Don't Panic!

A question about : Don't Panic!

Where to start..

Hi..

This is a breakdown of my financial situation and then I will go into the long old story about how I got into it!

Outgoings - Ј993.27
Mortgage: 317.64 (variable rate)
Rent: 430.00 (inc bills)
Car Insurance: 17.00
House Insurance: 20.88
Phone: 38.99 (can vary)
Loan Repayment: 160.42
Subscription: 8.34 (25.00 every three months)
Income - Ј1365-Ј1865
Wages: 1100.00 (With overtime +300.00-500.00)
Mum: 50 (sometimes 75.00 to help me out)
OH: Ј215 (towards rent)
Here's my story.

Up until just before I was 31, I lived at home with my mum (now 76). Being the youngest and only girl, mum has always been my responsibility which isn't too much of a hardship considering her age. She has wanted to live near my aunt since I was 15 but it's 300miles away from here and I didnt want to leave my school/job/friends etc. Before my 30th birthday I broke up from a long term relationship, changed jobs and had a health scare. It made me realise my life was passing me by and I had nothing to show for it. I decided I would like to own my own property and as I was going through a low patch with no friends to speak of, I decided to give my mum what she wanted and get a house near my aunt. The house prices were reasonable and I had visited a mortgage advisor who got me a mortgage of Ј65000. I had planned to save for a year to get the deposit but my mum and my aunt became really pushy and before I knew it, I had bought a house. It cost me all my savings, all my mum's savings and Ј1000.00 loan from my aunt. This left nothing for me or my mum to fall back on.

I tried for a year to get a job near my house to no avail and it was getting expensive having a house sitting empty. I started having more of a social life and started seeing someone. My mum in her old age was getting very controlling and it was becoming more and more difficult. It was decided that she move into the house and I rent a room in a shared flat. That way my house was well looked after, she could be near my aunt and I could get my independance. (She doesnt like this arrangement at all!)

My mum only lives on her state pension and pension credits so she doesnt pay any rent. She tries to help me out though by giving me a small sum of money every month.

Once on my own I guess the sudden freedom for the first time in my life got the better of me. I was spending money like I had an infinate amount and the guy I was seeing happily spent it for me and I happily let him. The BC was going higher and higher and I couldnt get the amount down. BC didnt help either. My limit when I moved into my flat was Ј2800. When I got near it, they made it Ј5200 and then when I got near that they increased it to Ј9200!! Not really encouraging me to sort my financial situation out. It was a first cc so the interest was a massive 27.9%apr

In January the guy dumped me, leaving me devestated. In an effort to show everyone I was coping and over it, I went out constantly and started drinking. When I wasnt out, I was working. I was spiralling down and down.

Then I got together with my OH. He was so supportive and it turned out we had very similar financial situations. Both had BCs mine about 200 more than his and we both had accounts with B'clays. He was on a reduced interest plan with BC which ended in September so we went to the bank for him to try and get it extended. While he was on the phone to them I spoke to a personal banker. She gave me a lot of information about loans. I decided to get a Ј5000 loan at 9.9%apr to be paid off in three years. I cannot tell you what a relief it was to clear my cc and be able to budget for the first time. Ј160.42 a month and all my extra overtime could go into savings to pay the loan off early. It was such a good situation that my OH did the same but for a longer period (5years, Ј105 p/m).

My OH moved in with me at the beginnning of this month and transferred to be able to work closer to home. His hours increased and we were saving to get a place of our own.

Everything seemed to be falling into place and we thought we were doing well budgeting and saving and looking towards the future. I was trying to get a new job, ideally for more money and less hours (I work 46-60hrs p/w) but the last three months I have applied for over 20 jobs with no luck. It was fine though as at least I had a job!

Last week my company told me that my level of management was being removed and we were going into consultation. It sounds like they have made up their minds as notice periods will be just before Christmas.. ( thanks!). I have a slim chance of promotion into the new management level but it's a joke of a job requiring a lot of travel, amounting to lots more hours but no overtime. I am now desperately trying to save money and find a new job.

So I thought I would get some support from you lovely people and write a diary for this difficult part of my life. My new moto is to keep positive and every cloud has a silver lining (Thanks to Fudgie's diary).

