Army Divorce advice

A question about : Army Divorce advice

Hi all
Not sure if I am in the right place, but any advice would be greatful.
After 14 years of marriage to a soldier I walked in on him and my best mate in a compramising position in my kitchen, we have been together much longer but only married the 14 years
The marriage then ended rather quickly.
I am trying to work out what im entittled to in regard to his pension, he is a ssgt and im aware of what his pension will be but does anyone know how the pension gets dealt with during a divorce?
The solicitor said that while my husband is refusing to deal with getting a divorce he cant do much to sort out the finances.
I dont want it to be all money grabbing But my husband an I have 4 children 2 of which want to go to uni soon and without this money I cant afford to send them and he is refusing to help?
Any advice even if its second hand would be grateful
Thanks

Best answers:

• Hi,
  I'm sure someone more advanced than me in this subject area will come along soon but:
  Student loans should take care of university costs, along with opening a student account with interest free overdrafts if needed.
  My parents aren't exactly flushed, but I never asked a penny and so I shouldnt as it was my choice to go to university for 3 years.
  So you should be okay with that one. Unless you want to buy a computer or laptop?
  I would of thought you would be entitled to 50% of your husbands wealth?
• Thank you,
  I just would like to make sure that the kids get the best chance as we planned all their lives.
  My daughter wants to be a vet so i would like to make sure she doesnt have to get a a job.
  I hope your right on the 50% I always thought it was that but then other people say its not automatically that?
  I have been warned that I should not take the pension and should get the lump sum only. I dont know how true it is but if i remarry i would loose my entilttlement to his pension, so although the lump is much smaller i can always get remarried in a few years :-D
• Also, if your 2 lesser aged kids are of certain age, below 16 or 18, then your ex husband MUST pay child support.
  Student accounts, with interest free overdraft, is usually up to Ј1250, you also get a graduate account when you graduate where its also interest free for 3 years to pay off your overdraft from the student account. Very handy.
  Furthermore, don't worry about the student loan, it is income assessed and your kids only pay it back when they earn Ј15000 per annum once university is finished, unless the 'rules' chnage dramatically by the time your kids start university. Student loan pays all costs for tution fees, accommodation and maintenance loan, unless parents income is extremely high.
  I've just finished university 2 months ago so I can assure you of this.
• awww thats great to know thank you.
  I hadnt really looked into it properly its all a bit overwelming.
  Congratulations on graduation uni yourself though
• Many thanks
  I bank with Natwest so check this out:
  https://www.natwest.com/personal/stud...t-account.ashx
  You,well the child in question, will need a UCAS form stating acceptance of gaining a place on a 3 or more year degree course at any university.
  I'm sure someone will come along soon to answer the remaining question regarding what you are fully legally entitled to once filing for divorce.
  I Hope it goes smoothly for you, and my sincere sympathy for your current situation.
• Sorry to hear about your marriage break up, each divorce regrading pension/settlement/house is individual. Your soon to be ex husband may prefer to give you a lump sum or property, it will depend on the advice of his solicitor. Your husband will not have to pay any child support to any child studying higher than A level.
  My husband pays a high amount each month towards children from his first marriage, but let his ex keep the house in lieu of his pension.(which she sold for massive profit!) Which I am thankful of, at least she wont need to hassle us again in a few years. You also need to think of yourself will you want to still have ties to him in several years.
  Your best advice will come from your solicitor, they will have access to all your details.
• I couldn't just read this and pass by. You are not in a good place just now, but it will get better - much better.
  Have a look at the csa website. You should get 25% of his net income for four children. This will usually be paid monthly if he is paid monthly.
  I am a single mum and went through all the worries/ guilt about my daughter and money for uni but it does work out in the end.
  Usually for a divorce all assets will be calculated e.g. pension, house, savings etc and then the division will be based on the total. There is a legal reqiremnet for your ex to provide these details as part of a financial agreement. You may decide to take more cash or the house while your ex keeps his pension. Look at what works for you and your children. When I separated fro my ex I kept more of the savings to deposit on a house, while he kept his pension. Now I make extra pension contributions to make up the shortfall.
• If he is refusing to deal with the financial aspects then you or your solicitor need him to complete a Form E, see Courts Service website or wikivorce, if he refuses then you will have no other recourse than to start Court proceedings for Ancillary relief. As part of the process he will need to apply to the Pensions Agency for a CETV which will determine how much the pension is worth and from that you and your sol can work out how much to go for along with maintainance etc etc.
  Think that is a slightly higher priority than Uni tbh.
• you could get upto 14/22 of his pension IF he stays in for 22 years, however you don't get anything till you are 65 (or 60 I can never remember which)....don't think that you get anything from his monthly pension before then...also if he does get out he gets his lump sum which you can get hold of some....however if you get hold of to much then you will have to pay solicitor fees etc (this comes as quite a shock to some people)
  if he pays towards the kids going to UNI then his CSA payments will be reduced
  If he gets a mortgage etc (or already has one) then CSA payments are reduced as will if he has to travel a long distance to see them
  Also if he takes on loans that were a benefit to you/kids CSA reduce payments
  Please don't think you are taking him to the cleaners as you might be shocked as to what you will actually get.... (you need to keep a clear head on this and not listen to GOSSIP)
  Alot of wives/guys I know sort out a lump sum when they leave and leave the pension alone (especially and you don't beneifit till your in your 60's)
  My advice on the CSA is keep away unless he continues to refuse to pay (its worth actually sitting down with him on this)
  Solictiors CANNOT make him pay (they are NOT THE LAW) only a court and CSA can make him pay....so don't waste your money on solicitors fees if you don't have to!! (unless you get legal aid which can be a painful process)
  And please remember he is just as entitled to YOUR pension if you have one as you are to his!
• CSA repayments are no longer reduced in relation to a mortgage for new claims.
  He would have to prove any prior loans were joint and for the benefit of the family for them to be considered.
• https://www.forpen.org/how-we-can-hel...tions/#divorce have a look at this website for a small fee you can join this society they should be able to assist you.
• WOW thank you all so much for your kind words and advice. I was a little worried asking it on here but im so glad i posted.
  I do get CSA from him, which is a start :-)
  I will start to read all this info again tomorrow when im not so tired and really start to get myself together.
  Thank you again for all your comments and lovely words it meant a lot
  xxx
• With regard to your childern some people give sole custody to the servicing person, even if the child does not live with this parent, this means they often can keep a married quarter and continue to get Army help for things like school fees, it can be risky but if you can make it work can be good for everybody.
• Maybe instead of argueing we should advise Travelchick to go to the CSA website and use the self calculation option available.
• thanks you again for all the advice. I think with CSA its a case of a roof over the childs head is more important than the head of the absent parent. Neither my ex nor i live in the house we own so it was not a consideration the CSA made. He lives in the mess an the csa disreguarded his living expences an did the calculations based on base wage minus tax an NI. Thanks again for so much advice an kind words :-)
• This is a helpful site as well www.ondivorce.co.uk