Diary of a money saving extremist... 2b continued

A question about : Diary of a money saving extremist... 2b continued

Ok i had this idea, rather late at night i must admit, but it may just work.

The following is the start of 'the diary of a Money Saving Extremist' how far can it go, just reply to continue the story, my start isnt the most inspirational, I'm sure you can do much better, but please always leave it with a ..... for someone else to take it up from there. !The tale is up to you

The sun scorched through the curtains, that always leaves me with a smile on my first as i can perkily race downstairs - turn the heating off and save electricity. !

Got the milk from the fridge, via the cat flap i've had fitted, it keeps the door closed longer and saves the whole place waking up. !

Called the missus down, knowing as she walked on the carpet the friction would........

Best answers:

• power the mini-fans she had on the back of her slippers and recharge the batteries she had stuck to the front. As she walked down the stairs....
• .....hoisted herself up with one hand on the bannister and the other on the wall, and gradually skuffled her way down the stairs, feet never touching the ground, saving the carpet from going thread-bare. Now that's what i call a sexy lady. Once down she looked at me and ........
• .... and smiled seductively. I stood there with the kettle in my hand. Slowly she began to peel off her nightdress. Firstly she flicked one strap to reveal a bare shoulder. My hand grew hotter, my pulse started to race. Then the other shoulder. Slowly the silken nightdress sank to the floor, clinging to her body as it fell, as if unwilling to release its embrace on her soft flesh. I grew hotter and hotter until......
• .....until the room began to fill with steam.
  "Kettle's boiled luv" I said, "that striptease routine gets me so hot we don't even need electricity for the kettle. That's a few pennies saved, to be sure"
  "Yes dear" she said, retrieving the fallen garment somewhat dejectedly.
  Suddenly our attention was diverted by the crunch of footsteps. Someone was walking up the gravel drive towards the front door, coming nearer and nearer......
• ... it was the postman carrying a huge sack of mail. It took him 23 minutes to stuff it all through my door. I grabbed my shovel and started moving it all to my furnace where it is burnt as fuel. I sell the resulting electricity to the national grid for 4p a unit and claim a grant from the government for recycling. It's amazing how much junk mail you can get after signing up to on internet email offer for ......
• ...one Readers Digest prize draw.
  "You better go and get the kids" said the missus.
  She was right. Its a long walk to school and if we don't get out by 5:30 we can't get down the fruitmarket to pick up the bashed and bruised pieces that might otherwise just get thrown away...
• ...and the extra time means more revenue from the sandwich boards...
• ....so we set off down the street, heads bowed at 45 degrees, scanning the pavement for dropped coins.
  Meanwhile, at home, Missus Moneysaver was getting ready to....
• ... go to her LifeSaving lessons at the local swimming pool. The lessons are free and we've found if she wears seven or eight layers of clothing with a few slivers of soap in the pockets she can get almost a weeks worth of laundry washed completely free of charge. The only problem is...
• that her clothes become so heavy, the pool manager has to call Ted, the local crane driver to get her out. But they don't really mind the expense, because all the attention brings in more customers for the pool, more revenue too and pays for Ted's service every time. The wife, the kids and I now get free swimming sessions as a result and the bobbing about she creates, waters our garden a treat on hot days (we only live next door).
  The trouble is, a little old lady slipped on one of the soap slithers the other day, went completely a over t and landed straight on her...
• ... well, lets just say she never had to worry about finding the cheapest gas supplier again!
  On the plus side, though, she didn't have to use the same supplier for her telephone, mobile phone, electricity etc ... : ... ;D which meant the savings she made could be used to invest in a soap-maker. She collected the slither of soap and added it to the others ready to be used when she had enough to make a new bar.
  That gave me an idea ...
• ...I must have a look to see if I have enough slivers myself to make that new soap bar. Off I went to the bathroom to find out.
  Moments later, I slid in to a relaxing, hot, Economy 7 water-heated bath and it wasn't long before I thought of all those people out there that could be saving money too, like me, except they thought their deal was the best by paying big up-front monthly payments for their wonderful utilities, brilliantly expensive tied-in contract mobiles and cheap-o-cheap Internet providers that provide such a good deal, even before they had used the service!
  But I wasn't worried, they'll soon come round eventually to thank me for letting them know what really does save you money and if they don't, well, some people can't see the wood for the trees...
• ......... my train of thought was interrupted. what was I just waffling about? It didn't matter. Mrs Moneysaver was standing in front of me. The weeks worth of washing she had worn to the swimming pool had been discarded. All except her bikini. At the mere thought of it I started to heat up again. Fortunately we had rigged up an ingenious system so, as the bath water turned to steam........
• ... it fed straight into the the swimming pools sauna (I think I mentioned, it is next door). They don't pay us but we do get to gather any soap slivers and almost-but-not-quite empty shampoo sachets lying about in the showers.
  I said "I can't believe how much we save just by your getting your kit off, love" but was interrupted by the telephone ringing...
• ...."will you accept a collect call"? asked the operator.
  "You must be joking. Ths is a moneysaving house. There's plenty of ways to call us cheaply" said Mrs Moneysaver angrily replacing the reciever.
  "Why is it that every time I take my clothes off we get interrupted".
  She hurried back to the bathroom desperately hoping to recapture the romantic mood.
  Too late! I had already started to.........
• …pass our washing through the mangle, tumble dryers who needs em. I suggest Mrs Moneysaver use the exercise bike maybe she can generate enough electricity from its onboard dynamo to…
• Make the sun scorch through the curtains again, it always leaves me with a smile on my face as i can perkily race downstairs - turn the heating off and save electricity.
  Get the milk from the fridge, via the cat flap i've had fitted, it keeps the door closed longer and saves the whole place waking up.
  Called the missus down, knowing as she walked on the carpet the friction would........
• ...power the mini-fans she had on the back of her slippers and recharge the batteries she had stuck to the front.
  "We must remember to pack these batteries now that they are fully charged, as we might need a torch at the doss house after we have burnt the house down." She said.
  "You find the E-Sure insurance forms, I'll nip out to get the petrol and matches." I said.
  "Remember to crash the car and write it off completely, dear" she nagged.
  "Put your clothes back on." I replied, squeezing through the front door via the catflap to save losing heat.
  As she walked down the stairs she...
• Rubbed fiery jack all over her body, it would help her keep warm as well as help her squeeze through the heat saving cat flap.
  Once outside she put on several layers of clothing and suddenly remembered she hadn't picked up the E sure insurance forms, so she.......