My grandfather used to say When there doesnt seem to be any hope left, something always turns up. I am hoping and praying he is right.

Soooo that's my lot. I will try and keep you all updated and I hope I haven't bored you with my loooooonnnngggg first post.

October

Best answers:

• Good Morning Diary and Diary Readers!
  So yesterday I had a rare day off from work and I sorted out somethings and put my first item to sell on E B of A! I am so proud of myself cos I have to admit I was nervous. I found out that I get 20 free listings a month though so I have a few other bits and pieces I am going to try and sell. You never know!
  I am going to try and save everything I get from E B of A as it can go towards paying my loan off early. OH and I did a big shop yesterday but it didnt cost me anything as he paid! Yay for teamwork. He has offered to pay the rent should the worst happen and I lose my job. Bless him.
  I haven't looked for any more jobs recently so need to get onto that this week and stop burying my head in the sand. I am also ashamed to say that my weightloss is non existant. Really need to start working on that, especially as I have lots of healthy foods in now. I also found a cookbook amongst my vast mass of belongings so want to try out some of the recipes. I find that my OH and I always end up having the same meals week in, week out.
  The other shameful confession I have is... I have 7 euromillions lotto tickets next to me that I still havent checked! My mum and my OH laugh at me because I dont like checking them. While they are sat in my purse there is the slight chance that I am a millionairess . The moment I check them, that hope disappears. I know it's silly and I dont normally leave it this long to check them but with things being a little stressful of late I have been buying them and then forgetting about them. So who knows, maybe my next diary entry will be that I have won the old lotto! (I wish!)
  I think that is all I have to tell you at the moment. I am keeping positive and I am looking forward to see if I make any money
  October xx
• Ok.. So I know this isn't millions but I won Ј3.30 on one of my lotto tickets! I am so chuffed and it's going straight into my holiday change fund!
  October xx
• Good Morning Diary and Diary Readers
  So yesterday was good. I won Ј3.30 on the lottery and then met my friend for a drink. We went to a cheap pub and as we both didnt drink alcohol the drinks only cost Ј2.50! We also made them last so we didnt spend anymore than that.
  I am working on an NSD day today. I made my lunch and the OH's lunch too. I have a voucher for a free coffee so going to get that in a bit.
  On the E B of A front, I have three people watching my first item so fingers crossed that will sell. It would be nice.
  My loan repayment goes out today, I need to get more accurate figures on my signature so I know where I am better. That's all for now. Might add more later.
  October xx
• Hi Diary and Diary Readers!
  Well my NSD yesterday didn't happen . However, I invested in a little notepad and I am keeping a diary of everything I spend money on. I am hoping it will show me exactly where my money goes so that I can fix things.
  I am struggling this week as I am not getting enough sleep. I am working 11.5hr days and finding it hard to keep my concentration levels up. I am managing to keep positive though, just a little concerned that it will fade due to tiredness. Going to try and get an early night tonight as the OH is out and not there to distract me.
  I am working long hours this week because I have a three day weekend. The OH and I are really geeky and love anything to do with comics, games, sifi etc. I bought tickets ages ago for MCM Comic Con at the London Excel. It's this weekend. The OH paid for our hotel so it just leaves the petrol and food to worry about. I am a little concerned. My OH is really into a game called Magic the Gathering. It is a card game but some of the cards (onecard!) can cost up to Ј50.00. He isn't stupid with buying them but they are going to have a massive section of Comic Con and he's already said he is going to use his CC to get some. I expressed my concerns but he thinks he will pay off the balance over three months. As I said before, he has his own Ј5000.00 loan and after he paid off his c/c he had about Ј600.00 which was going to be used to get his computer back up and running and then the rest saved to pay off the loan earlier. He has spent all the extra and now wants to use his CC. I said to him that the loan was pointless if he is going to run up his CC again. He is just going to put himself in an even worse position. He assures me he isn't but it still worries me.
  I know I don’t have much money left this month considering we have this big event. I have already told myself I am not going to spend money on things I really don't need. I want to get a souvenir but I am going to go into a draw for a DVD to be signed by Daniel Radcliffe and hope I get that. I am definitely not going to go crazy and I want to try and make sandwiches and meals so we aren’t spending a fortune on food. I am really excited about it though and I am looking forward to seeing all the different stalls, displays, talks and people dressed up. Its going to be super busy though so I am prepared for crowds and lots of walking. I may even drop a few pounds (weight not money!).
