26 Feb 2015

A question about : 3 year old picking up bad language at nursery

My DS is 3.5 and has in recent days started coming home from nursery using a range of not very nice words and phrases.

The culprit appears to be a kid called Keenan, so OH had a word with a couple of the key workers in his room this morning at drop off, and neither of them seemed particularly surprised that this boy's name had come up. They said they'd keep an eye on it etc, but I struggle to see how you can stop a child using swear words/dodgy phrases (that sound like they are coming out of some horrible R&B song). Whether they'll have the guts to speak to his parents I don't know.

Anyway..my question is, what is the best way to handle it when DS shouts bad words? Yesterday it was the word P155 shouted very loudly most the way home. He's also started saying 'bl00dy daddy' out of the blue.

Is ignoring it the best way? I guess you don't want to make too much fuss as kids are renowned for doing something more if they are told not to.

I'm well aware that children pick up all kinds of unsavoury stuff at school, I just think it's a bit of a shame that it seems to be starting at nursery.

Best answers:

  • Yep!
    My DS kept saying 'Keenan is very ANGRY' over and over yesterday too.
    Sounds like Keenan has some issues..
  • It's difficult isn't it, because you have to balance not having to walk home to the accompaniment of swearwords (and possibly negative attention from other people, which would totally undermine you ignoring him!).
    I generally just tell mine quietly that that's not a nice word to use, and that I don't want to hear it being used/it might offend or upset someone, depending on the word and context, and then change the subject and distract them. That's how I would handle it with my three year old. Older children than your DS, I would talk about what it means and why it's offensive too.
    We have had some interesting discussions when my son aged 5 started chanting the N word. I was horrified, but it turned out they sing a song at school which goes digger-digger-digger-digger, and he was just playing around with the sound, he didn't even realise it was a real word... we ended up doing a lot of research together about racism and apartheid, which lead my very fact-obsessed little boy into evolution, geography and all sorts - he completely forgot that one offensive word that started it all...
  • With my 3 year old (who never picks up any nice words, but if someone swears at the opposite end of a shopping centre he'll pick it up in an instant!) I just say "That's not nice, we don't use that word/those words in this house" and then ignore after that.
    I've always found the bigger the fuss the longer the word is remembered for. When my DD1 was about 3 my BIL dropped a cup of freshly made tea on his foot. He yelled about 5 different things as he dashed to the shower, totally forgetting DD was there. My MIL made a HUGE fuss when she repeated one of them and kept fussing over and over and over when she said it. It took ages for her to forget.
  • My brother called mashed potato sh#t for ages after mum dropped some and swore. Ignoring it was the only thing that worked.
    Poor Keenan though, can't see him performing well in life if he's already swearing and angry at 3
  • My daughter said 'b''s instead of 'f''s when she was little,so it wasnt too bad when she was shouting 'buck off' on a crowded beach on holiday....
  • It will get worse when he starts school....much worse....
  • I'm going through this at the moment and ignoring it for me didn't work. My boy is 2 and a half and he says f@@@ sake. Luckily it sounds more like cupcakes so when out in public I can just say no you are not having cupcakes. Lol.
    The solution I am trying is telling him it's a bad word and it's not nice to use them. We should say funny words. ( his favourite programme is Jake and the Neverland pirates and one character uses ' oh coconuts' for when he gets things wrong) so I say if he gets angry that he can use that word instead. I'll see how it goes. Been working so far.
  • At nursery age I`d say ignore the `random/one off` bad words, if he continues to say it over and over then I`d use distraction `oh look x I see a cat in the garden whats he doing?` That worked with my son.
    My son aged 6 has a child in his class who seems to be `porn mouthed` instead of `potty mouthed` and I now have a very rude son who thinks its hilarious and no amount of telling off is working and his now too young to distract or ignore.
    I`ve informed the school who are aware of this boy but his parents aren't interested and let him do it infront of them!
    It WILL get worse once he starts school - just to warn you LOL!!
  • Remember No1 son (age 4 1/12 ) come running in one time shouting what sounded like "b0llo**s"! OH turned to him, (looking very guilty, it has to be said) and asked "J--------- - what was that?" "Rollocks, daddy, I need some rollocks for my boat"!!!
    (After that we did toy with the idea of opening a Chandlery and calling it Rollocks & Bollards).
  • that's really terrible. Really can't get my head around families who use that kind of language around their kids. I'd be asking nursery when they are going to challenge the parents of Keenan about it.
  • Is it really acceptable to be naming somebody else's child on here?
  • I think he is small, and would learn after some time. But it's your responsibility that you manage him. talk with politely as beating & too much scolding will cause condition worst. Scold but little bit, and tell him not to say such thing. I have also 4 year son, and he speaks some bad or slang words, and it troubles me.
  • was out in the park with the 3 lads last friday, some teenagers were there, harmless enough, just being teens. But they swore once, and my partner politely told them there's kids here now and they need to watch their language.
    It carried on, so i ended up having a word, well a stern word, seemed to keep them quiet for a while, but before long it was back. Thing is i dont blame them, theyre teenagers.
    The important thing was to explain to our little ones that words like that arent acceptable.
  • I would just ignore it, if you make a fuss so do they, our first son discovered the phrase p155 off when he was three he would happily yell that one out for a couple of weeks.
  • I remember my son saying "Mother F....er" when he was 3. I asked where he'd heard it as it was a very bad word - he looked stunned, his eyes began to well up and he told me CBeeBies.
    Turned out he was trying to say Makka Pakka from the night garden...
    ...and it does get worse when they go to big school, he's 10 now!
  • Keenan probably has older brothers or/and sisters. It's not nice but littlies are often going hear horrible words from older kids. I would ignore, from my experience any reaction will cause more interest.
    I have never heard my 9 year old swear but my 14 year old informed me that on the rollercoaster at Clacton he was shouting and swearing like a trooper. I really think that it's more about explaining when these words could be used rather than saying one should never use them. Obvs not at the age of 3 but later on!
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