05 Mar 2024

A question about : Help me improve my situation :-(

Hi guys just looking for some help :-(

I'm starting a new job on Monday as a trainee Quantity Surveyor, after having 3 children in 3 years, being alone and in the benefits trap!

I'm gonna do an SOA now with my new info as tax credits etc have changed!

My partner has just moved in so tax credits have gone down a lot and he will be on a course next month for a very good job that should start January at the latest! I know once he starts work it will be so much easier but as the breadwinner I'm finding it hard coping!

I work full time go to college twice a week of a night straight from work and have 3 children aged 1,2 and 3! Then I have finance worries!

I have just received an attachment of earning on council tax even tho I'm only one month behind, my phone has been cut off and I'm panicking as my landlord wants my rent early this month due to my payday changing from 25th to 15th so gona be 6 weeks without wages!!!

Help me! I feel so stressed, covered in spots cos I'm stressed and run down and just want the best for me and the kids!

I'm now in a major dilemma too now as my 2 year old absolutely loves nursery and I can't afford it as no longer get the child are element of tax credits!

Il do an SOA now too x

Best answers:

  • okay firstly take a deep breath
    now you have done that i hope you are proud of yourself! what you are doing is amazing and you need to acknowledge that
    go and talk to the nursery see if there is anything they can do to help until january
    get a cuppa do your SOA and we will help as much as we can
    what i do when im tired is remind myself of all of the reasons i do what i do and think about a rough couple of months and then it will be on the up
  • Thank you :-)
    I know it will be worth it in the end, it's going to be a long hard struggle but worth it! I hate that I hardly see the kids, I missed out on so much with the 3 of them twice a week I don't see them for 24 hours at a time an that gets to me!
    I'm behind on nursery fees so tryin to catch up, might see about dropping to 1 day for my 2 year old just so it's something for him that should help me for a few weeks!
    I can't get any credit due to problems in the past, I have been very good living off no credit for about 3 years but I have a ccj for Ј4000 from unpaid tuition fees which were supposed to be paid by student loans company but they withdrew funding and I'm stuck with it :-( then a few days ago I got a letter from sse for electricity and gas for Ј400 from an old house a couple of years ago, then the council tax attachment, my phone bill and the worry of how to pay the rent!
    I just don't know where to start first!
  • you get used to not seeing them i think i have seen my kids for a total of 4 hours since monday but i find i appreciate every second i get with them more than i ever have done
    more credit is not going to help your situation
    why does the landlord want the rent early? surely you have a day you have to pay on and thats that
    start by doing your SOA and then go to bed and get a good nights sleep knowing you are stepping in the right direction make yourself one of these https://beauty.about.com/od/oilyskinm...Prone-Skin.htm and go and chill out
  • :-)
    Well I normally get paid the 25th and pay rent then but this month due to new job I will only be paid for 1 weeks work then I won't be getting paid until the 15th November from my new job, I have asked her about changing rent day and she wants it 15th this month and 15th from then on x
  • get it confirmed in writing that they are happy to change the date to the 15th see if she will do it from next month for you can you afford to pay 2 months worth of rent out of your first paycheck? have you also remembered to call all of your bills to move them so you dont get hit with loads of returned DD fees
    (i may have just here for 10 minutes writing a big massive thing about how your new job cant not pay you for that long before realising that november is next month hehehehehe)
  • Haha I know this year is flying by! I don't have any Xmas presents yet either :-(
    Thank you I'm going to bed now to have a good sleep ready to do a proper SOA and get everything sorted!
  • your ones are little you can get away with loads of boxes filled with shredded paper gliiter and everything messy they will love it
    jave a good rest and we will see you tomorrow xxx
  • Hope you got some good sleep last night! Its going to be very tough but with light at the end of the tunnel so thats positive! When your ready pop your SOA on and folk will happily advice!
    Good luck!
    Jodles
  • I have no practical advice but I wanted to congratulate you on your new chapter in your life. Sounds like things will work out for the better but you've a couple of tricky hurdles to jump first. Best of luck. Xxx
  • Firstly, congratulations on getting yourself out of the benefits trap and into work.
    As others have said, take a deep breath, and keep calm.
    Have you any relatives or close friends who can help out in the short term? In my own family, it is known for relatives to ask for short term help when they are stuck, and I know it happens in other families as well.
    Then sort out your SOA and post it on here. People will be able to advise and point out where you can help yourself. In the end, the main thing is to keep a roof over the heads of yourself and your kids. After that, it's the dreaded Council Tax, then the other debts.
    Do you qualify for the four week run on for Housing Benefit?
  • There are not enough superlatives in the English language to describe a Princess Coronation locomotive in full cry.
    We shall never see their like again' - O.S. Nock
    A fellow steamer methinks !!
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