  That’s all I have today, so far anyway! Hope it is a good one.
  October xx
• Aww have fun at the Comic Con x
• Thanks Monz
  October xx
• Happy shiny new diary
  Keep posting!
• your working 11.5hr days - Make sure you make the time to take care of you ..p.s I did laugh at you buying notepad to record spends keep up the good work
• Hi Diary and Diary Readers
  Thank you for your comments and welcome to my diary of ramblings!
  Everyone on this forum inspires me so much. You have achieved such massive amounts in only a few years that it makes me think once my loan is repaid I am going towork on paying off my mortgage early. I am going to try and follow your inspiration and work on the bigger sums like my mortgage. Getting ahead of myself at the moment though!
  I was feeling very positive this morning but work has really got to me. I took a temporary step up back in May and was promoted by a manager that was two line managers above me. My direct line managers obviously did not like this decision and I was pretty much bullied. I was made to work on things that I obviously couldn’t do or was made to be on call on my only days off. I lost two members of staff all at once with very little notice and I worked really hard to cover their hours myself. I was working at one point 23 days with only one day off – this day I had to be on call so wasn’t able to do anything where I couldn’t answer my phone. The hours totalled 184hours paid time plus another 20 hours unpaid. I worked so hard I burnt myself out. It came to my day off and I was shouted at by my line manager because I refused to work it. She demoted me on the spot. Int he end I got signed off for two weeks. In those two weeks my line manager went through my work, ransacked my work space and got congratulated on a job well done. On my back to work interview I had two hours of criticism and promises of help which I never received. The bullying was swept under the carpet and I was deemed as incompetent. I had put it behind me and it was another push towards getting a new job. However, this morning a newsletter came out praising the other person who got the temporary position and it just made me feel like crap. I worked so hard, I don’t think I’ve ever worked so hard in my life and instead of recognition I got bullied and demoted. Then three months later they say we are going to be made redundant as though we are a problem for the business. It is heart-breaking that these people can get away with it. I know I would probably have a case but I don’t have the energy, strength or finances to go into a lengthy battle against a very big company. Especially as now it would just look like backlash from the redundancy announcements.
  I try not to let things get to me especially regarding work. I am working so many hours and I am so tired all the time it makes keeping positive so hard. I love to bake and have been exploring new recipes but I get home at 8pm having been at work since 8:30 and just have no energy. I spend most of my days off catching up on laundry and doing the weekly shop. Leaves so little time to do the things I enjoy or spend quality time with the OH. On a positive note though, all the extra hours are money in the bank so I really shouldn’t complain about them!
  Sorry, lots of ranting and not enough positive energy in this entry. Let’s see.. Well my goals in the short term are to pay off my Ј5000.00 loan. Two months payments have gone through now and the balance stands at Ј4758.51. I have Ј500.00/Ј1000.00 for my emergency fund and I have Ј120.11 which is also in my savings but I may need for the weekend as I only have Ј92.34 to last me until next Tuesday. Seems a lot for only six days but I have to pay Ј45.00 for parking at the Excel, petrol to go to and from London, food while I am in London and then whatever souvenirs I want from the weekend. Gosh.. writing it down like that makes me even more anxious about it.
  Ah well.. budgeting and not using the old Credit card is the aim, so even if I have to dip into the Ј120.11 at least it won’t increase my debts.
  This is a ridiculously long post and I apologise. Have a great day everyone!
  October xx
• You can do it!! Dont let them get to you thats what they want xx
• Just had a read of your diary. Enjoy comic con, worry about money next week .
• Thanks Monz, Thanks Calling
  Keeping cheerful
• Hiyas have a wonderful weekend and like others have said think about work next week xx
• Enjoy Comic-Con!
  If you're really worried why don't you pop to your local supermarket and get some snacky foods that you can take with you to Comic-Con? Treat yourself to a nice dinner but I'm sure you could rustle something up to have for lunch whilst there and breakfast items to tide you over - expos are notorious for high-priced food as you have nowhere else to go!
