Keeping up appearances.......

A question about : Keeping up appearances.......

Welcome to my debt-free diary. I am going to use it to monitor my progress as I start my (very) long journey towards debt freedom. I hope it will inspire me to stay motivated when the going gets tough. Because the going WILL get tough from time to time - I have an absolute marathan ahead of me.

Today I have totalled up all our debts..... Including our mortgage, the scary bottom line is Ј127,899.00!! If I deduct the mortgage, we are still left with the very frightening figure of Ј69,579.00 (give or take a few quid) unsecured debt. It will get a bit worse between now and payday (15th of each month) as we have very little money to live on and a few bills coming up.

So, why have I called my diary 'Keeping Up Appearances'? Well, on the face of things my husband and I are a lucky couple. Both working full-time and earning good money. We live in a lovely house (worth more than double our total debt), have two gorgeous children who are now grown-up and away at university, run two cars, own another house which we rent out etc etc. We seem to have it all. And I suppose we DO have it all - we just haven't actually paid for it yet!!

The worst thing? My husband doesn't have a clue how much we owe. I have taken sole charge of our money for years, and what a mess I have made of it! I have had personal problems, which are now resolved, but which made me lose touch with reality for a while. I'm not using that as an excuse, but it does partly explain what has happened.

My husband is one of the nicest, kindest men you could ever meet and he really does not deserve to be in this mess. He knows we are in debt and need to watch our spending, but he does not know the extent. And I intend to keep it that way. I will scrimp and scrape and save and earn and do whatever it takes to reduce and eventually clear our debt, but it will be done without him knowing. He is a worrier and not in the best of health, so I do not intend adding to his stress by telling him the extent of our money problems. Not that he would be angry or leave me or anything - he wouldn't - but he would be so worried and disappointed and it would break his heart.

He trusts me to take care of our finances, and for a long time that trust was misplaced. Well, now he finally CAN trust me and I will not let him (or myself) down any longer. Then, when the debt is less heart-attack-inducing, it will be something we can work on together.

So, I am going to crunch some figures and get some inspiration and I will be back.

Best answers:

