lifestyle for all of us, beyond our means and also includes family holidays. So stupid, but I wasn't expecting the affair and this crisis- still stupid though.

We have some HP agreements that are all due to finish this year (in the next 4 months)

2 store cards - one with Ј200 left on it and one with Ј400

we have one final agreement with a finance company for a suite that is worth approx Ј1k now.

My salary is Ј40k - no other income.

I need to set myself up with somewhere to live etc. and I need to do the right thing by the kids. With no money or savings what course of action do you suggest I take. Its so hard here and I need to get something sorted no matter how hard it is.

Best answers:

• I'm sorry to hear that. I suggest posting a full Statement of Affairs for advice on your finances.
• In your shoes, the first thing I would, is stop the additional Cards on the two Accounts.
  The last thing you need, is for your wife to go on a spending spree with them.
• She wouldn't because she is also panicking money wise. But I have cut them up!
• Your wife hasn't decided to leave: she's decided that you must go. Don't go anywhere until you are ready and have your debt-repayments all sorted. Seems to me that you'll need to get onto a formal debt management plan in order to have any funds to pay for somewhere else to live.
• You need to close all credit cards, joint cards, bank accounts, and access to cash for her.
  Her saying she won't saddle you with any more debt could well be short lived.
  It gets nasty, this seperation business, you are landed with all sorts of debt already - don't let it get any worse.
  Cutting them up counts for nothing, she can just give a new address, and ask for a new one.
  Do letters cancelling everything, get her to sign it, take copies, and send it yourself.
• So, she is leaving you and moving out? Make sure you separate yourself from her financially asap. Then go to CAB and get some proper advice.