26 Feb 2015

A question about : Northerners.

Once upon a time, in the Kingdom of Heaven , God went missing for six days.
Eventually, Archangel Michael found him on the seventh day resting..
He enquired of God, 'Where have you been?'

God pointed downwards through the clouds. Archangel Michael looked
puzzled and said, 'What is it?'
'It's a planet,' replied God, 'and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to
call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance.'
'Balance?' inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, pointing down to different parts of the Earth.
'For example, North America will be a place of great opportunity and
wealth, while South America is going to be poor; the Middle East over
there will be a hot spot, and Russia will be a cold spot. Over there
I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent
of black people.'

God continued, pointing to the different countries.

This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very
cold and covered in ice.'

The Archangel , impressed by God's work, then pointed to another area
of land and asked, 'What's that?'

'Ah,' said God. That's the North of England, the most glorious place
on earth. There are beautiful people, seven Premiership football teams
in the North West alone, and many impressive cities; it is the home of
the world's finest artists, musicians, writers, thinkers, explorers
and politicians. The people from the North of England are going to be
modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found
travelling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and
high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as
speakers of truth.'

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, 'What
about balance God, you said there will be BALANCE!'

God replied very wisely,
'Wait till you see the bunch of tossers I'm putting down South !'

Best answers:

  • All I can say to that is, Bradford.
  • from an estranged geordie living (still northernish) in Yorkshire
  • From a Geordie living in Geordieland
  • another from geordie land......
  • Good God a quartet of Geordies
  • a Geordige that 'escaped' to the South Coast
    I'll be sharing that around the family
  • I am a foster Geordie, I think PP?
  • Not a Geordie...but I am a Northerner....well north midlands- ish!! ( does that count??)
  • It's not where you're from it's where you're at.
  • As someone who is neither a Northerner nor a Southerner (I'm a bootiful Norfolk bor) I can say objectively and without fear of contradiction that Northerners are, by and large, a pleasant and friendly group of people and I like living amongst them and their unusual ways.
    Southerners on the other hand are a bunch of !!!! sucking !!!!s who wouldn't know their arses from their dicks even if you installed neon signage. And the closer to London, the bigger the !!!!.
  • I also like Midlanders, in case anyone cared.