• HI
  Welcome
  You have taken the first step in accpeting that your debt is a problem
  You should post up a SOA (statement of affairs) then you will get the most help and advice from others in cutting back and paying off the debts.
  There are loads of good ideas for cutting back and saving money on these threads
• Thanks for the response cutestkids. I will definitely do a full budget and soa and I will post it up here. Just now though I am going to have to concentrate on PRACTICAL stuff as my daughter has got up and I don't want her to see this.
  So.... it's a few hours cookery for me using up all the bits of food in our fridge that would usually just go off and be thrown away. I'm making a huge pan of home-made soup, plus an enormous chilli. I've chosen recipes that freeze well and I am setting myself the challenge of not doing another supermarket shop until payday. I'll just buy milk/bread etc as needed.
  I'm feeling quite excited about all this
• Hi HappyNow
  I will keep an eye out for your SAO just off to do some cooking and other stuff as well now
• Well the cooking went well so that will have definitely saved a few pounds. And we still have chocolate and wine left over from Christmas, so I should be able to keep the spending very lean until payday on 15th.
  Unfortunately we had to pay Ј180 for unavoidable car repairs yesterday, but although that's a lot of money it could have been much worse because a mechanic friend ordered the parts for us at cost and my husband did the work himself. That's the worst thing about running an older car......
  I went through our budget yesterday evening, and it will be tight but we can manage Ј1000 per month onto our credit cards. I got quite excited about that, but actually the debts on them are so high that even the minimum payments are Ј960 per month!! They are all on low or zero interest though, so at least the Ј1000 will be knocking a hole in the debt, not just all going on interest. And any savings that I can make on our budget will be paid straight off our most frightening card - an MBNA one which has a balance of .... gulp.... Ј14,279. It's currently on zero interest but that will change within a couple of months when about Ј5K of it will shoot up to their standard interest rate. Obviously I will shuffle that Ј5K onto another card, but that will incur a transfer fee and I really want to get it paid off asap.
  I will post a SOA on here, but I know I will need a thick skin for some of the comments I might get. For instance, I have to budget Ј204 per month minimum for the upkeep of our animals. There are other things on it that look terrible too, so I think I will wait until I feel a bit emotionally stronger to post it. In the meantime I will be working on it quietly in the background, trimming it as much as possible.
• Update time!
  Yesterday I started my money make-over. I checked my electricity supplier and, although Scottish Power still came out cheapest, they had a different tariff which was cheaper still. I rang them and they moved me straight onto it. The new tariff, combined with a hefty credit on the balance, meant that I have reduced our payments from Ј115 to Ј80.50 per month. I know our electric charges are high, but there is no gas where we live so our consumption is high. I have started to be much more careful with our useage too - turning off lights, running the washing machine and dishwasher during Economy 7 hours etc.
  I also checked out mobile contract - it covers three phones and our internet and totals Ј94 per month. We're tied in until Dec 2012, BUT I found an error on the bill whereby we have been paying Ј4.25 per month too much (for a text bundle which should be free). I rang them too and they have removed the Ј4.25 and backdated it to last December, so that's Ј51 off our next bill plus an ongoing reduction!
  Did a small Tesco shop for fresh produce. I still spent Ј39 but all of it was essential and I tried lower brands than usual. I hope they're OK because there are great savings to be made there.
  So, all in all a very positive start to 2012 and I feel very upbeat and focussed!
• Wanted to wish you lots of luck. Hope you feel up to posting you soa soon.
• Hi Happy .... just wanted to wish you all the best in your quest to get rid of the debt - will pop back now & then & see how it's going.
  The SOA is a great idea when you find time - often we thing we're paying the "average" for something and it's only when several people say "I pay 1/2 that!" that we realise we need to do some searching around to get a better deal!
• Good luck with your journey. You have made a good start, and are adopting the right attitude. Without wishing to trivialise the issues, if you see it as a challenge, aspects of it will be satisfing, even enjoyable at times. From my own experience, using up leftovers, reducing power use etc can be explained as being 'green' if necessary - and of course, it is!
• Good luck HappyNow - it takes a lot of courage to start tackling debts of any size, particularly when you are doing it on your own. You're already making some brilliant changes! Don't be afraid to post up your SOA etc. - you may get some uh, direct advice hehe but please take it in the spirit it's meant, which is helping you to reduce that debt and get a handle on your money as quickly as possible!
  I totally understand your reasons for not wanting to involve your husband in this, and it sounds like you can make inroads into your debt without sharing it. Maybe it's something you can talk to him about later down the line when you have a clearer idea of exactly how to tackle the debt and how long it will take to pay off? The stress should be reduced then because you have concrete goals to work towards rather than just a mess of finances! I'm just suggesting this because tackling such a large debt could mean changes in your lifestyle, and it will be oh so much easier to make those with a partner in crime to bounce things off If you decide not to, you will always have a place to rant and share on the MSE forums!
• Wow, thank you all so much for your supportive replies, I genuinely wasn't expecting that!
  I will finish my Money Makeover and then, when I have got our expenses down as far as I can alone, I will definitely put up my SOA as everyone seems to think it is a good idea. Our debts ARE massive, as are our monthly outgoings, but there is a lot that I can do to shave some off these. And we are both working so we have a reasonable monthly income. My task isn't impossible, but it will be slow and at times disheartening, and I need to keep this diary going so I don't lose focus.
  Today I am going to clean out all our kitchen cupboards. There are things in there that went off literally years ago and need to be thrown out! Once I've done that I will be able to see exactly what we have left and look for recipes accordingly so that nothing else is wasted. I'm going to investigate the old-style board today too as I have heard wonderful things about it.