• "My mum only lives on her state pension and pension credits so she doesnt pay any rent. She tries to help me out though by giving me a small sum of money every month."
  Also, have you been to the benefits office at your mum's local council? We recently did this with my grandparents as they had previously seemed to do ok managing their own finances. With the addition of home visit-carer's in their care plan we finally convinced them we need to manage their finances just a bit externally to ensure they are receiving correct amounts. They had missed out on literally THOUSANDS of pounds and many of the benefits they were entitled to were back-dated upon a claim. Seems an obvious thing to do but I've spoken to several people who haven't done this. Don't ask, don't get when it comes to the system!
• Found your diary!!
  Work sounds awful. Big hugs for that Hun. I know it's non MSE thinking, but it sounds like being made redundant from that may actually be a good thing! I know it's scary to have to find something else and start afresh, but seriously, can it be any worse?!
  Enjoy comic-con, and I agree with the suggestion of taking your own drinks and snacks. Sounds like you and OH will benefit from having relaxation time together after working so had.
  Great suggestion re sauceoclock from your Mum too. As you are actually her landlord to some degree, should she not be getting some kind of housing benefit?
  Lucky Xx
• Hey Lucky and Sauceoclock
  I am pretty sure mum can't get benefits simply because she is renting from me. If she was renting from anyone but a spouse or family member it would be ok but as I am her daughter they think that between us we should have it covered or I should be living there. Same as me trying to get Housing Ben for my renting down here. I have a perfectly good house to live in, so I should either live in it or rent it out.
  A lot of my friends think I am crazy for letting my mum live there without paying any rent but my mum housed me up until I was 30 and she got me through some seriously tough times where I restricted her so much. I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks and they started very badly when I was 11. I clung to my mum like glue. She couldnt leave me even for a day without me having a meltdown. I was terrified of doctors so we couldnt go and seek medical advice or get medication. Between us we managed to make me into the confident woman I am today but if it wasn't for her sacrifices and help I would never have made it. I don't think anyone who hasnt had some form of Mental Health issue could understand how hard it is on everyone involved. I am so proud of myself for coming through it without taking medication and I thank my mum for a lot of that. So I tell my friends, I wont be charging her rent unless I have to and I definitely wont make her move out.
  It is a shame. One good thing is she doesn't have to pay council tax on the property as she is on her own and on pension credits.
  I am positive something will turn up and Lucky you are so right. The company is awful and even today I have been moaned at for the way I have booked my holiday. By Friday I will have worked 42hours in four days. My contract is 37.5. I had to book holiday to insure I could have the weekend off because according to them I should be working it as we are short staffed. I cant afford to keep spending my holiday on three day weekends that I should be entitled to have off anyway. I was a little cheeky and put 2.5hr per day so that I had the weekend off but only used one days holiday. My boss had a go at me, even when I explained why. She then implied that the staffing problems were my fault!! Nightmare company. Been very difficult not to get very upset today. OH is working nearby so we are going home together. Was tempted to go find him for a cuddle but I dont like disturbing him when he is working.
  Good grief. Sorry for the ranting again!! All positive though. Going to enjoy comic con this weekend and then I am going to go full steam into job hunting, slimming and E B of Aing!!
  October xx
• October
  My last job was a mental health employment advisor... I often said to clients, that if they didn 't /couldn't go down the harrassment route - get out.
  Redundancy may just be the new beginning you need... What do you do? What would you love to do?
  Love Mrs B
  Ps I have subscribed
• Thanks Bubblesmum.
  At the moment I would happily stack shelves in a supermarket just to have a rest from all the stress this job has given me. Unfortunately they do not pay anywhere near what I need to earn to pay my outgoings. I am in hope that I will find something and I have a good CV and plenty of experience in various fields so just need to knuckle down and find something
  It is so nice to be able to put this all down and not bottle it all up. I am hoping when I am in a better situation I can look back at these posts and see how far I have come. Early days but I am determined to stay positive and keep moving forward.
  It is lovely to have you lovely people joining me in my journey. I am slowly reading all your diaries. It just takes me a while to get up to date with so many pages!
  October xx