  Onwaaards!
• Hi Happy New Year
  Well done for the changes you have already made.
  With regards the cheaper brands for food shopping, I buy most things supermarket own brand and to be honest the difference is practically non existant.
  Tesco cereals are great and less than half price compared to the brands, also if you have Lidl or an Aldi near you the quality is really good and the prices are fantastic for a lot of things.
• Hi Happy,
  Just want to wish you good luck. I also have a well paid job and find the expectations of what other people think I should be able to spend a pain. Saying I can't afford that is not believed I've found that the house move has allowed me to say, 'we've had some extra expenses so we need to tighten the purse strings a bit' and people seem to take that much better for some reason.
  Anyway, fingers crossed for you xx
• Hello, time for another update, and thanks again for the comments.
  Cutestkids - I tended to use supermarkets own-brands for lots of stuff anyway, but this time I have tried some of their Value range. I opened the box of tissues today (48p!) and I am very impressed. Not only does the quality seem as high as the premium brands, but also the box doesn't look too 'value-ey' on my dressing table - just white with a red band around, no visible blue stripes to give it away. We do have a Lidl nearby so I will investigate that soon, thanks for the suggestion.
  Flacosfloozie - yes, you're absolutely right. People just assume that my husband and I are financially OK because we both have good jobs and are older (I'm 52). If only they knew!!
• Today I have continued with my Money Makeover. Because it's all a bit daunting, I have decided to focus on one area of expenditure per day. And today's project was our animals. Gulp.
  We have seven animals in total that seem to have joined us over the years, made up of horses, dog, cats and a chicken. I have estimated that I need to budget Ј204 per month for their upkeep. I KNOW this is outrageous, but there is no way I could part with any of them. And maybe they are slightly moneysaving, because caring for them keeps me fit and active, and while I'm mucking out horses/walking the dog I am not spending on anything else. Hmm, not convincing I know.....
  Horses. We have our own stables and land so there are no livery costs, but even so, horses are not cheap to keep. However, I have checked our feed/bedding bills and now know who is our cheapest supplier and will buy only from there in future. I have also weighed their feed to check I am not accidentally over-feeding. Both horses are quite old (so selling/re-homing isn't an option) and when anything happens to them I will not be replacing them, and might even be able to rent out our stables to bring in some money.
  Cats. The cats have been down-graded to Tesco's own dried cat food from Go-Cat. They don't appear to have noticed!
  Dog. She is a young, growing dog so I need to keep her on a premium food, but I do weigh it carefully and don't over-feed, and I have found the cheapest supplier. Her insurance is due for renewal next month so I will shop around.
  The chicken. Costs virtually nothing to keep but unfortunately has retired from egg-laying!
  I think my estimate of Ј204 per month is about right. Horses cost much more to keep in winter than summer, so I have averaged the cost over a year and have set up an 'animal' bank account which I will pay into each month. Apart from our dog, none of the animals are insured due to being elderly, so I have included Ј80 per month towards vet bills. Self-insuring as Martin calls it. That figure is a total guess, but if we don't need to spend on vet bills and the balance builds up (fingers crossed!) it can be put towards a credit card debt.
  The dog and cats are all overdue for worming/flea-prevention. I have just spent an hour comparing prices at online suppliers and I reckon I've saved Ј10, with 5% Quidco to come. Impressive!
• Hello, just wanted to drop by and say good luck
  Its a tough journey, but one we are all determined to succeed in.
  I can see why you have your animals, I have debts that I want to get rid of, I have just lost my pony on NYE and really want another one so a good incentive to get rid of them!
  Lots of luck
• Just wanted to drop by and wish you loads of luck. I have only skim read you diary but I will subscribe. As you will see from my signature, we owe a pretty hefty amount of debt also and are only just starting out on our rather daunting journey. I have a diary which I have found is useful, if only to ramble away to your hearts content !! I will read your diary properly when I have more time, but just wanted to say Hi !
• Thanks for the replies Baldy and Pinot, I have found both your diaries and had a little nosey through them!
  So, today's acheivements so far:
  Christmas decorations all taken down and stored in the loft. I very frugally cut up some of this year's Christmas cards to make gift tags for next year, though I'll probably have forgotten that I've done it (or where I've put them) by December!
  My Money Makeover project for today was to check if our main bank account is the best one for me. It's a Barclays Premier account and there is a fee of Ј17.50 per month. This includes RAC cover, phone insurance (which I have used once) and comprehensive travel insurance, plus a few other bits that I can't imagine ever using. Although that does sound like poor value for money I have decided to stay with them for the time being at least. This is because I have a generous overdraft limit with them of Ј5000 which is at a reasonably cheap rate (first Ј1000 free, then 14.9%). I use the full Ј5000 towards the end of every month - in fact I am ashamed to admit that the account never goes into credit. The interest tends to be about Ј31-Ј34 per month. I can't imagine a new bank would offer me that sort of overdraft and, as I need it in full just now, I will sit tight. If anyone thinks I am wrong, please feel free to say so!
  The other thing I like about my Barclays account is that I have been able to set up four very simple savings accounts to sit alongside it, which will help me with the PiggyBanking system Martin recommends. I will set up standing orders for various expenditures to help with my monthly budgetting. That will perhaps mean I use my full overdraft quicker, but I do think it will help prevent over-spending and eliminate any unexpected expenses.
  Right, onwards again!
• Well, first day back at work today after two weeks holiday. Home-made chilli for lumch all packed and ready and apart from putting petrol in my car I promise there will be NO spending today.
• I have found your diary from Pinot's.
  Wanted to wish you well and have subscribed.